The Three Threads
by Manoftyr
Summary: This is a story of three romances, GaaxHina NaruxSaku and ShikaxTema, and how they grow/develop along an alternate time-line which branches off around the time Itachi and Jiraya die, the story itself takes place roughly two and a half years after.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

_It's been five days since I saw Gaara off from Sunagakure on his journey to Konohagakure to observe the Chunin exams; Kankurou is staying behind to act as an interim village head. I would have gone with Gaara myself as a bodyguard but he was just short of actually ordering me to stay behind, and would have if I pressed the issue further; he's been like that ever since he discovered my pregnancy. Poor Shikamaru; he dropped everything and rushed here from Konoha the day the carrier falcon delivered the message, managed to get here in just three days too although he was understandably exhausted from the journey and uncharacteristically frantic._

_To his credit though he hasn't tried to shirk his responsibilities whatsoever or has even so much as complained once, in fact, he seems happy about this which puts me at ease, that; and his friends and family are all by in large supportive. I know Shikaku thinks I'm great and Choji's a sweetheart so I expected as much from them but I was more than a little surprised when we received letters of congratulations and support from Yuhi Kurenai, Ino, Shikamaru's mother and even the Hokage herself._

_By contrast my own family/home village's reaction was markedly different. Gaara was more than a little aggravated with me when he first heard the news as he and Kankurou scolded me about the possible repercussions of getting romantically involved with a Shinobi of a separate village, even an allied one, let alone bearing children together. I was a little hurt by this as neither of them seemed the least bit concerned with how the news was affecting me as an individual nor did either of them extend so much as a single word of support or happiness at the prospect of me being a mother or either of them being uncles. Of course, I've come to expect as much from my brothers, after all, I wasn't exactly the greatest big sister in the world to either of them and they resent me for it; I can tell._

_Kankurou's much more obvious about it while Gaara doesn't let on much but deep down I suspect Gaara actually resents me the more of the two, I mean; if I resent myself for how I treated them, especially Gaara, when we were younger doesn't it stand to reason that they, and especially Gaara, would resent me a hundred fold more?_

_I would think so at any rate._

_Temari_

It was the morning before the next annual Chunin exam and I was helping Naruto train in preparation; fortunately I had the next few months off from missions when he was asking around and something inside made me jump at the opportunity. I've been spending the day trying to build up the courage to reveal my feelings, but so far I've had little success, every time I find an opportune moment to express them I choke up. "Oie, am I ever BEAT!" Naruto exclaimed after our last sparring session

"yeah…me too" I replied in my usual understated and mousey way to which Naruto loudly exclaimed-

"LUNCH BREAK!" and leap to his feet excitedly "c'mon! let's go get some Ramen!, Ichiraku is the best!" he continued as he headed off towards the market square, his enthusiasm for life always made me smile.

As we neared the market square Naruto squinted his eyes briefly and looked off into the distance "…is that...GAARA?" Naruto exclaimed and ran off ahead of me towards a robed figure in the distance slowly walking in our direction. As I caught up I heard Naruto exclaiming "It's been forever! How have you been Gaara?, or should I say Kazekage Gaara!" he declared as I remembered who that was, it was Sabaku no Gaara. I only knew of him from a brief encounter we had during the Chunin exams nearly five years ago and even then we never exchanged words…I always found him downright terrifying to be honest.

"No need for the formalities, old friend" Gaara stated calmly with his arms folded then peered around Naruto to look at me, I was panting and holding my knees as I was quite tired from catching up to the speeding Naruto so quickly after sparring "…is your friend alright?" Gaara asked.

"Awe, Hinata?; She's fine!" Naruto exclaimed "right Hinata?" he continued and gave me a friendly pat on the back causing me to freeze up in a mix of fear, embarrassment and lust at his touch.

I tried to form words to respond but all that came out was a stammered, trembling "uhh-uhhh-uh." Gaara kinked his head slightly in apparent confusion "don't worry, she has a bit of a stutter; she trips over her words all the time!" Naruto assured Gaara in his usual tactlessly clueless manner.

Gaara replied with a slightly delayed "…I see."

"Anyway!, what are you doing in Konoha?" Naruto asked.

"I'm here to observe the Chunin exams, Sunagakure has quite a few entrants this year and I have high hopes for a few of them" Gaara explained. His manner was firm, stiff and rather guarded but he lacked that pronounced edge of maliciousness he once possessed, it was strange but; he didn't seem so scary anymore, he was still a little intimidating but that sense of drop dead terror he once radiated was utterly gone.

"That's great!, you know I'm going to be competing, again!, I'm still a stupid Genin."

Gaara blinked "a Genin?" he sounded shocked, almost raising his voice "your combat ability exceeds any Jonin I know of, and I'd wager a guess you're on par with, if not actually stronger than, myself; and I'm a Kage" he continued.

Naruto frowned "I dunno, I guess I must be stupid or something."

"Nonsense!" Garra said sharply, almost interrupting "this is entirely unacceptable, I shall bring this up with your Hokage at my earliest opportunity" Naruto's frown suddenly turned into a rather surprised smile.

"You'd do that for me?" Naruto asked.

Gaara waved his hand, almost dismissively, "of course, you are my friend and I owe you my life…besides, I think I know what's going on here" Gaara's eyes drifted down towards Naruto's abdomen "it is unfair that such a thing would have the higher ups holding you back" he concluded ominously. I knew what Gaara was talking about, Naruto is the Jinchuriki of the Nine Tails, and the thought had occurred to a few of us, me included, that it was for this reason it seemed as though the higher ups were holding Naruto back as a Genin for so long when he was so clearly Jonin material.

Naruto's smile turned back into a frown and he clutched at the front of his shirt over his abdomen but he quickly shook it off with the following declaration "well, we were about to go get some ramen!, wanna come?, you're the Kazekage!, you could probably get it for us for free!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Well, I doubt I could get it for you for free to be completely truthful" Gaara mused.

"Don't be stupid!, You're a Kage! Now come on!" Naruto exclaimed as he grabbed Gaara by the arm and practically dragged him over to the Ichiraku Ramen booth.

It was the same as always, Naruto and everyone else just ignored me the instant someone else more interesting showed up…it made me feel depressed, deep inside; I was always relegated to the role of 'third wheel' or so it seemed. I followed as Naruto dragged Gaara to the ramen booth but before he could so much as open his mouth Teuchi declared "no Naruto, you're not getting free ramen today just because you're friends with the Kazekage" and Naruto's jaw dropped.

"Bu-BUT WHYYYYY?" Naruto whined and Teuchi folded his arms.

"Naruto, Kazekage-sama is going to be in Konoha for the entirety of the Chunin exams and if if I were to give you free ramen for all that time you'd put me out of business. Now, if Kazekage-sama would like some ramen I would of course oblige and it would be free of charge no question, but, I also happen to know that Kazekage-sama isn't partial to ramen" Teuchi explained and Naruto turned to Gaara, his jaw dropping again.

"YOU DON'T LIKE RAMEN?" Naruto exclaimed in disbelief.

"Hate it" Gaara replied nonchalantly and Naruto let out a disappointed sigh as he turned back to Teuchi.

"Oh well…I guess I'll just have to pay for it myself" Naruto concluded and reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet gama-chan, popped it open and gasped in disbelief at the empty container "…oh that's right!" Naruto exclaimed in sudden remembrance "I spent the last of my money last night!" he uttered in a low, disappointed whine.

Teuchi gave a shrug "Well, if you don't have any money, I'm going to have to ask you to-"

"would this be sufficient to treat my friend?" Gaara half asked and half-interrupted; his finger pressed to a gold coin he had dropped onto the table that appeared extremely valuable. Teuchi gasped; confirming that suspicion.

"But, but Kazekage-sama I couldn't!, that's far too much!"

"Think nothing of it" Gaara dismissed his gasp with a gentle half wave of his arm "and keep whatever change is left" he concluded.

"Y-yes Kazekage-sama, thank you, thank you very much" Teuchi clasped his hands and bowed sharply.

"GAARA! YOU'RE THE BEST!" Naruto exclaimed as he hugged Gaara, practically jumping up and down with him.

"It's fine Naruto, I do know how much you enjoy your ramen" Gaara voiced in an apparent attempt to calm Naruto, his body language indicating he was less than comfortable with the sudden hug.

"Naruto, I will make you your favorite, all you want!" Teuchi shouted ecstatically.

"YES!" Naruto exclaimed and it wasn't long before he was slurping down bowl after bowl of ramen. I looked down at the table, feeling depressed, everyone always just kind of ignores me, especially Naruto; if only I could build up the courage to tell him how I felt, I sulked to myself for a moment before a voice interrupted me-

"Are you hungry yourself Hinata?"

I turned to the direction of the voice and saw Gaara looking towards me, his expression blank.

"P-p-pardon?" I stuttered, unsure as to what I just heard and there was a slight pause before Gaara issued a response.

"Would you like some ramen as well?" he clarified.

Gaara's expression remained blank even as he restated the offer and his tone seemed strangely, well; vulnerable for lack of a better term, he sounded vulnerable, and vulnerability is something I would never have associated with him. It was as though he wasn't sure what expression to wear or what kind of inflexions of speech to use and so used none but was nevertheless going out on a limb to do something kind for me. Also, it seemed almost as though he feared 'something' but I couldn't quite put my finger on what that could possibly be, after all, what in the world could someone like him possibly be frightened of?

Lost in my thoughts and shocked as I was by the offer a few moments had already gone by without me issuing a response, Gaara let forth a soft, barely audible, sigh and slowly began turning his gaze away "o-okay!" I replied before losing sight of his eyes.

Gaara blinked, as though he was legitimately surprised by my response, or at having gotten a response at all "…alright then" he replied, now with a little bit more feeling to his tone as his lips slowly twisted upwards into a small smile; I had never seen him smile before, in fact, before now I didn't think he was even capable of smiling. Gaara's eyes seemed to read where my eyes were looking and as though it was a practiced and learned behavioral instinct at this point the smile was gone as quickly as it had come but I saw it, even if for a brief moment; he smiled at me "and a bowl for the young lady here!" he added at a raised volume to ensure Teuchi heard him over Naruto's ravenous slurping.

"Coming right up!" Teuchi replied with a smile.

I looked over towards Gaara, unsure as how to respond to this sudden gesture on his part, even if he didn't exude the same aura of sheer terror he once did the lurid scenes of the past still lingered in my mind. How he crushed those three Genin with ease and without pity or mercy, that terrifyingly blank gaze, hiding with Kiba and Shino in the brush, hoping, praying to any and every god that he didn't see us there, that I wouldn't have to watch my friends die at the hands of the monster I saw before me. Though I never saw the actual fight I did see the aftermath; no one trained harder than Rock Lee for the Chunin exams but Gaara crippled him and walked away from the fight utterly unscathed, and apparently tried to murder him afterwards, or so I heard. It has been four, nearly five, years since then and during that time frame I haven't really encountered him at all but I've heard stories about him from others; all of them quite heroic actually, especially the story about how he practically sacrificed himself to protect his village, everyone says he's changed immensely.

Come to think of it, this was the first time I'd ever gotten a really good look at him; he had extremely captivating eyes like Naruto but they were a whole different kind of captivating. Naruto had these big baby blues that you could just get lost in like an ocean but Gaara's were more like turquoise gemstones, angular and mysterious; exotic even, I always had a thing for eyes, it's a big part of why I find Naruto so attractive. Seeing the two of them sit next to each other was a rather interesting comparison, the two of them couldn't possibly be more different "here you go, one order of ramen courtesy of the Kazekage!" Teuchi declared as he plonked the bowl down in front of me, jarring me from my thoughts and startling me.

"Oh!" I uttered in surprise with a slight jump "th-thank you" Naruto was too busy slupring down bowls to notice however which saved me some embarrassment, Gaara on the other hand uttered a soft chuckle.

"Well, I must be off; I do have to meet with your Hokage in a few minutes" Gaara spoke as he rose from his seat "take care Naruto."

"Buhhhy!" Naruto garbled back in reply, his mouth stuffed with ramen.

Gaara turned to me and politely tipped his Kage hat "and farewell to you as well, Hinata" he said and smiled at me for a second time before turning around and walking his way over to the Hokage mansion.

By the time I had finished my bowl, Naruto had eaten a bunch and reclined with a big bulge in his belly "ahhhh" he sounded in satisfaction as I smiled at the silly spectacle "Gaara smiled at you" Naruto mused out of practically nowhere "twice" he added "…he almost never smiles" there was a rare serious inflection to his tone of voice.

…

"How long are you going to keep up this charade?" I commented snarkily as I stood across from the Hokage's desk, arms folded "Naruto may be trusting, naïve and a little slow at times but he's not an idiot; you don't think he knows what's going on?" I pressed and Tsunade sighed.

"Kazekage-dono-"

"Can it with the formalities Tsunade, they irk me" I interrupted rudely, which I'll be honest was somewhat intentional but truthfully, formalities do get on my nerves.

Tsunade grunted, practically growled, "fine, Gaara, I still don't see how this is any of your concern; this is a Konoha matter."

"How long are you going to sit there and bullshit me?" I continued "you know 'exactly' why this is my concern."

"Because he's a Jinchuriki" Tsunade relented with a low sigh.

"You do realize that if he competes again he will utterly dominate the tournament, right?" I continued.

"I know" Tsunade replied less than enthusiastically.

"It'd be the equivalent of sending your entire graduating class into a meat grinder, they're not going to stand a chance; what're you going to do?, tell Naruto he's still not Chunin material after he makes sport of an entire tournament?" I continued.

"Actually, that was kind of the plan" Tsunade admitted in a tone that suggested she was more than a little ashamed.

"How could you do that to him?"

"It's not up to me!" she shouted "do you think I want to bar Naruto from advancement? My advisors won't stand for anything less" she complained.

"So? They're only advisors" I said.

Tsunade groaned "it's not that simple, they hold a lot of influence and if I spurn them I may lose their support."

"Excuses" I dismissed "you are Hokage are you not?, the final call is yours" I pressed on and Tsunade grunted in annoyance. "What of the spectators?" I added "Naruto is sure to wow them with his abilities, if he is not promoted to a Chunin 'everyone' is going to know what's going on, it'd be PR suicide" I continued to make my case.

"You don't think I've gone through all of this in my head over and over again already?" Tsunade replied, clearly stressed out as she let forth a deep sigh "but the fact remains; my advisors, the elders and their constituents all want Naruto to remain a Genin at all costs."

"I see" I replied "…then you can forget our villages' alliance" I replied grimly.

Tsunade's eyes perked up "what?" she exclaimed.

"You heard me, if Naruto isn't made into a Chunin then our alliance is finished and you can say goodbye to all the revenue Konoha has been enjoying through the lucrative Country of Wind spice trade" I concluded.

"If I had balls I'd say you were putting them in a vice" Tsunade commented with a wry smirk "so you're telling me that if Naruto isn't made a Chunin then Suna will resume hostilities with Konoha?" she asked.

"That's right."

"You're bluffing!" she declared.

"So what if I am?" I replied "we both want the same thing correct?, this provides you with a convenient excuse, if the elders give you a hard time you can say I gave you no choice if you wished to preserve Konoha's advantageous foreign relations" I elaborated.

"You're a smart cookie" Tsunade said with a laugh "alright then, I'll promote Naruto and if I catch any flak for it, I'll put the blame squarely on your shoulders."

"And don't expect me to pretend I care if confronted by any of your advisor's lackeys, or even your advisors themselves" I interjected and Tsunade let out a laugh.

"I like you, kid." Tsunade let out a yell "SAKURAAA!" and in a few short moments Sakura burst through Tsunade's office.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama!" she said with a bow before realizing I was in the room "oh!, Gaara-k-I mean, Kazekage-sama" she said with another bow, this one directed towards me.

Sakura typically referred to me as Gaara-kun but I gathered she felt the need to use proper honorifics in Tsunade's presence "go fetch your boyfriend" Tsunade said "I have news for him" she concluded.

"Yes, right away!" Sakura replied and sped away.

"Boyfriend?" I inquired.

"Yeah, Sakura and Naruto made things official a little over a month ago" Tsunade explained 'does Hinata know?' I thought to myself "anyway, now that, that's out of the way we can move on to the real matter at hand" Tsunade said gravely.

I nodded "Uchiha Sasuke and Akatsuki."

"It's been nearly three years since Uchiha Sasuke slipped through our grasp and his trail, as well as the trail of Akatsuki have long since dried up completely" Tsunade began. "We were certain Pain would strike at us to attain Naruto and the Nine Tails but months went by and no attack came, a year later and Akatsuki still hadn't made a move, in desperation we've been searching for them ourselves but thus far haven't met with any luck. And now, two and a half plus years since Jiraiya's message was first delivered, there's still nothing; it's as though Akatsuki, along with Pain *and* Sasuke, vanished into thin air" Tsunade finished as I remained silent, arms folded.

"Perhaps the organization collapsed in on itself?" I suggested.

"I strongly doubt that Gaara" Tsunade replied.

"Well, what would you have me do? Suna's intelligence on Akatsuki isn't anywhere near Konoha's, I strongly doubt we would meet with any success where you have failed" I reasoned.

"Well, about that-" suddenly the door swung open cutting Tsunade off as in walked Naruto and Sakura with Hinata trailing behind "ah, Naruto you're here-"

"Have you found Sasuke yet?, or what about Akatsuki and Pain?, any news?" Naruto declared in excitement before Tsunade could even finish her statement as Sakura looked on with hopeful eyes.

Tsunade didn't have to say anything, they could tell by her face and their hopeful expressions began to fade "I do have good news though, Naruto; I've decided to promote you to Chunin, there's no need for you to take the exams again" Tsunade said and Naruto's face lit up like a thousand candles.

Sakura's attention immediately turned to me "Gaara, did you-"

"I did no such thing" I dismissed but I could tell by Sakura's smile that she had read through the lines so to speak.

"Thank you" she uttered lowly.

Naruto was speechless, so excited and happy he was practically trembling "I'm still not entirely sure where your talents would fit best in a Chunin's capacity but I'll have it figured out by the end of these exams" Tsunade concluded.

I could see Hinata smiling broadly from behind Naruto, it looked like she wanted to say something but she was hesitating, biting her lip, trying to build up courage 'what a timid lass' I thought to myself, and yet there was…something about her, something 'odd' I couldn't put my finger on. Suddenly I realized what was going on, she didn't know, 'Naruto you imbecile!' I thought to myself, he must've have been utterly clueless as to her crush on him, she must see this as an opportune moment to express her feelings. My eyes darted over to Tsunade who seems to have made the exact same logical leap that I have but before either of us could open our mouths Hinata began to blurt out "I-I'm a Chunin, maybe I could show Na-"

"Oh Naruto, I'm so proud of you!" Sakura exclaimed out of nowhere, unintentionally interrupting Hinata whom she must've not heard in her excitement.

Naruto beamed a big grin over at Sakura "maybe you could show me the ropes, eh?" he commented flirtatiously.

"Mmn, I'd love to" Sakura replied in an equally flirtatious manner and Naruto drew her into a kiss on the lips. If I wasn't so stoic my jaw would have dropped and Tsunade actually face-palmed, from behind the two of them Hinata looked on as though someone had just stabbed her through the heart, she clutched her chest. Sakura, being the clever lass that she is, quickly realized something was up, pulled away from Naruto and looked behind her in time to witness Hinata break down into tears and run out the door then quickly turned back to face Tsunade whom was still face-palming.

Sakura looked over at me as I looked on somewhat condemningly "don't blame me!" she exclaimed "I thought she knew!" she continued then turned to Naruto "you didn't tell her?" she asked in disbelief.

Naruto, who was very confused by now, replied "tell who what?, and what just happened?; why did Hinata run away crying?"

"Because she's always had a crush on you, you nitwit!" Sakura shouted as Naruto gasped in disbelief.

"Gu-WHAAAA?" he exclaimed as the situation finally dawned on him and he looked around at our glares "w-well…HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?" he shouted prompting Tsunade to lift her head and slam the palms of her hands down on her desk.

"ARE YOU BOTH COMPLETELY RETARDED?" she shouted.

Sakura looked shocked "b-but I thought she knew!"

"Clearly she didn't!" Tsunade half shouted and half-snarked as she sharply extended her arm, gesturing at the door.

"Since when?" Naruto asked.

"Since when what?" Tsunade said sharply.

"…how long has she had a crush on me?" Naruto asked.

"Ten years; since the two of you were both eight years old and starting out at the academy" Tsunade answered in a tone clearly intended to imply Naruto was an idiot for not realizing this within said ten years as Naruto's eyes went wide in disbelief, then he appeared to have an 'aha!' moment, followed by a sigh.

"I…I'm a moron" Naruto relented.

"Yes, yes you are" Tsunade sighed.

"Someone should go after her, I don't think she's going to be okay" Sakura pointed out.

"I'll go" I said instinctively without thinking, surprising even myself. Everyone turned to me in shock and I sand-teleported out of the building in order to escape what was clearly about to become an embarrassing situation. I ascended into the air on a small platform of sand and scoured the ground for her…

…

I ran, and I ran, I was hysterical, tears must've been streaming down my face as I was crying so much I couldn't even see straight, I couldn't even summon up the focus necessary to use my byakuga. I just ran aimlessly, I wanted to get away, away from everyone and everything and just, go crawl into a hole somewhere to hide; and die. I tripped over a tree root and fell; lacking the will or energy to keep running I huddled up under the nearby tree and sobbed as my tears streamed down my face and into the earth beneath me, I had no idea where I was and I didn't care I didn't care about anything at that moment. I sobbed into the ground, tears streaming down for what must have been an hour at least when suddenly I felt something soft wiping the tears off from under my eyes.

focused my vision and realized there was a line of soft hand rubbing across my face, absorbing my tears, it wasn't abrasive at all; it felt like silk actually.

I looked up and there was standing The Kazekage; Gaara.


	2. Chapter 2

"To feel pain in solitude, it is the worst way to experience it for there is no greater pain in this world; than that of loneliness" he uttered lowly "I know this better than most; perhaps better than any" he concluded, his usually stoic expression was replaced with one which seemed to reflect concern, and his typically blank tone of voice, while still flat, showed cracks of emotion. I lowered my head and continued sobbing; I wasn't thinking clearly at all, everything suddenly seemed so pointless; so empty. "…I suppose you would much rather be by yourself" Gaara said; his tone somber, self-deprecating even, as if to say;

'Why would anyone want *me* of all people comforting them?, this was a stupid idea; my being here is just making things worse on her.'

Gaara slowly began to turn and I knew that if I didn't do anything to stop him, right now, he would leave, and as disoriented and emotional as I was right now I really only knew one thing at the moment: I did *NOT* want to be left alone.

I grabbed the bottom cuffs of his robe "…please don't leave me alone" I uttered weakly, looking up at him with tears streaming down my face; as good as he may be at hiding emotion his eyes could not help but betray the immense inner emotional reaction those five words triggered in him as he looked back at me. He paused, froze actually, his expression was a strange mix of many conflicting emotions; empathy, anxiety, compassion, uncertainty and fear just to name a few, his mouth lingered open slightly and his bottom lip twitched, almost trembled "…I don't want to be alone" I uttered, still weeping. As though being forced to move by instinct and emotions overriding his other thoughts Gaara, without saying a word, slowly knelt in front of me and acting upon a torrent of emotions I didn't fully understand I practically leapt at him, hugging him and burying my sobbing face in his left shoulder.

Gaara went extremely stiff for a brief moment, then slowly, his limbs trembling as he went; returned the embrace, resting his right hand on the small of my back and his left just below my shoulder blades. I'm not sure how much time went by with us staying like that as I cried and cried and cried into the cloth over his shoulder; letting my tears run freely over his robe although he didn't give any indication that he minded, or cared in the least even as he silently and solemnly, but not coldly, received and returned my embrace.

As I continued to weakly and softly dry sob into Gaara I heard a voice in the distance "Hinata?" it was Kiba "I heard you crying so I came over as fa-" he stopped in the middle of his sentence "GAARA?" he exclaimed in shock and I could hear Akamaru whimper in fear. "It's alright Akamaru; he's good people now, just like his brother" Kiba reassured Akamaru whom apparently had yet to get over his fear of the once terrifying young Kage "but, why're you here?, and more importantly; what's wrong with Hinata, why's she crying?" Kiba asked demandingly.

Gaara paused for a moment before answering "well…Naruto-"

"That piece of shit!" Kiba interrupted "he hurt her feelings, didn't he?" Kiba continued angrily.

"Well-"

"You don't have to say another word, I can guess what happened; he broke her heart" he interrupted again. "C'mon Akamaru" Kiba said and leapt onto Akamau's back.

"Where are you going?" Gaara asked.

"To kick his ass!" Kiba threatened and rode off on Akamaru.

"Don't worry" Gaara reassured me "I doubt very much things will come to violence" he continued, he apparently didn't know Kiba very well "even if they do, Kiba is no match for Naruto and I'm sure Nartuo would refrain from hurting him too badly" he continued, that I could buy. As my tears settled somewhat I looked up towards him and for the first time got a 'really' good look at his face, and holy crap, he was gorgeous; his eyes were so alluring and exotic and the way they contrasted against his dark red hair and pale skin was very nice. I studied his features a bit more closely through my teary eyes; his forehead was rather high and wide, his face was long with low, rather shallow, cheekbones that curved softly into an angular jaw line ending in a slightly pointed chin which matched his likewise-shaped nose, it all came together rather elegantly, almost delicately, his features were in a word; 'streamlined'.

Contrasting against this, however, was his rather tiny mouth with thin lips and his bigger than average ears which lent a certain degree of goofiness to his otherwise extremely elegant features, but it lent just the right amount of awkwardness to stand out as cute. What really drew me in though were his eyes, they were so unique and so pretty; their color was unlike any I'd ever seen before, they were turquoise in color but very reflective and sometimes they looked bluer and at other times greener depending on the angle I caught them at. Their shape was unique as well, being very deeply set and shaped almost geometrically which the dark rings around his eyes served to highlight, suddenly, I noticed an odd feature about his face; he had no eyebrows.

"You don't have eyebrows" I said between sobs as I wiped my tears off my face with my sleeve "why?" I asked and Gaara's stoic expression cracked, showing signs of embarrassment.

"Well…" he began then paused "I, sort of, pluck them" he admitted "I have a rather prominent brow and plucking my eyebrows makes it look smaller" he elaborated quickly, as though he felt the need to justify this behavior.

'He's a quirky fellow' I thought to myself, and that reminded me of why I was attracted to Naruto in the first place and I immediately went back to full blown bawling as Gaara looked on at a total loss for what to do; I could tell he wanted to make me feel better.

With a light sigh Gaara reached behind himself and under his robes to retrieve a summoning scroll, opened it and out materialized an odd looking stringed instrument; it had seven strings connected to three knobs at the top of its rather long neck for tuning, it's body was shaped kind of like a teardrop and unusually deep. He strummed a chord and plucked a few notes, it had a very peculiar sound that was almost akin to a biwa only higher in pitch and less twangy with a sharper tone; although it was strange and unusual sounding to me it wasn't at all unpleasant, it sounded; exotic.

After Gaara played for a few moments, mostly just simple melodies branching off from scale exercises with an occasional random chord thrown in, my sobs finally began to settle long enough for me to form words and I asked "what is that?" my voice a little strained and crackly from crying for so long.

Gaara strummed a chord and plucked a few notes before he answered "well it's most commonly called a saz but its more technically correct name would be the baglama; it's the traditional instrument of the ashik, or; traveling musician storyteller, whom are quite common in certain portions of the Country of Wind. It's a little piece of the desert I bring with me wherever I go and whenever I am feeling a little homesick I play around with it. In truth I'm not terribly good, my brother's a much better musician than I am; I'm a novice at best, but nevertheless I thought if I were to play it, it may serve to calm you" he concluded rather wordily, awkwardly even.

"It's helping" I commented honestly "well, that's good then" Gaara said back.

"Do you do anything else to remind you of home?" I asked shakily, trying to make conversation to take my mind off what had just transpired a short hour ago.

Gaara gave a light shrug as he continued fooling around with his baglama "other than cultivating the small, potted cacti I bring along with me on trips, not much" he answered.

"You like plants?" I asked.

"Yes, yes I do; but I have a special fondness for cactuses in particular."

"Why cactuses?"

"I relate to them" he answered.

"How so?" I inquired.

Gaara gave another shrug "well, for one thing they're a very misunderstood plant" Gaara began. "They're covered in spines and if you don't know how to handle them it's very easy to hurt yourself, some are quite poisonous, and they are considered by most whom are ignorant of them to be an ugly nuisance but if one cares to examine them a bit deeper one discovers a fascinatingly complex organism. They've adapted to life in the desert nothing short of perfectly, designed to be able to survive on as little water as possible as well as keep excess water stored within itself to survive droughts that would kill most any other plant or animal; and they have tough skin and spines to protect those reservoirs. They need their spines otherwise every other desert organism would converge on them and tear them apart to get at the water they hold inside, water is a very precious commodity in the desert ecosystem; they've simply adapted to protect what's theirs" Gaara elaborated at length.

It seemed that once you got Gaara talking about something he finds interesting his reservations quickly drop "they really are just very misunderstood" Gaara resumed his exposition on cacti. "Everything in the entire damned desert gangs up on them trying to tear them apart and get at what's inside them for their own survival at the expense of the cactus, can you blame them for having spines?, they've just adapted a defense mechanism for their own survival" Gaara continued elaborating, almost as though he was 'defending' cactuses. "Being labeled by the ignorant as 'bad', having to defend against greedy parasites desperately trying to get at what's inside, developing a tough coat of spines out of necessity and then being demonized for it; it's not fair, someone needs to love the cactus" Gaara affirmed, almost passionately.

"You relate to things that are misunderstood, don't you?" I asked.

Gaara gave a slight tilt of his head followed by a nod as he continued playing with his baglama "I suppose I do" he commented.

"Maybe that's because you're misunderstood" I commented a little sheepishly, pausing between words due to my timidity, also because I wasn't entirely sure how he'd respond to that implication.

Gaara stared back at me after my comment for a few moments, then smiled and said along with a low chuckle "perhaps so" and I couldn't help it but something about hearing him laugh, even if it was only a chuckle, made me smile.

"I like plants too, I love flowers; they're so pretty, especially when you press them" I replied, intrigued that we shared a mutual interest in flora.

"You know, many cacti have flowers; very beautiful flowers" Gaara began "have you ever seen a flowered cacti?" he inquired.

"No" I answered "none of them are native to the area" I continued to which Gaara gave a light tilt of his head and let out a 'hrmn.'

"Then perhaps one day I'll show you some" he mused aloud.

I said nothing, but smiled at his offer. This was all very strange for me, people didn't typically just sit down and talk to me like this and when they did I was far too insecure and soft spoken to ever say much; but something about Gaara, this mysterious young Kazekage from the windswept deserts of the west, put me at ease. I really couldn't put my finger on why, before today I knew nothing of him other than the sheer terror he once inspired many years ago; he seemed so different now, and yet, still very much the same, I couldn't begin to guess as to why he seemed to have taken such a sudden interest in me. In fact, this all was beginning to remind me of how I always wished Naruto would act towards me, how I wished I could have acted around him;

…'Naruto-kun.'

Sharp waves of sorrow and pain wracked my body as I reminded myself of what had just transpired and tears once again began welling up under my eyes as I broke out into another cry. Once I started crying Gaara's entire countenance changed, he dismissed his baglama back into a puff of smoke and scooted forward towards me "…nobody loves me" I uttered weepily, barely audible over my sobs and tears "nobody cares…I don't have anybody in this world, I'm going to die alone and unloved" I continued between my sobs. "My father doesn't care about me at all, all he sees is a weakling disappointment he has to circumvent from inheriting the clan and my sister just sees me as an archetype of that weakness; a constant reminder of what not to be" I sobbed, my hidden and guarded inner wells had boiled over and were spilling out.

I was unloading all of my grief, pain, sorrow and agony; I just…couldn't hold it all in any longer and the Kazekage just happened to be the only person available at the moment. My tears continued running, pouring rather, freely down my face as I continued "and the man I've loved and admired from a distance for ten years of my life has been in love with another woman all along" I continued. Wiping a few tears out from under my eyes with my right index finger I half-laughed and began again "and no one bothered or cared enough to even tell me that they were together, not even my friends."

Gaara inhaled lightly through his nose and blinked "perhaps your friends simply wished to spare your feelings-"

"Don't you get it Gaara?" I interrupted, slapping my knees with the backs of my hands as I did "no one cares…" I uttered, before letting my arms flop at my sides helplessly "…no one cares…" I repeated, practically choking over my tears.

An uncomfortable silence lingered over my sobbing permeating the air around me with a sense of gloom, until it was broken by a faint, soft whisper; "…I care."

I looked up, unsure as to what I just heard "wh…what?" I asked, my tears beginning to sill.

"I care" Gaara repeated following a second pause and I didn't say a word in response but stared back quizzically, my mouth gaping slightly in surprise. Gaara made a noise halfway between a 'tsk' and a 'hrmph' and forced a smile "is that so surprising?" he asked, a sarcastic inflexion to his voice. "I suppose I should expect as much" Gaara continued "after all, all you ever saw of me was the monster whom imploded those three Genin in the forest of death, the demon who made it rain blood" he stated, the aforementioned inflexion not leaving his voice. The forced smile remained, he wore it like a protective mask to guard himself from the outside, from the possibilities of hurt and rejection, like a shield to protect himself from the evils of the world; 'what great tragedy, woe or hurt does he hide?, what lurks behind so?' I wondered.

I bit my lip and hesitated for a slight moment before I spoke my next words "…I don't think you're a monster, or a demon" Gaara blinked in shock and his forced smile twisted into an expression of confusion. "In fact I…" I trailed off for a moment before recollecting my thoughts with a sharp shake of my head "…I think you're sweet" I finished and Gaara's widening eyes betrayed his clear shock at my words. Gaara cleared his throat and shuffled uncomfortably as his cheeks blushed. The flush of red was quite pronounced against his very pale skin making it impossible for him to have hid it or have played it off as though he hadn't reacted in such a way. My tears continued to still as those words reverberated in my mind 'I care' and I found myself perplexed by the young man sitting before me, indeed; I hardly knew him at all and him hardly at all me.

Now he seemed such an infinitely far cry from the boy I had hid in the bushes from, terrified for my life and the life of my friends as I watched him effortlessly and without pity annihilate a three man Genin squad. I had heard others speak in passing of this change in Gaara, but I had yet to see it for myself, fascinated, and feeling on some level obligated to reach out to him as he had to me, I pressed on with my self confidence suddenly on the rise. "I think you're sweet" I repeated and Gaara shuffled uncomfortably a second time "it was really sweet of you to buy me ramen earlier and it's sweet of you now that you're trying to make me feel better when I'm sad" I continued, now smiling.

Gaara grumbled "I'm not sweet" he mumbled lowly.

"And it was sweet of you to talk to Tsunade and get her to promote Naruto, even though you didn't have to; the bond you two share as fellow outcasts and Jinchuriki is sweet as well" I continued, still smiling and Gaara scoffed. "…and it was sweet how you defended your village and your loved ones, even at the cost of your own life."

"I did that because I had to!" Gaara snapped "not because I'm 'sweet'" he concluded defiantly.

"Why did you have to?" I asked innocently.

"Because it was the right thing to do" he answered.

"And that's sweet" I replied and Gaara practically groaned "why does this all make you so uncomfortable?" I asked innocently again.

Gaara's eyes drifted back and forth, almost darting, as though he was trying to avoid my direct eye contact before settling his gaze upon the ground in front of us, he offered no verbal response but his face formed into a small frown at my words. It was as though he felt threatened by those words, felt threatened by my not reacting with horror and perhaps disgust as he may have predicted, felt threatened at my repeated insistence that he was sweet. His arms folded defensively in front of him as though to reinforce the emotional barrier he was putting up, as though by folding his arms tightly in front of himself he added a physical medium and therefore another layer to his wall.

He was retreating back into his shell, of that I was certain, but I wasn't about to let up on this, not now after he had opened himself up to reach out and comfort me, not now that he had uttered those two simple words I needed to hear more than anything else at that moment; 'I care.' It all seemed too unfair to me, opening himself up to comfort and calm me only to wall himself away again and prevent me, or anyone else, from doing the same for him and his wounds, I knew then what I had to do. I closed my eyes and focused my chakra to the space between, the proverbial 'third eye', and held it there for a brief moment. 'Byakugan' I thought to myself as the accumulation of chakra rushed forth through my optic nerves activating my Kekkei Genkai and my eyes popped open, now there was no hiding anything from me, there was no wall I couldn't see past.

As I looked over Gaara all about him which was once hidden and mysterious to me began unraveling itself. The flowing and ebbing of his internal chakra along with the tiniest of body movements, otherwise invisible facial twitches and eye shifts conveyed their meanings to me unraveling a most tragic tale, a tale of such intense pain and anguish; of utter agony. His chakra was at once the most beautiful and most tragic thing I had ever beheld in my life; I had never before seen such capacity for love and compassion within someone, but nor had I ever seen such a capacity utterly crushed and buried under a mountain of wounds, carefully nurtured grudges and tragedies so great. It was like looking at a painting that 'could' have been the most beautiful thing you've ever seen but each of the most important and promising sections had been marred, smudged or twisted and in some cases torn away entirely.

"Your chakra…it's fascinating" I stammered out.

Gaara lifted his eyes back to face me as I spoke and as his eyes met mine and as he noticed my activated Byakugan his face washed white and his eyes clearly betrayed his rising fear and panic at the realization of what I was doing.

"Cut that out!" Gaara commanded, his tone was intended to be intimidating but came off as more desperate than anything else. His chakra flow changed sharply in such a way that indicated a rising state of fear or panic.

"You don't have to be afraid" I reassured, my courage rising along with my self-confidence as the need I felt to reach out to him grew evermore pressing.

"I said stop!" Gaara declared, I scooted closer to him, his eyes and chakra told me that he wanted to run, wanted to escape from this situation but somehow felt himself compelled and helpless to stay.

"It's alright" I soothed.

"I SAID STOP!" Gaara shouted while growing increasingly frantic; the idea of someone peering past his skin into his thoughts, and more specifically his emotions, seemed to utterly terrify him.

Reaching out I gently grabbed the tops of his hands which had folded even more tightly over his chest, his skin was surprisingly soft to the touch; almost like a baby's, I hadn't expected that and it briefly distracted me. I refocused myself and spoke "you cross your arms in front of you like this because you're afraid of allowing people past them" I explained. "It's akin to covering yourself up defensively, you fear people getting too close to you, you're afraid of anyone bypassing your wall; you fear being exposed, to be made vulnerable in any way" I smiled warmly. I made sure to keep Gaara's eye contact as I gently pulled Gaara's soft hands in opposite directions, unfolding his arms and placing his hands at his sides; he offered up no resistance.

"You're sensitive, very, very sensitive; your callous exterior is a defensive front" I continued describing to him what I saw in his chakra as I scanned him up and down with my Byakugan, taking in every subtle ebb and flow of his chakra and every indicative movement of his face or body associated. "…you weren't always this guarded though" I continued, still carefully reading his chakra and body language.

"When you were a child you were very sweet, trusting, loving, naïve even; the type of person who wouldn't hurt a fly if you could help it but, that part of yourself; it was buried overtime as a matter of necessity. I can't say for certain what happened but I can see that it was bad, real bad; life was relentlessly painful for you and crushingly lonely, you tried desperately for the approval and acknowledgement of those you desired it from; but never got it." As I continued to read his chakra what I saw in him began to mirror myself to a certain extent "but through it all you struggled desperately to hold on to your innocence, to that trusting naivety. All you wanted was for somebody, anybody, to love and acknowledge you and you believed in your young heart that if you just held out long enough someone would come along who would and, for a time, you believed you had found that person."

"But then something *terrible* happened; that person did something that wounded you to the very core of your being." I took a deep breath before I continued; this was hard for me to do in and of itself and the tragedy of what I was looking at in his chakra was so painful it was almost difficult to even look at. "This person whom you believed to be the first to acknowledge and love you committed some from of ultimate betrayal and left a deep scar in you, the kind of scar that cuts all the way to the pit of your soul and lodges itself in the very core of your being." "Whatever it was that happened, it crushed that innocence and left you practically unable to trust a soul; the effect of this betrayal was very profound, it shattered you."

I could see I was treading some pretty sensitive grounds for Gaara and so I paused in my speech; Gaara was utterly transfixed for his part, he gazed back at me unblinkingly for a full minute before breaking his silence "he tried to kill me" Gaara said. I could read that there was more to the story than just that, a lot more, but Gaara didn't trust me enough yet to go into greater detail, it was a leap for him in and of itself just to be telling me that much. Gaara's expression grew quizzical "tell me then, what else do your eyes see?" he asked.

"A sweet, caring, strong, largely misunderstood and very cute boy" I answered "but I don't need my Byakugan to see that" I finished and with that turned my Byakugan off.

…

I just admitted one of the most personal secrets of my life to someone who is more or less a complete stranger; what in the hell is going on?, who was this girl and why did I find her so damned fascinating?, why did I find myself so helpless but to trust her and why, deep down, did I like it? She kept smiling at me, at a loss for what to say I asked "are you okay now?" damn, that sounded awkward, wait, since when did I care how I sounded?; this was all so strange.

"I'm…better" Hinata answered "it still hurts, but not nearly as much as it did" suddenly Hinata's eyes went wide "oh no!" she exclaimed "I completely forgot about Kiba!, we have to stop him before he does something really dumb" she concluded and rose to her feet.

I blinked "I doubt Naruto would permanently injure him."

"It's not Naruto I'm worried about, it's Sakura I don't trust and the two of them are probably together" Hinata replied I kinked my head.

"You don't think Kiba would pick a fight with her too, do you?"

"Trust me, I've known him for years; it's almost a certainty" Hinata affirmed.

"Well, in that case we should make haste; if he's looking for Naruto we should find him first, that way we'll be able to prevent an incident before it occurs, quickly, get behind me and hold onto my robe." Hinata looked confused "we'll find him much quicker from a high vantage point, don't worry; I won't let you fall" I explained.

"Umm, how should I-"

"Just hug tightly onto my torso."

"oh-okay" Hinata replied and followed my instructions.

"Alright then, get ready; here we go!" I said and ascended the two of us into the air on a wave of sand.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I feel like an asshole" Naruto said somberly to which I sighed.

"It's not your fault; you didn't know" I affirmed to try and cheer him up.

Once Naruto fully grasped the situation and why Hinata ran off the way she did he really felt terrible about it, he's been moping ever since; even the fact that he was just made a Chunin isn't enough to lift his spirits. Naruto didn't seem very convinced by my attempt to cheer him up and continued looking directly at the ground "maybe if I paid attention to how she acted around me and the things she said I wouldn't have made her cry" Naruto continued beating himself up as we walked.

"Hey, c'mon; look at me" I said and gripped the bottom of Naruto's chin to look at me "you didn't mean to" I reaffirmed, I hated to see Naruto upset.

"Thanks Sakura, but that still doesn't make it okay" he replied, still down on himself.

I frowned at him "it's my fault" I tried to pin the blame on myself "I shouldn't have assumed you told her we were together; or that you knew she liked you" I continued but Naruto's frown stayed fixed to his face.

"And if I wasn't such a dumbass you wouldn't have to worry about what to assume" he replied.

"Oh snap out of it!" I snapped "seriously!, this isn't like you!" I continued.

Naruto shrugged "well, I've never broken someone's heart before; it's not a very nice feeling" he replied and I sighed in exacerbation.

"YOU FRIGGEN BASTARD!" I heard someone scream and my eyes shot out to the direction of the sound and saw Kiba standing across the street staring straight at Naruto "UZUMAKI YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" he screamed and quicker than I could react he charged straight up to Naruto and decked him in the face.

Naruto went skidding onto the ground but was slow in getting up, much slower than he should be as that hit wasn't nearly hard enough to have hurt him much "Okay, I deserved that" Naruto said as he got back up, rubbing the side of his face.

"Oh what?, not gonna fight back?" Kiba mocked "you little bitch" he continued.

I got in his face "alright, you got your cheap shot in, happy?; now leave!" I said angrily.

Kiba laughed "what kind of man are you Uzumaki?, gotta let your woman fight your battles for ya?" he chided. I was fuming, Naruto could so easily kick the ever living crap out of Kiba if he wanted to but he was choosing instead to take his abuse because he felt guilty; it was pissing me off, "then again, with a forehead that big and tits that flat; I have my doubts about your gender" Kiba snarled at me.

Yeah, that was it; it was go time "HELL NO!" I shouted and let fly with a strength-enhanced right hook that nearly connected with Kiba's jaw but he leapt into the air and landed to my flank on all fours, I quickly turned to face him as he leapt towards me, claws bared. He was quick, quicker than me, I couldn't dodge in time but if I could match him blow for blow then I was sure to come out on top so rather than get out of the way I came at him with a straight left aimed for his torso but he nimbly avoided and managed to land a slash across my right shoulder. Naruto came running to break the fight up but I turned to him and shouted "stay out of this!" before turning back to Kiba who had likewise ordered Akamaru to stay back, this time I charged and made sure to watch Kiba's movements, he was quick but dumb and therefore predictable.

I saw right through him, he was leaning ever so slightly to the right meaning he intended to repeat his earlier tactic but I'd be ready for him this time. Sure enough as soon as I was within striking distance he leapt to the right but this time, I spun immediately to intercept and caught him right in the chest with the side of my forearm sending him flying and crashing into a section of wall. Normally I'd stop here but damn it, he made fun of my forehead 'AND' my small breasts; he was dead, I charged towards him as he struggled to get up from the pile of rubble "you're done!" I declared as I leapt into the air and reared my fist back to land a final blow sure to land him in the hospital.

He was still struggling to get up, that last blow hurt him 'this is sure to connect' I thought to myself as I brought my fist down.

"Kaiten!" I heard a rapidly approaching female voice shout and from what seemed to be out of the sky a whirling shield dropped between me and Kiba deflecting my shot. Once the whirling stopped Hinata stood between us, she was panting and looked both tired and surprised.

"That's enough!" I heard an authoritative voice from above, I looked up and there was Gaara looking down on us from atop a platform of sand "were you trying to kill him?" Gaara condemned angrily as he lowered down to the ground, arms folded like always.

I grumbled "if you heard the things he said to me you'd understand why, besides; he started it when he attacked Naruto!" I defended my actions.

Kiba finally got up "is that all you got…bitch?" he taunted and spit a glob of blood onto the ground.

"Kiba! That's enough" another voice interjected as a cloud of bugs quickly washed in and then materialized into Shino "starting fights with fellow Shinobi is enough to get you bumped back down to Genin, if not outright dismissed-"

"Shut it Shino! Naruto made Hinata cry, he deserved that punch in the face" Hinata's face seemed to be turning into a scowl, was she scowling at me? "Maybe you don't care about protecting Hinata's honor Shino, but I do and that Uzumaki broke her heart and-"

"Would you PLEASE stop talking Kiba!" Hinata said in an extremely rare and sudden outburst as she turned sharply to face Kiba. Kiba looked back in utter shock "I'm nineteen years old and I'm going to be twenty at the end of December, I'm a Chunin of Konohagakure and the heiress to the Hyuga clan, stop speaking of me as though I'm a little girl" she said firmly.

We were all utterly shocked, no one knew what to say when suddenly Gaara broke the silence with something equally out of character, he started to laugh, "hahaha! Well said Hinata, well said!" he declared then threw back his head for another hearty laugh. I couldn't for the life of me believe what I was seeing, Hinata had just put Kiba in his place and Gaara was laughing about it; both of these things registered in my mind as outright factual impossibilities, yet here I was bearing witness unto them. I had never before in my life heard Gaara laugh, I don't think anyone had, but I had to admit; it was a rather nice laugh and was serving to diffuse this rather tense situation.

…

'Whoa, was that Hinata?' I thought to myself, the way she took control of this situation was so unlike her. I stayed in the background, ashamed to come closer; I felt so terrible about everything, to me nothing was worse than seeing a friend hurt but this was the first time I was directly responsible, and in such an asinine way.

"Hinata, since when could you use the divine whirl?" Shino asked.

"I…I don't know" Hinata answered, sounding a little confused "I never could before but, when I saw what was about to happen something inside just, awakened."

Shino nodded at Hinata then declared "Kiba!, we're leaving."

Kiba grumbled "…fine" he said and walked off behind Shino leaving myself, Sakura, Hinata and Gaara who was still hovering above.

Hinata looked back at Sakura who looked back at her; you could cut the tension with a knife, Hinata looked different than usual, more intense; almost like she was looking to pick a fight. "So…what'd Kiba do that warranted violence?" Hinata asked.

"He punched Naruto in the face" Sakura answered, a little confused, I don't think she knew where Hinata was going with this and to be honest neither did I. Gaara simply remained hovering above, arms folded; observing.

"Really, was that it?" Hinata let out a chortle; she smoothed her hands over her own forehead while she pretended to move her bangs out of her face then stuck out her chest to exaggerate her well-endowed breasts while running her hands down her sides accentuating her hourglass figure, smiling proudly. Holy crap! Since when was Hinata this damned catty?, this was completely unlike her in every way.

Sakura caught the insult attached to Hinata's body language loud and clear "at least I'm proportional you lumpy-breasted, muscle tone lacking stick insect!" Sakura snapped in retaliation.

"I wouldn't exactly call you proportional thunder thighs" Hinata replied, still cattily.

Sakura 'hrmphed' and put a hand on her hip "you're just jealous I have legs I can show off, not like those chicken bones you have to cover with two layers of pants just so you don't look lopsidedly top-heavy" Sakura replied, turning her own cattiness on.

"C'mon, stop this!" I finally interjected, now getting between them "Hinata, this really isn't like you; what's gotten into you?" I asked.

Hinata turned to me "Naruto, my whole life I've been quiet, submissive and scared; I've let everything in life pass me by, I've always stayed in the background, always convincing myself it was my place, that it was safe there; but now I've let the best thing that could've ever happened to me slip right through my fingers by not acting on it soon enough!" Hinata took my hands. "Naruto, I love you" Hinata said "and…I want you to love me!" she finished.

I didn't know what else to say to that but, "I-I'm sorry Hinata…" I let go of her hands "but I love Sakura" I affirmed and put my hands on her shoulders to make sure I got my point across.

…

It…it wasn't fair, it just…it just wasn't fair! I loved him! "You'll find someone else someday, don't worry; there are plenty of other fish in the sea" Naruto began storm of clichés but they did little to still my growing ire. For once I was upset but didn't feel like crying, I felt so much anger, my whole life everyone has just spurned me, rejected me, told me I wasn't good enough; my father, Neji, my sister and now Naruto too?, everyone I've ever desired affection from has rebuffed me. My fists clenched into balls and my arms dropped to my sides as I lowered my head; I was trembling, trembling in rage "Hinata…" Naruto said in a tone that betrayed his pity, he pitied me; that was all. "It's not so bad, I'm really not all that grea-" I sharply raised my arms and knocked Naruto's hands from my shoulders and screamed the only thing I could think of that conveyed everything I was feeling at that exact moment in time:

"FUCK! YOU!"

The combined shock on Naruto and Sakura's faces was really something to be seen, it was as though they were frozen in time "awe?, did precious, innocent, helpless, little Hinata just swear?" I ranted sarcastically "you can both, BURN IN HELL!" I shrieked and stomped off.

…

I don't think either Naruto or myself had expected 'that' of all things, I was still utterly shocked at Hinata using profanity, let alone dropping an f-bomb "…I feel bad for her" I admitted after an awkward pause.

"I had no idea her feelings were this strong" Naruto stated. Naruto was looking at the ground, still depressed "Naruto I-"

"Sakura" Naruto interrupted me "I…need to go be by myself for a bit" he lamented.

"What?, why?" I'll be honest, I felt a little insulted; threatened even.

"I just, this is all too heavy for me alright?; I need to go think about things" Naruto explained "we've only been dating for, like, a month and already there's a problem, I dunno, maybe this is a sign we should wait a bit longer-"

"don't you dare back out on me now!" I interrupted. "We've already waited another two and a half years, he's not coming back!" I exclaimed, this was about Sasuke, it was 'always' about Sasuke "besides, I'm…I'm not interested in him anymore!" I continued.

"You're just saying that because you don't think you'll ever see him again" Naruto reasoned.

I didn't know what else I could possibly do or say to get this through Naruto's thick, stupid skull; I wasn't interested in Sasuke anymore, I was interested in him "Naruto, if you don't trust that I genuinely love you by now then I don't know what else to tell you."

"Sakura!, I can't have this discussion right now; I just, I just can't do it!, I need to go think for awhile; just, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" Naruto said and began briskly walking off towards his house.

I sighed as I watched him go, I felt so helpless "…what a fool" I heard Gaara say and I turned to look up at him.

"You're still here?" I shouted up at him, I had honestly thought he left "what the hell are you doing up there just watching us! It's creepy!" I continued. Gaara remained silent as he looked down at me "…do you want something?" I asked after a pause.

Gaara let forth a sigh "that Naruto is the clown prince of fools, he knows not how lucky he is" he said "to have two beautiful women competing over him, yet he despairs over what he has not; while others still have none" he continued.

"What are you talking about?" I asked in confusion "you had two girls practically drooling over you the second you came back to life" I pointed out.

"Perhaps if either of them had a brain between their ears it would have then been something to brag about" he retorted, Gaara looked to his side "…no, the only attraction I can hope to garner is that of my station and of my looks, the superficial ogling of schoolgirls and weak-minded fools; truly meaningless by comparison to the love Naruto has achieved" he lamented. I didn't know what to say to that "…he deserves *neither* of you" Gaara concluded bitterly with more than a hint of jealousy, he turned abruptly on his cloud of sand speeding off leaving me alone to ponder my next action.

…

I had so many conflicting emotions…I needed to go off by myself to make sense of them and organize my thoughts; I was really confused about what I wanted, about life. So, Hinata likes me, in fact she loves me and has for like…ten years without me even being aware of it and I've always seen her as dark and strange but today, wow, she showed a side of herself that I *never* knew she had. Thoughts were racing through my mind, I mean, I was kind of attracted to her and if she really feels that strongly about it'd probably make her happy to be with me and then Sakura can get with Sasuke when he comes back and everyone will be happy, I think; I dunno, I'm bad at this kind of thing.

It wasn't long before I was in front of my house, I unlocked the door, locked it behind me and sat on my bed; head in my hands "I just want everyone to be happy" I complained to myself, it was times like this I really wished that pervy sage was still alive; I could sure use some advice right now. Even though I was promoted today, deep down I still feel like a failure; I haven't been able to save Sasuke and I haven't been able to avenge that pervy sage, the only person I've ever managed to save was Gaara and even then if it wasn't for Chiyo I would have failed there too. I guess it's not entirely my fault, Pain never came after me like predicted and no one knows where Akatsuki is but it's just like…damn it!, all that training with the toads for nothing, I've been pent up and frustrated ever since, I dunno; I guess maybe I've been being unfair to Sakura because I'm pissed about that.

But then there's Hinata…Hinata; wow, what a complicated situation, I don't know what to make of it, at all, she got right in my face and cursed me out, I didn't know she had that in her; in a weird way it was kind of sexy that she'd get that worked up over me. Still, I just flat out didn't feel the same way about her that I do about Sakura; ugh, I don't know that to freaking do!, I want to do whatever will make everyone happy but I have no idea what that is, gah! I fell backwards onto my bed and stared at the ceiling…

…

"Kazekage-sama!" Baki declared as everyone turned in unison and promptly kneeled in reverence.

"Arise" I said softly as Baki, the two Chunins and their students complied. "What's our progress?" I asked.

"Great news Gaara-sama!" Matsuri whom was now a Chunin, declared enthusiastically "two out of the three teams made it into the tournament round!" she continued, still enthusiastic.

"Most excellent" I said as I paced before them to look at the lined up Genin when I noticed a peculiarity, there were only eight out of the nine whom entered "where is Akira?" I asked and there was suddenly an aura of dread and sadness as the teams looked at the ground, one clenched their fists in anger.

"…we lost him" Sari, the other Chunin instructor, answered after a pause.

"It was in the forest of death" Baki elaborated grimly "there was a scuffle between my team and the one from the Country of Lightning over one of the scrolls; they came out on the losing end and he died in the ensuing conflict" Baki explained.

"Don't worry though!" Takeshi, one of the Genin of Sari's team; a stout, bronze skinned lad of thirteen with long black hair and dark eyes, known for his fiery temper and fierce loyalty, spoke up "I matched up against the bastard" he growled "I intend to take revenge for Sunagakure" he finished.

"I see" I said and slowly walked up to him "how do you intend to do that?" I asked.

Takeshi seemed surprised "by spilling the bastard's blo-" I smacked the taste out of that kid's mouth with the back of my hand before he finished.

"Don't you even *THINK* about it!" I scolded, much to his surprise. "What will that accomplish?" I continued and Takeshi looked back from the smack in shock "we live in a dark world; death is a reality we as Shinobi face day in and day out, our job isn't glamorous, nor is it pretty and time has only made it uglier and uglier; why do you think that is?" I lectured.

Takeshi looked on in confusion, he clearly wasn't getting it and I sighed "because of pride!" I shouted "because of outdated, backwards and corrupt methods of thinking that are perpetuated by that *exact* attitude, the cycle of hate and revenge that ensnares us all!" I continued.

Takeshi still seemed confused "but…but he killed Akira!" he shouted back at me.

"And do you want Akira's death to be in vain?" I retorted "if not, then during the tournament you not only won't kill him, you will be polite, bow before your match, win, and be courteous in victory" I instructed.

Takeshi looked to the side to disguise his disgust "…yes, Kazekage-sama" he relented.

"Good, then I expect to see a good clean match between you two, the rest of you; as you were!" I commanded and turned to leave.

I felt someone following me "I *said* as you were, Baki."

"Kazekage-sama, you ask too much" he replied, Baki…did not agree with my views, to put it simply.

I sighed "if no one takes a stand against this corrupt system then this Shinobi world which puppets and cycles this spiral of hatred and sells it to the masses will never change" I explained.

"Kazekage-sama, Gaara, I can understand, even appreciate your idealism but it is an impossibility; human beings are…human beings" I walked even more quickly, with a briskness to my step, outright ignoring him now "this utopian vision you have, it will never happen!" he continued.

Seeing as he wasn't going to drop this until I acknowledged his argument I turned sharply to face him "and how do you know this?" I demanded.

"We are Shinobi Gaara; ninjas, assassins…killers" Baki explained "there is no honor in what we do, to entertain the notion is to deceive yourself; we are paid mercenaries, no more, no less."

I stared back at Baki with a hard glare "it wasn't always this way" I replied "there was once honor amongst Shinobi, there was once an ideology."

"And how long did that attitude last?" Baki interrupted, actually shouting at me and sighed sighed before continuing "I mean no disrespect, but you must understand I am only trying to get through to you; this fuzzy-minded idealistic thinking, it has no place in a business like ours" clearly we weren't ever going to see eye to eye on this.

"As you were Baki, get back to your students" I said coldly and turned to leave a second time.

He didn't follow this time which allowed me some time to my own thoughts 'am I wrong for feeling bitter towards Naruto?' I thought to myself 'after all, it is not as though this is any fault of his own' I continued, then let out a sigh 'and it is not as though I am without romantic options' I relented. Indeed, both Matsuri and Sari were romantically interested in me and even in the face of my constant spurning of their advances they haven't been deterred, and yet; I can't help but feel as though it would be wrong of me to accept their advances, neither of them are exactly what I'm looking for so to speak.

Sari is like a stereotypical 'dumb jock' in female form; strong, athletic, aggressive and about as interesting as a wet mop, there is little chemistry between us beyond her one-sided attraction, and Matsuri…well; beyond her obsession with me I find we have precious little in common. Although I do have more chemistry with her than Sari it is nowhere near enough to hold my attention for very long, if I were to embrace her advances I would only end up hurting her in the end once my attention inevitably drifted away from her; and I would not be able to live with myself if I hurt her. They are not the only ones of course, there are plenty of other Kunoichi in Sunagakure whom show similar interests but I feel it is only because I am a young Kage that they lavish such attention on me, I find the thought off-putting.

But then there was that Hyuga lass, that Hinata girl…"Bah!" I shouted aloud "I am Kazekage, such thoughts are beneath my station" I concluded and decided to think no further upon this.

…

"Hya, Kya, Hya, Kya!" she had been at it for a few hours now, just hitting the target log over and over again, apparently trying to work out her frustrations and anger "I'll show them!" she said between shouts "I'll show them all!-"

"This really isn't like you" I interrupted. Hinata turned to face me as I materialized out of the bushes "I really would expect better from you, that was quite immature how you reacted."

"Leave me alone Shino" she said "I'm not in the mood to be lectured, after ten years of being ignored and letting everyone walk all over me I think I'm entitled to having an outburst" Hinata justified herself.

"Did it feel good?" I asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes it did!" she replied.

"I bet it would after a lifetime of bottling everything up; even the most patient of us would be akin to a ticking time-bomb but nevertheless you can't let your anger out all at once in an explosion like that" I continued.

"Well excuse me if I cursed a little!" she retorted, a little snottily actually; very unlike her.

"You are not acting at all like yourself" I pointed out.

"Well, I don't feel 'at all like myself'" she replied.

"Precisely my point" I answered "you are acting nothing like the sweet young girl I have come to call my friend" I explained "in fact do you know who you're acting exactly like?" I asked and Hinata looked back at me "you are acting like your spoiled brat of a sister" I concluded and Hinata looked at the ground ashamedly.

"…I know" she answered, finally beginning to sound like herself again "I just…I thought I had finally figured everything out, I felt stronger and more alive than I ever had before in my life, I felt like anything could be mine if I just reached out and took it. I finally felt ready to tell the world 'move over!, Hinata's coming through' and then it was like I had the door slammed shut right into my face when Naruto refused my advance in favor of Sakura" Hinata explained.

"I see" I began "and what made you feel that way?, what gave you this sudden surge of confidence?" I continued, already suspecting I knew the answer to my question.

"Gaara said some things to me in the forest" she answered after a pause more or less confirming my suspicions on the matter.

"How do you feel about him?" I asked and Hinata paused.

"Well…I uh, I don't know" she answered a little sheepishly, this all seemed quite familiar.

"Do you have feelings for him?" I asked.

Hinata's eyes piqued up "n-no, of course not!, he's the Kazekage" she answered less than convincingly.

'Hrmn' I thought to myself, 'how to make my point?' when suddenly it hit me "good; Gaara is a wicked and dangerous monster after all" I said and I could practically sense Hinata change.

"You don't know anything about him!" she defended, my plan was working.

"I know as much as I need to about that emotionless monster, psychopaths like him have deserve no sympa-" I was interrupted by a kunai missing my cheek by mere centimeters and lodging itself in the tree behind me; Hinata looked on threateningly, a second kunai in hand. "…you don't have feelings for him indeed" I pointed out as Hinata immediately realized what I had done and blushed profusely.

"I-it's not what you think!" Hinata insisted.

"You had a crush on Naruto for ten years, yet you never threw a kunai at someone's head for speaking ill of him" I continued and Hinata made an expression as though I had pointed out something earth-shatteringly significant, she fell silent "your feelings for the Kazekage must be extraordinarily strong" I concluded.

"…they are" Hinata admitted.

"If you are just beginning to get to know him and you already feel this way then your feelings are only going to get stronger" I pointed out.

"I know" Hinata sighed.

"What do you intend to do about this?" I asked.

"No idea" Hinata answered.

"How does the Kazekage feel?" I asked.

"I think he likes me…a lot" Hinata answered "but he's kind of hard to read so I'm not sure" she continued.

"Well, out of everyone here in Konoha I would say that nobody knows him better than Naruto, perhaps you should ask him what he thinks" I suggested.

"I would but…" Hinata trailed off.

"But what?"

"But I kind of just made an ass out of myself, remember?"

"Oh right, that" I recalled what had transpired a few short hours ago.

"Yeah, that" Hinata answered with a frown.

I tried to think of a way to rectify this situation "would you feel more secure about it if you went with Kiba and I tomorrow to apologize?" I inquired.

"…that could work I guess" Hinata answered.

…

"Geez, slow down Sakura!" Tsunade advised "you're hitting that sake harder than when I took you out for your twentieth" she continued as I practically guzzled my thir bottle and slammed down some more ryo on the counter.

"Another round!" I shouted, ignoring Tsunade's advice.

"You keep that up and you're gonna end up an alckie like me someday" Tsunade chided.

"I had a bad day" I said.

"Oh, why's that" Tsunade asked.

"Because of Naruto's stupidity!" I yelled and Tsunade laughed "things were going fine until that little bitch opened her mouth" I continued.

"I heard about that" Tsunade commented, I was surprised she wasn't chewing me out for bloodying Kiba up "didn't Naruto choose you over her though?"

"I don't know, he said that but now he's being all indecisive; he said he thinks we should've waited longer, that this was a bad omen or something" I whined.

The bartender put down my fourth bottle and I quickly uncorked it and started chugging away "do you love him?" Tsunade asked and I stopped mid chug to ponder the question, but it didn't take me long to have my answer.

"…yes" I said and felt myself getting teary eyed "he still thinks I have feelings for Sasuke though, he keeps insisting he feels bad and keeps wanting to wait for Sasuke to come back; he doesn't think I'm happy with him, he thinks I'm only dating him because I don't think I'll ever see Sasuke again but it's not true!" I continued, my eyes watering slightly.

I chugged the rest of my bottle and slammed it down "then what in the hell are you doing here getting trashed?" Tsunade exclaimed "if that's truly how you feel, go to him!; let him know that he's the only man for you before he gets any other ideas in his head!" Tsunade continued.

"But, he said he wanted to be alone-"

"Men say stupid things all the time!, especially men like Naruto!" Tsunade interrupted.

"But, it's late and I'm a little-"

"It doesn't matter!" Tsunade interrupted me again "bang on his door and tell him everything you just told me, now move it!" Tsunade ordered and pointed at the door.

"A-alright, if you're sure this is a good idea-"

"I'm positive, Naruto is as stubborn and hard-headed as they come, the only way he'll accept this is if you drill it into his skull, and right now you're inhibitions are kinda lacking which should make it all the easier for you" Tsunade reasoned.

I rose from my seat and gave Tsunade a nod "thank you, Tsunade-sama."

"Stop wasting time!" Tsunade yelled "go, go, go!" she continued and practically shoved me out of the bar towards Naruto's house.

…

A loud banging on my door awoke me from my nap "nyughh…" I whined as I slowly got out of bed, the banging only intensified "alright, alright" I relented and slowly made my way over to the door, as I swung it open a figure fell towards me. "Uwa?" I exclaimed in shock as Sakura stumbled forward into my arms.

"Naruto!" she exclaimed and straightened herself.

"Sakura, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, couldn't be better" she replied, I could smell the sake on her breath.

"Sakura, didn't I tell you I needed time to myself today" I reminded her as she closed the door behind her, apparently ignoring me "Sakura-"

"Shut up" she interrupted me with a shake of her head "just…shut up" Sakura took a deep breath "Naruto I…" Sakura paused then began to get teary eyed as she continued "I love you Naruto, you mean the world to me; and I can't bear the thought of being without you" she lost her footing and drunkenly stumbled forward, catching herself on me. "The thought that you don't think I love you tears me up inside, I love you Naruto, in the years we've spent together I've learned I love you more than anything, I don't want to be in the arms of anyone else, and, in the past month of being this much closer to you…I, I can't go back to being any further away from you than this now, I just can't."

I blinked "but what about Sasu-"

"FUCK THAT EMO GIT!" Sakura practically screamed before I could even finish my sentence and I stared back in utter shock, completely aghast at what she had just said.

"You're the only man for me, and I know no one else could ever make you as happy as I can" she continued.

I gulped, I had never seen Sakura like this before, suddenly she started outright bawling, she hugged me tight "…please don't break up with me because you want to wait, I don't want to wait any longer, I want this now, I can't go back, I can't let go, I need you, I-" I cut her off with a kiss. The kiss was slow, deep, and passionate; I could feel her melt into me and in that moment I think we had our answer; the time for our love was now, no later and no sooner.

Sakura, somewhat drunkenly, stumbled forward into the kiss forcing me to pedal backwards until the backs of my ankles hit the edge of my bed, she kept pushing however forcing me to sit down, apparently she wasn't expecting that and tripped forward, landing on top of me and knocking me to my back, laughing as we went. "Ooops!, I'm sorry; haha" Sakura giggled "I'm a little tipsy."

"I noticed" I commented, she rested her head on my chest, curling up as though she intended to go to sleep, I scooted back to rest my head on my pillow, Sakura remained firmly lodged on top of me.

"Mmmmn" she purred and shifted as though she was intending to settle into me for a good night's sleep.

"what am I, a mattress?" I joked.

"No, you're my Naruto-bear" she replied as she draped her arms around me, one resting beside my neck, the other hand stroking through my hair.

I rested one hand on the small of her back while my other stroked her hair "I really could fall asleep like this" Sakura commented.

"So could I" I replied as Sakura reached over the bed to grab my blanket and wrap it over the two of us scooting herself forward in the process to rest her head right in the crook of my neck. I could feel her warm breath travel along the side of my neck to graze the bottom of my ear, she started kissing me again, along the same path her breath had just followed "I love you" she whispered "my sexy man" she continued and planted another kiss right on my mouth.

Sakura broke away from the kiss and stared lovingly into my eyes, our noses practically touching "I love you too" I moaned, I'll be honest; I was pretty tuned on by this point when suddenly a wicked grin crossed Sakura's face and she suddenly slammed her hands down onto my shoulders.

"Sakura, what're you-" I said but she cut me off with a kiss, it was different this time; deeper, wilder, more aggressive; I tried to move my arms but she had them securely pinned with her strength. Sakura broke off the kiss and stared down at me, her expression had completely changed, she sat up onto me, straddling my chest, hands still flat against my shoulders; I felt utterly overwhelmed by her, but…in a good way; a *very* good way.

"You're mine for the night" she purred huskily and started pulling her shirt off…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

_I swear if Shikamaru didn't show up I'd have died of boredom; having to take off from active duty suuuuuucks!…although I don't care if I never see another Shogi board again in my life after losing to Shikamaru TWELVE TIMES IN A ROW! I wanted to strangle him. Out of sheer frustration I've been teaching him how to play chess which is pretty similar to Shogi but with quite a few differences that give it a pretty steep learning curve when you switch over; I've managed to beat him the first few times we've played…we'll see how long *that* lasts though; haha._

_This is all so damned awkward, then again our whole relationship was 'awkward' if you can even call it that; we'd just hook up whenever I got sent over to Konoha on my diplomatic envoys, hang out with his friends, screw, walk around town, go out to eat, screw, talk, screw, occasionally see his family; and did I mention screw?_

_Then when my time was up, I'd say 'see ya later' and just head on back to Sunagakure, all that crap worked out of my system until the next time I saw him. I guess you could say we were in a long distance relationship but it was never official or anything, hell, Shikamaru introduced me to his folks as his 'friend', Choji and Ino knew we were messing around but I think they always figured we were just 'friends with benefits'._

_I'll be honest though, having Shikamaru around is nice…real nice; I like having someone around who I can spend time with, I'm usually totally by myself over here and having him around has been making me realize that a big part of what was keeping me going while I was here was the knowledge that I'd see him again. Kankuro hasn't stopped by once to see how I'm doing, I think he's still pissed off at me over me getting knocked up, kinda hard to blame him since I'm pissed off at myself for it too…but it'd be nice if he showed that he cared._

_Well, anyways it's late and I need to get to bed; bye diary, talk to you later._

_Temari._

I didn't sleep last night but to be honest I rarely slept, even with the Shukaku gone I suffered from insomnia of a sort, I'll go nights without sleeping until I am literally too exhausted to move and pass out as a result…and then I have nightmares; for me sleep is not a pleasant experience, I stave it off for as long as possible. I usually spend the time keeping myself busy with matters of officiating over Sunagakure and other associated Kage business, or tending to my cacti or sometimes reading but this night I found myself lost in deep thought as I could not for the damned life of me get that Hinata girl out of my mind; it was maddening.

It would seem my promise to myself earlier that I would think no more on this was an empty gesture as it was now morning and I had done nothing but ponder over her for the past eight hours; well, her and Uzumaki. I grumbled to myself, at times it seemed to me as though I couldn't decide whether Naruto was one of my closest friends and allies or simply an enemy I chose to keep close for my own purposes; I couldn't lie to myself, deep down I still resented him…he was given everything and I nothing.

Even with nothing I've managed to excel beyond him, he had a head start in life but I hit the ground running and left him in my dust; I became the youngest Kazekage in history, my people have immortalized me as a martyr, I command the respect and admiration of my entire village…and I did it all entirely on my own. But yet I still envy him; I envy his bonds, I envy that he has people who love him for 'him' not just because he is a Kage, I envy that he hasn't had to come this far on his own, I envy that he got to have father figures, even if his closest one died, I envy his way with people, I envy his-

"Wahhh-wahh-WAH!" went the voice in my head.

I've had this little voice ever since the Shukaku was removed from me, I have two main theories as to why; the first that it is the result of some strange affect of having a tailed beast removed, much like me unexplainably retaining my ability to manipulate sand, perhaps caused by leftovers of the Shukaku's psyche that were imprinted on my unconscious. The second theory I came up with is that because I am so used to having a voice in my head from the Shukaku being there in the first place from the moment of my birth that I unconsciously created a new one to replace it with once the Shuaku's was gone in order to cope; in any event it comes and goes, never being obtrusive.

"Gaara, you convoluted bastard!" it shouted from within my mind "always bitching and moaning about what you don't have, while remaining blind to what you do" it continued.

I scoffed "he has everything, and I nothing" I complained in response, and the voice laughed.

"Okay then, list them off" the voice challenged.

"People who love him" I retorted.

"You have your siblings" it countered

"Sibling" I corrected "that negligent whore is no sister of mine" I concluded.

"Those are some nasty words-"

"But true words!, where was she when Akatsuki kidnapped me?, she practically left me for dead and yet had the audacity to behave as though she hadn't following my resurrection" I concluded bitterly.

"You're still holding onto that, huh?" the voice inquired.

"It's not just that!, she was the oldest and the closest thing I had to a female role model yet all she had for me were viscous, cruel glares and later; fear, that woman never gave a damn about me, at least Kankuro showed he gave a damn on occasion."

"Okay fine, if you're going to nitpick like that then let's focus on Kankuro, he clearly loves you dearly as a brother."

That I couldn't argue with "true" I relented.

"Okay, so that's one thing to cross off the list, what else?"

I sighed "…women" I stated.

The voice cackled madly "are you serious?" it ranted "you have got to be kidding, you have practically your entire village fawning over you."

"Because I am Kazekage" I retorted "none of them actually like me for 'me' they like the idea of me" I concluded.

"Do you think Naruto's romantic aspirations started off perfectly?, they grew over time; I'm sure there has to be 'one' out of your countless admirers you'd consider dating and allowing to get to know you better" the voice in my head continued to argue. "Matsuri?"

"We've been over this; she's too childlike and we haven't enough in common."

"Sari?"

"She's a dullard and would get on my nerves too easily."

"What about that older Jonin Kunoichi who likes you?, the one in her late 20s; she's more mature than either of them."

"Her personality is too chipper, I find it irritating."

"Picky, picky" the voice commented "but even still, then why are you envious of Naruto for having women if you have all the women you could possibly pick from but are just too choosey? does he have something specifically that you want?" the voice asked. I didn't have an answer to that "you're jealous over Hinata aren't you?"

"Don't be absurd!" a sudden sharp knock at my door interrupted the conversation and the voice disappeared back into the recesses of my mind.

"Kazekage-sama?" a feminine voice inquired from the other end and knocked a second time.

"Yes-yes, I'm coming!" I answered and rose from my armrest to walk towards the door, I opened it and standing there was Shizune, the Hokage's assistant "what do you want?" I inquired.

"Hokage-sama Tsunade wishes to request your presence" she answered.

"The opening ceremony for the first matches of the Chunin exam tournament are to be held this afternoon; can't it wait until we see each other then?" I replied.

"She wishes to invite you to an informal talk before the fact, Kazekage-sama Gaara" she answered.

"Out of the question, I'm very busy" a blatant lie on my part but spending time with Tsunade didn't rank high on my to-do list.

Shizune sighed "she informed me that if you refused I was to remind you that you owe her a favor for earlier" she replied.

I 'hrmphed' "…fine."

"Most excellent!, if you'll just follow me this way Kazekage-sama."

"Gaara will do just fine" I answered gruffly.

Shizune lead me out of the building and down the streets of Konoha "if I may say so, Kaze-I mean Gaara, it is much unlike past Kazekages that you travel without an entourage and carriage, or even bodyguards, you are much unlike your father" Shizune made small talk.

"I make it a point to distance myself from the reign of my father as I have no need for the careless displays of wealth and authority which marked my predecessors, I eschew bodyguards unless absolutely necessary, I am utilitarian by nature" I answered.

Shizune didn't appear to know what to make of my answer "…I see" she said after a pause.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked somewhat demandingly.

"It's a favorite spot of Tsunade-sama" she answered.

I sighed "…is it a bar?" I asked.

Shizune paused before answering "…of sorts" she said.

I groaned "should've known."

As we walked I looked around Konoha, it was much bigger than Sunagakure in terms of square feet and somewhat less congested, the population was much greater although a large portion of that population were non-Shinobi residents whom owned and operated local businesses. Comparatively speaking there were hardly any non-Shinobi residents in Sunagakure with much less commerce and only a small few businesses, all the produce had to be bought and brought in from one of the many neighboring desert oasis settlements to boot. "It's more like a thriving community than a hidden village in a lot of ways, isn't it?" I commented as we walked.

Shizune nodded "yes, our village's community nature is something we take a substantial amount of pride in" she answered. "I've never been to Sunagakure myself, is it much different there?" Shizune asked.

"More formal" I replied "there are no familial clans for one thing, and there's a more linear hierarchy; it's organized more along the lines of a traditional military academy and less like a village" I answered.

Shizune seemed puzzled "how do your Shinobi organize if not by clan lines?"she asked.

"By class." I answered

"Class?"

"Your combat-type assigned one-third of the way into your training as a Genin, the students are then split up into separate academies each geared towards their respective classes, then, depending on their aptitude they may be divided further into various subclasses and receive more specialized training; advanced training is handled by the academy, not by your family or clan" I explained

"Sounds very centralized" Shizune commented.

"It is, far more so than here in Konoha."

"But I thought Sunagakure had adopted Konoha's training practices and academic system?" Shizune inquired.

"Seeing as how abysmally our Shinobi preformed when I was captured by Akatsuki, upon my return I declared the implementation a failure and discontinued it, what works in Konoha clearly does not work for Suna" I answered "in my lands it is the state that holds power, not familial clans; tradition is eschewed in favor of what is efficient" I concluded defensively.

"Sounds kind of Socialist" Shizune commented.

"You say that as though it is a bad thing" I replied and Shizune shrugged.

"I just don't know if I could live in a society where the state holds that much power" she answered.

I hrmphed "I don't know if I could live in a society where I was bound by silly clannish traditions, outdated philosophical models, backward modes of thinking and abhorrent inefficiencies inherent in its organizational structure" I replied as though I was being attacked, but the state of Sunagakure is a touchy subject for me as I have invested much in redesigning it.

Shizune seemed offended by my words but she shut up, much to my delight as I had grown weary of conversing with her; we walked for a few more minutes before she pointed towards an adjacent building "this is the place" she said.

"finally" I replied gruffly, lo and behold; it was a crowded bar just as I expected. "I'll just get this over with quickly" I muttered under my breath as I entered.

"Oie!, Gaara-kun!" I heard Tsunade shout over at me as soon as I came through the front of the place "c'mere!" she called over from a table.

"Well, what're ya waiting for an invitation?, sit down!; we're basically equals" Tsunade insisted, I sighed and after taking my gourd off my back and laying it against the side of my seat I sat rather stiffly, my lack of comfort with and general disapproval of our surroundings showing through my body language.

I eyed the open bottle of sake in front of Tsunade "I see you've started early" I snarked and Tsunade laughed.

"Don't think you're getting out of here without drinking something Gaara-kun" she teased "the Chunin exams are considered a time of festival here in Konoha" she continued with a smirk.

"I thought it was customary to drink the night *before* the tournament" I pointed out.

"That extends into the following morning" Tsunade reasoned "…for some of us at least" she added jokingly with a laugh; I retained my stoic expression.

"Also, I'd like to point out that the legal drinking age in the Land of Fire is twenty, I'm still nineteen."

"Yeah, but you've drank alcohol before right?, I mean there's no drinking age over in the Land of Wind and besides, you're the Kazekage, no one's gonna say anything-"

"And" I interrupted "I *hate* sake."

"Oh right" Tsunade commented "they drink beer where you're from don't they?" she shrugged "then, do you like beer?" she asked.

"…yes" I gave a delayed response.

"Then what's the problem?, they serve beer here too."

I sighed "how to put this politely…" I began "the beer they make here in the Land of Fire is awful, I wouldn't serve it to my brother's cat" I concluded.

Tsunade groaned "you're a picky little bastard, then what here 'will' you drink?" she asked in exacerbation.

I shrugged "I don't suppose this is the type of establishment that has a wine list?" I asked, fully expecting the answer 'no.'

"Actually, as a matter of fact I believe they do" Tsunade answered to my surprise.

"Alright then, let me take a look at it" I replied skeptically.

…

I let out a yawn and stretched my arms out to be suddenly startled at the presence of another in bed with me, I turned sharply to gaze upon Naruto's passed out, snoring face "oh…that's right" I said aloud "I spent the night here" I recollected fuzzily. I sighed at Naruto's sleeping form "…well, I guess if things weren't serious before they certainly are now" I commented to myself, it was at once a relieving and frightening though, I had wanted this, and yet the thought of how 'heavy' this may make things was disconcerting; I didn't want things to change between us. Still, at the same time I felt so safe with him, so safe at this level of intimacy and so very much in love with him even watching him now, with that big doofy grin and snoring like a chainsaw; I couldn't help but feel my heart warm inside.

I leaned over to him and stroked my hand over his face, feeling his features, across his brow, down his cute and slender nose, across to his big adorable cheeks and finally cupping my hand against the side of his broad, masculine chin; he was so handsome.

"Nyughh…S-Sakura" Naruto mumbled before he resumed his snoring when suddenly there was a knock at Naruto's door .

'Crap!' I suddenly thought to myself, I didn't count on this, I certainly didn't want people to discover me here; I'd hoped to keep this discreet, besides I looked a mess, it'd be embarrassing. The knocking resumed, louder this time, I sat up and turned to Naruto "wake up, wake up" I whispered frantically as I shook him by the shoulder, hoping for him to go an answer the door and get rid of whoever was there in the hopes of not being noticed but the only reaction it prompted was more garbled mumbling mixed with snores.

Suddenly the doorknob began turning 'oh shit that's right! I didn't lock the door!' I panicked as the door cracked open "oie Naruto, you home?" I heard Kiba's voice "your door was unlocked and I wanted to apolo-" he stopped mid-sentence as he strode in and saw me sitting in Naruto's bed. I was holding the covers under my neck to cover myself, I was naked after all, there was very little in the way of guesswork that needed to be done to piece together why I was here.

Ii-is he home?" I heard Hinata stutter from behind as Kiba turned towards her, in something of a panic, as Hinata entered.

Hinata saw me immediately and her expression darkened much like it had yesterday when Naruto rebuffed her "…we'll come back later" she said lowly, then with a sharp turn abruptly left, Kiba however stayed behind with a smart-assed, wry smirk plastered to his face.

Kiba snickered "so, is he like; dead or something?"

"GET OUT!" I shouted back at him and he let out a cackle as he turned and followed Hinata out, closing the door behind him. I shot up out of the bed and quickly locked the door behind them in order to prevent another embarrassing incident as with an annoyed groan I began collecting my clothes which were strung out all around the small house.

…

Gaara tipped the glass back to his lips and took a drink from the crimson liquid within "does it meet with your satisfaction, Kazekage-sama?" the owner asked eagerly, wringing his hands as Gaara had ordered the most expensive bottle on their list.

"Yes, indeed it does" he replied "now that was one thousand, four hundred ryo for the bottle; yes?" the owner nodded feverishly.

"Yes, yes; roughly one hundred fifty in your native currency if I'm not mistaken" he replied as Gaara laid out the money for the bottle.

"You are correct" Gaara answered as he finished shelling out the ryo "there you are, one thousand four hundred" Gaara stated and handed the cash over as the owner grinned wide.

"Excellent, excellent; thank you so very much for your patronage Kazekage-sama, it is an honor to have been of service" he concluded with a bow.

"It's fine, and simply calling me Gaara would have sufficed."

The owner didn't seem to notice Gaara's last words as he walked back to the front counting the rou in his hand "you're nuts, you know that?; paying that much for booze" I commented.

"You get what you pay for" Gaara retorted "not all of us are contented to drink swill" he continued with more than a hint of condescension.

"I'm perfectly fine with my 'swill' thank you very much" I replied and Gaara gave a snort.

"Philistine" he joked or at least I think he was joking, it was hard to tell if Gaara was joking or being legitimately insulting. Over the past two and a half years of working with the new Kazekage I had learned that despite his appearances to the contrary Gaara indeed does possess a sense of humor; it's just extremely dry and tends to be a bit mean.

"There aren't many people who can get away with talking to me like that, Gaara-kun" I pointed out.

"Would you cut it out with that Gaara-'kun' crap" Gaara replied in annoyance.

"What's the problem?, I thought you hated formality" I answered in confusion.

"I hate *pretensions*" Gaara clarified "and the faux affection you're displaying towards me would certainly count as a pretension, we're not on nearly a friendly enough basis for you to refer to me as Gaara-kun, that, and it would imply that I am your lesser or that you are somehow my elder" he continued.

I had to laugh at that one "oh come on!, you may be Kazekage but you're still a kid, you're what?, barely over a third my age?; it's not an insult, just a fact, and I like ya kid; I don't see the problem with calling you Gaara-kun, I could be your grandmother!"

Gaara seemed moderately offended at my calling him a kid "like it or not Tsunade, I am Kazekage; and you *will* show me the respect I am due!" he retorted.

I laughed "y'know; you're kinda cute when you're mad Gaara-kun, but fine, if it's really that much of an issue for you I'll stop it with the 'kun' and just call you Gaara."

Thank you" Gaara said with a sigh of exacerbation before taking another drink of his wine.

He was a peculiar one this Gaara; eccentric, stuffy, fussy, demanding, a little spiteful and lacking in certain, if not most, social graces but it took a mere look into his eyes to realize that this kid was wise *FAR* beyond his years, he carried himself like someone multiple times his age. "I've seen a lot of things in my day but you Gaara, you're quite the anomaly" I pointed out as Gaara tipped back his glass for another drink "you're nineteen years old, barely even old enough to have stubble above your lip" I continued as Gaara lowered his glass and refilled it from the bottle. He piqued a brow "and you've already seen as much as I have, the lowest lows of despair, the highest highs of redemption; you've seen more than your peers will ever see for years to come, or perhaps ever will" I continued and Gaara took another drink, his eyes locked into a hard stare.

"…perhaps you've seen even more than myself, more than all of us" I said after a pause, it was true, Gaara had seen something none of us have ever seen, the root of every fear, the pale companion that follows us all, the fear of what took my loved ones from me; in a way, my greatest fear. "Gaara" I said blankly "…what's it like?" I asked.

Gaara blinked "pardon?"

I gulped, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer to what I was about to inquire "…what's it like to die?" I asked and the entire bar fell silent, I could feel the transfixed stares from many of the patrons. Gaara was lifting his glass to his mouth when I asked and stopped dead in his drinking motion, he closed his eyes and slowly lowered the glass to the table.

"You know" he stated "it's been nearly three years and you're the first person to ever flat out just ask" Gaara continued now smirking a wry grin, he popped his eyes open "well then!" he said at a slightly raised volume, as though he was addressing this to the entire bar "it's a strange experience" Gaara said with a shrug and raised his glass as if in mock toast and took a big sip.

"…that's it?" I inquired.

"That's it!" Gaara replied.

"Oh come on!" I shouted, getting angry "I asked you an important question!, you have to give me more than just 'it's strange'" I continued.

"Come now" Gaara replied "do you really want me to spoil one of the biggest mysteries of life?" he continued.

"It's…not that" I began and trailed off "just, tell me one thing; will I see my deceased loved ones again? Will, I see my baby brother Nawaki again, or my lover Dan?; that's *all* I want to know, just, tell me if I'll ever get to see them again, please?, that's it" I elaborated on my question, somewhat desperately.

Gaara sighed "…I can't tell you that" he answered.

Enraged at that response I sat up from my seat and grabbed him by the cuffs of his robe "WHY NOT?" I demanded.

"Because I don't know the answer!" Gaara snapped back in response.

My grip trembled "that's impossible…how can you not know?" I shouted "you died didn't you?" I continued.

"It's not as simple as that!" Gaara retorted "as I said it was all…very strange, to be honest; I don't even really know what happened!, when you die perception doesn't work anything like how it does when you're alive" he continued.

"Explain!" I demanded.

"If you'd kindly let go of me, I was about to do just that" Gaara practically hissed back at me and I released him from my grip "now then" Gaara began as he retook his seat "this is what I experienced that fateful day Akatsuki ripped my soul out to retrieve the Shukaku locked within and life left my body…"


	5. Chapter 5

I knew the end was near, the last of my life-essence, of what one could call a 'soul', was about to leave me and I could feel the last vestiges of my consciousness slip from my mind. As the great eye above me fully opened I knew the extraction was complete, I felt myself falling as the shadowy robed figures surrounding me became blurry lines and the awe-inspiring Rinnegan faded, becoming two blue dots; growing dimmer and dimmer until they vanished entirely. All went black and a feeling of dread rushed over me, a hollow emptiness filled my head followed by a sensation of coldness that started at my feet and crept its way up until it was as though all heat had left my body and then, suddenly, all was awash white.

I surmised that this was the moment between life and death, a space where one is not quite either and I found myself lost in philosophical contemplation; I pondered my existence, if my life had truly held meaning, if I had become 'necessary' to anyone's existence. I began pondering deeper, asking myself 'what is Gaara?, what is my identity?, what makes my face the face of Gaara?' and as I pondered the question I felt myself 'removed' from myself, I am aware that doesn't make too much sense but that is the closest I can come to explaining it. Further and further I drifted from myself until 'Gaara' was nothing more than a simple feeling, the sense that differentiated 'self' and 'not-self' faded and the two sensations merged into a singularity entirely unlike the sum of its parts in form or purpose.

From here it becomes difficult to describe as all senses merged in a similar fashion, perception of reality and the modes of perceiving that reality shifted into something so totally unlike what we experience that it is difficult to find words to explain it. I don't even know if it's appropriate for me to be calling the perceptions my own anymore as I'm not even entirely sure if I existed beyond this point as 'Gaara' was no longer the end and be all of my center of perception and in that sense I don't even know if it's appropriate to call it 'my' center of perception. 'Gaara' still existed but as nothing more than a feeling, a name, an idea and not as a self or an individual as there was no longer any sort of divide separating such concepts; to put it simply, past this point I wasn't 'me' anymore, or rather I was me but not only the me you see sitting before you.

…

I tried to keep my composure but I felt so much welling up inside, so much gut-wrenching, horrid turmoil, I thought I could never be more upset than when I saw Sakura and Naruto kiss but seeing them like…that…I, I felt like I was going to throw up. "Hinata!" Kiba called after me for the umpteenth time as I continued stomping ahead aimlessly, I had no idea where I was going in particular, just that I was walking away, just away; with no idea where away to. I had watched Naruto from afar for so long, he alone gave me the strength to keep going, he alone inspired the faith in me to keep trying, to keep pressing forward, to keep striving on in the face of adversity and never give up on myself; he inspired my nindo, my ninja way…he…he was everything to me.

To see him in the arms of another woman like that, no, in bed with her…to…to imagine what they must've been doing it was…"hyurhk!" I sounded as I felt my stomach twist up into knots, I really felt like I was gonna puke, tears started welling up under my eyes. Then, in a flash, I felt something inside, a feeling of sorts that burned from within overshadowing all else; it could be summarized in a single word 'no', no to…practically everything, everything around me, everything I was, everything I was feeling; it was like an inner voice screaming for raw defiance. I felt my resolve steel itself, held back my tears and I summoned up the strength of will to ignore the knots in my stomach, I took a deep breath and braced myself against a nearby tree, starting into the ground, panting in emotional and psychological exhaustion.

I was tired of playing second fiddle to everyone else, always being the weaker one, the one who needs protecting, the one who's ignored, the one who's pitied; the tragic poet keeping it all inside forevermore writing her soul out into lines never to be read, I wanted so badly to assert myself for once in my life, to reach out and take what I wanted, but it was too late.

"…Hinata, are you okay?" Kiba asked.

"Yes I'm fine!" I snapped back at him.

"Do not forget our original purpose, Hinata" Shino said stoically "we were here to apologize for yesterday's indiscretion on your part" he continued.

"Yeah well, we were expecting to run into Uzumaki; not the forehead monster" Kiba retorted.

"No…" I interjected "Shino's right" I continued as I regained my composure "I'll see him on my own time though" I continued as I straightened myself "…sorry for snapping Kiba" I apologized.

Kiba shrugged "it's fine" he replied "I probably wouldn't have reacted nearly as well as you did if I were in your shoes."

"Shino, I'll take care of this all some other time; I'm gonna go off to take a walk by myself for awhile" I said with a gentle sigh.

"As you wish" Shino said in his usual monotone.

I turned and walked back towards the village center and made a right onto the crowded main street looking to blend in and not be noticed so I could think in peace.

…

"So…then there's life after death!" one of the Shinobi interrupted my story, by now the whole damned bar had formed a semi-circle around me and Tsunade; practically hanging on my every word as I told my story.

I sighed "if you wish to interpret it like that I can't stop you; but I would like to point out that the fact that I eventually came back to life adds the possibility that this was all some sort of fever dream taken from my unconscious mind and integrated during my states of near-death."

The Shinobi blinked "you don't actually believe *that* though, do you?"

I shrugged and took a drink from my wine "I am merely weighing out possibilities in a pragmatic fashion without committing myself to any one belief in particular; truth be told I don't know what to believe, the entire experience provided more in the way of new questions than actual answers to anything."

"So let me get this straight" Tsunade began "you died, pondered your existence for awhile until you entered some kind of transcendental state where your personality and ego basically become a drop in a great cosmic bucket; then what happened?" she demanded.

"Then I came back to life" I answered "nothing else to tell really" I finished and Tsunade let out a disappointed sigh "was my answer not to your satisfaction?" I inquired.

"…so I guess the answer to my question is a no then" she lamented and let out another sigh.

I felt a little bad for her and let out a sigh of my own "well…not necessarily" I began.

Tsunade's eyes piqued up "eh?"

"I didn't have any deceased love ones *to* reunite with; perhaps my experience would have been different had I any" I reasoned.

Tsunade gave me a confused look "what about your parents?" Tsunade asked.

I let out a snarky laugh, as the suggestion that my parents were loved ones amused my greatly "I'd have ended up killing that old bastard myself eventually if Orochimaru never had; he was slime, I'm ashamed to admit I share a Y chromosome with him which is unfortunately impossible to deny as we looked fairly identical" I answered to some shocked stares. "Now, as for my mother; well, she wasn't exactly impregnated with me of her own will and my birth is the reason she died, plus, she had hoped I'd be born to exact vengeance on the village for her and now I'm its leader, ironically enough. All that considered I strongly doubt she'd want to see me very much, not that I'd have much to say to her anyway aside from a hollow 'sorry you're dead because of me'" I explained to receive some more shocked stares, truth be told there was a part of me that rather enjoyed quietly shocking people.

"…any grandparents?" Tsunade asked after a short pause.

"All died during the Second Great Shinobi War, never knew them" I answered.

"Extended family?"

I paused briefly at this question before answering "…no" I lied "both of my parents were only-childs" I affirmed the lie. I downed the rest of my glass and poured out the last of the bottle's contents.

...

"I don't care about you?" Kankuro replied in shock at Temari's accusation as I sat over to the side, far too troublesome a situation to get myself involved in methinks, besides, he's *her* brother.

"Yeah, that's right" Temari affirmed.

"*I* don't care about *you*?" Kankuro repeated with added emphasis.

Temari's resolve stiffened "ever since I came back you haven't shown even an ounce of concern or care in the least abou-"

Kankuro cut Temari off "I don't care about you" he repeated, then continued with a shake of his head and low chuckle "the fact that you fail to appreciate the sheer irony of you accusing anyone of not caring just makes it funnier."

Temari made an annoyed grunt "What are you-"

"You've never given a flying fuck about *anyone* in your entire life Temari, not me, not Gaara, not this village; no one, you accusing me of not caring would be an awesome joke if it wasn't for the fact that you're actually serious" Kankuro accused.

Temari's eyes narrowed and her lips curled into a frown "you know *damn* well that I've always car-"

"Plffft-BWAHAHAHAHA!" Kankuro laughed in her face, interrupting "yeah, like the time you rescued Gaara, oh wait, that's right you only *promised* you'd rescue Gaara, then you dicked off to some abandoned fort somewhere."

Temari was now getting visibly angry "I didn't have a choice!" she shouted "it was an order!"

"Yeah, an order you made only the bare minimal effort in challenging; admit it, you took the first opportunity you had to pawn your promise and responsibilities onto someone else, and it was an old fucking lady at that!" Kankuro continued his viscous verbal attack.

Temari groaned in a combination of aggravation and frustration "listen-"

"And of course!" Kankuro interrupted again, not even giving the pretense that he was listening or cared what Temari had to say "things only got rolling to get our asses moving and try to save Gaara once *I* got out of the hospital; *I* had to do all the leg work, *I* had to go rattle the cages, *I* had to appeal to the council AND ALL AFTER NEARLY FUCKING DYING!" Now it was Kankuro whom was visibly the angrier of the two "if I could have manged all that, *ALL* that in a single day, just after getting out of the hospital no less, then you could have easily gotten shit together on your own to head out after Gaara" he condemned.

"But you didn't, and do you know why Temari?; because you are a fucking sociopath, you were *always* a sociopath" Kankuro snarled, then laughed "and what kills me the most, what absolutely *slays* me, is that once I was finished trying to carry out your promise for you and got a squad together, we arrived to find everything already done by Konoha. Chiyo was dead and we all looked like a bunch of useless morons, and what's the first thing you do?; act like a pompous bitch of course, as though you had *ANY* right to criticize anyone for anything at that moment."

Temari had been rendered completely silent by Kankuro's sudden verbal attack, she simply stared back at him blankly, her mouth slightly agape as Kankuro snorted rudely before continuing "then you run up to Gaara and stand between him and the crowd, trying to portray this whole 'protective big sister' thing when me and Gaara both know it's all a bullshit act. A bullshit act that is pathetically transparent not least of which because you didn't care enough to be bothered to expend more than the most minimal of efforts to try and rescue him in the first place!" Kankuro shouted, gesturing wildly with his hands as he did. Kankuro suddenly seemed to calm himself before shaking his head in apparent disappointment and continuing coldly "I lost the last ounce of respect I ever had for you that day Temari, not that there was much left anyway but still, you're fucking scum as far as I'm concerned" his words seemed to cut through Temari like a knife.

"...just like our mother was" Kankuro added lowly with a scowl before letting out a contemptuous 'pfeh' "and this is just one example" Kankuro continued "JUST ONE!" he emphasized "I have countless more and I could go on, oh, believe you me Temari I could *GO* *ON* " he growled. Kankuro 'hrmphed' "but I won't" he added "there's really no point; you were a shitty sister and you're a shitty human bei-"

"Alright that's enough!" I finally interjected, against my better judgment I will admit but I simply couldn't stand to hear another word.

Kankuro turned to face me dubiously and gave a short 'heh' before speaking "why don't you butt out of this Shikamaru, not only do you not have a clue about any of this but it ain't your business either."

"It is my business as long as you continue to-"

"Shikamaru" Temari interrupted me meekly, her gaze now pointed towards the ground, she shook her head slightly before continuing "stop" she said "...just...stop" she continued and heeding her wish with a sigh I held my tongue.

"Well, now seeing we're all on the same page about where I stand on this I'll be seeing myself out; I have far more important things to be doing in Gaara's absence" with that, and a sharply abrupt turn, Kankuro left the house.

I turned to Temari "why did you tell me to stop?" I inquired.

Temari sniffled a little, then paused before answering "...because he's right" she said lowly still looking at the ground "he's completely right" she reaffirmed.

I didn't know what to say to that and so remained silent.

...

I emerged from the bar with Tsunade feeling less uptight about the whole thing, but of course I had an entire bottle of wine in me so I would suppose that is to be expected, the preliminary tournaments of the Chunin exams were due in an hour; but of course the opening ceremonies would likely add another hour or more. I sighed, ah how I detested the pretensions of formal ceremony; it reminded me of my father and his obsession with such frivolously wasteful displays, but I suppose as Kazekage I have little choice but to put up with it. As I surveyed my surroundings I noticed a figure walking amidst the crowd; slumped shoulders, hunched forward, eyes pointed at the ground. Upon closer inspection I realized it was Hinata and she had now likewise noticed me, she seemed to freeze up upon realizing I was near...

...

It was the same feeling...that same exact feeling, the one I get from Naruto; it's uncanny. I froze, froze up in mid-step as I realized we had crossed paths; my feelings were so confusing, did I now feel for Gaara in the same way I felt for Naruto?, but I've only known him, well 'really' known him at least, for a day now. Maybe it had something to do with how he was the first guy who ever payed attention to me like that, maybe it was because he was the Kazekage, or maybe it was just because he reminded me of Naruto in an odd way. It seemed almost like they were inversions of one another or two sides to the same coin; Naruto an exuberant and brightly golden heads, Gaara a restrained yet elegantly shimmering silver tails. Feeling this way, this same way, about Gaara was like having my entire world inverted; much in the way that Gaara himself seemed an inversion of Naruto, my feelings used to be so simple, so straightforward...now they confused the hell out of me.

Apparently I had completely zoned out in my thoughts and was staring blankly ahead for a few moments as Gaara was now more or less right in front of me, completely without me knowing or even realizing his approach "are you well?" he asked and gave my shoulder a light nudge. In shock at having suddenly been awakened from my trance of sorts I leapt back, causing Gaara to recoil slightly, his eyes widened slightly in surprise "...I did not intend to startle you" he stated.

"...i-it's fine" I barely managed to squeak out.

His brow piqued in curious concern "...something is troubling you" he said after a pause, I'm a terrible liar when directly confronted like that and so I said nothing "I can tell by the look in your eyes" Gaara clarified demonstrating one of the many polarities he shared with Naruto; where as Naruto was rather oblivious to others thoughts or emotions, Gaara seemed quite perceptive to them.

His gemlike, turquoise eyes were transfixing upon my own "Gaara!" Hokage Tsunade-sama called from behind to which Gaara waved his hand back dismissively.

"I'll catch up" he said without removing his transfixed glare.

"The opening ceremonies are about to begin!"

"Excellent, then I should have at least two hours before the actual matches begin" Gaara snarked. Some of the Shinobi around us seemed shocked at Gaara's words but Tsunade just shrugged then peered around Gaara to see me and a seemingly knowing smile crossed her face; she let out a small chuckle and went on her way towards the stadium where the opening ceremonies were indeed about to be underway. Gaara looked back towards me with that same faint look of hesitance, or even a strange kind of intimidation, he had when he first spoke to me yesterday "would you like to tell me what is troubling you so?" Gaara inquired after briefly clearing his throat. I paused, looking away sheepishly in embarrassment as Gaara 'hrmed' nervously "your are of course under no obligation to tell me anything and it is likely none of my business anyway, so-"

"I went to see Naruto today" I spoke up softly causing Gaara to stop mid-sentence. I took a deep breath "I wanted to apologize for snapping...but, when I went there I saw him...with Sakura" I took another breath "in bed, together" I finished.

Gaara nodded "I see" he said "but why is that so much of a problem?, did he not make his feelings clear to you?" Gaara inquired.

I nodded "I thought I was over it, that's why I went to apologize but...after seeing them like that I, I don't know how I feel anymore" I finished.

Gaara nodded again "it can be most unsettling when one is unsure of their own emotions" he commented, but of course Gaara didn't know the half of the story, why I was going to see Naruto and my growing feelings for him, but now; I just didn't know anymore. Am I really feeling something for Gaara, or is it just because he reminds me of Naruto in an odd inverted kind of way? Am I just running to the next best available thing now that I know Naruto is out of my reach? I don't know anymore, and if that is the case and my feelings really are just being redirected from Naruto then it would be unfair of me to act on them, because I'd just end up hurting Gaara in the end...and he's been hurt enough already by life.

Though, there is one thing that sticks out in my mind that is different about Gaara then Naruto when it comes to this; around Naruto I always felt overwhelmed and intimidated, too afraid to ever make a move but this is not the case with Gaara, something about Gaara puts me at ease and I cannot put my finger on why that is. Indeed, after just talking to Gaara for a few hours I suddenly had the strength and courage to openly declare my feelings, although to be honest it did help a bit that they were already out in the open anyway, and actively challenge Sakura for Naruto's affections. The me of a few days ago would have never dreamed of doing something like that but Gaara, something about his presence, about talking to him, being around him; it makes me feel stronger, more confidant, even more competent.

If anything about this was worth investigating further, perhaps it was that, suddenly I realized I had zoned out into my own thoughts again and snapped back to attention "I...I'm sorry; I just kind of zoned" I apologized sheepishly.

"It is fine" Gaara said with a light shrug "I am prone to that myself on occasion" he concluded then looked around "however...if we are to continue this conversation would you mind if we retreated somewhere a bit more...private?, away from prying eyes?" he asked as I looked around at the people staring, I suppose it was hard not to when the Kazekage is apparently comforting the heiress of the Hyuga clan.

"Oh-okay" I said with a nod.

"Most excellent" Gaara replied...

...

I took a drag from my cigarette "it's fucked up Shikamaru" I said as he leered back at me.

"...you're pregnant" Shikamaru said a little condemningly.

"I just need one, okay!" I snapped back, I knew Shikamaru felt a little guilty, after all, I picked up the habit from him in the first place, I took another drag "it's just, it's all so fucked up" I said with a shake of my head "you have no idea man, no idea" I sighed "everything he said was true Shikamaru, every goddamn word" I sniffed, snorted almost, before letting out a low 'heh' "I never did give a shit." Shikamaru looked on, his face blank and apparently disinterested as always but I could tell he was listening "it was tough back then though, when we were kids" I continued and took another drag, exhaling the smoke into the dry desert air "such shitty parents we had" I mused.

I took a look over to Shikamaru "your mom may be strict and your dad may be a bit of a drunk but they love you Shikamaru, don't ever take that for granted" I took another drag "fucking pisses me off when people do, I would've killed for parents that loved me, loved any of us" I concluded with another exhale of smoke. I took a look at my cig, it was about dead so I took one last drag before flicking it off into the expanse of sand around us "despite what Kankuro says though mom wasn't so bad, I mean, she was far from an ideal mother but she didn't exactly marry our father by 'choice', she was in a shitty situation like the rest of us. Still, it'd be a lie to say she loved or even 'liked' us really; she saw us more like nails in a coffin than anything else" I fake-laughed to myself "in a way we were; me and Kankuro metaphorically speaking at least, and Gaara literally."

"Our dad was the real piece of shit though, well, him and Yashamaru but to be honest the less said about him the better; that's more Gaara and Kankuro's tale to tell, I never encountered him much, he never had much interest in me...probably for the better, the sick fuck." It was getting late so the sun had gone down and the desert had turned from blistering heat to freezing cold; I could see my breath with every exhale "but dad, he'd beat us" I said, swallowing all the emotions that came from reliving those memories. "I got the worst of it, I think he hated women to be honest, it was usually after drinking, he'd find some reason to slap the shit out of me if mom wasn't around for him to beat her...then I'd go and take it out on Kankuro by pounding him into meat, until he got bigger and could fight back that is; then we'd beat each other up, but it was usually me who started it."

"It was a cycle of abuse, there was no love in that household; and it only got worse when Gaara was born" I sighed and sniffed lightly "I could lie and say I was kind to Gaara; but I won't, I hated him, all he was to me was the reason mom was dead...I would've beaten him up daily if it weren't for the fact I couldn't." I shook my head in disbelief at how terrible a person I was back then "...so instead I resigned to make him feel as unwanted as possible, I never made eye contact, never showed compassion, I acted like he wasn't even there...because I knew how much it hurt him. Kankuro wasn't much better but he was more so just terrified and resentful of him than outright cold and cruel like I was, plus, he was younger; as the oldest and the closest thing Gaara had to an older female role model I should've known better."

I was an expert at swallowing my feelings but this was getting hard, I felt like such a failure as I told the story "all Gaara needed was someone, anyone, to show him an ounce of kindness or compassion, it would've made his already hellish existence so much more bearable. I was the big sister Shikamaru; that was my job, that's what big sisters are supposed to do for their baby brothers and if I was even a halfway decent person back then I'd have watched over Gaara like a hawk...but I was so bitter, so angry, so self-centered. All I ever had for Gaara were harsh words, cold stares and hate, if I could go back in time and replace that with hugs, kisses and love I would; I'd do it right now" my muscles tensed as I swallowed the mucous building in my nose and forced back the tears that began welling under my eyes.

Shikamaru put a sudden yet firm hand on my shoulder "...let it out" he said calmly which was apparently all the coaxing I needed as I pretty much instantaneously descended into blubbering tears...


	6. Chapter 6

I took her to the highest building top in Konoha the same spot I used to sit and stare at the moon so many years ago during those fateful Chunin exams, I figured this would be a good spot to evade prying eyes, I was correct. We had talked for awhile, mostly about the mutual interest in plants and flowers that we discovered yesterday, she surprised me with how knowledgeable she was, Hinata did indeed seem to enjoy my company, but nevertheless it seemed we had run out of things to talk about.

The air around was permeated by an uncomfortable silence, I cleared my throat and tried to think of something else to say before Hinata turned to me -

"You don't have to try so hard" she said "I just...like being around you" she concluded with a smile.

"Very well" I answered and resumed my silence, turning my gaze back out towards the slowly setting sun; it was a cool, early Fall afternoon and the scenery was of such a nature that I was unaccustomed to seeing living in the deserts of the Land of wind as I did; the orange tree leaves were particularly intriguing to me.

"...I'ts funny" Hinata piqued up after a minute or two of silence.

"Hmn?" I replied, still gazing out over Konoha.

"You're so sweet now, but, you used to be so frightening, terrifying even" she said.

I felt a slight sinking in my chest "...I used to be a scary person" I replied somewhat uncomfortably; I wasn't in the mood to speak of my past anymore.

Hinata gulped before she continued, cautiously "a-all those years ago" she began" "in the forest of death, when you...killed those Genin, y-you, knew it was me hiding in the bushes, right?" she asked, I nodded "is that one of the reasons you chose to move on rather than direct your anger at us too?" she continued her question.

I sighed "it was the only reason" I corrected, she seemed somewhat shocked by my words "I made a point of it to not kill girls if it could be helped, which is also the reason I did not kill Sakura outright during my first fight with Naruto, rather, I pinned her to a tree and constricted her using it as a bluff to make myself appear more fearsome; in truth I never intended to actually kill her" I explained. 'Why am I telling her all this?' I thought to myself 'I never talk about things of this nature with anyone other than Kankuro.'

Hinata stared back at me, a perplexed gaze on her face "why?" she asked.

I inhaled deeply through my nose; trying to shrug off discomfort "because it would remind me of my mother, or rather my lack of one, remind me of my birth" I answered truthfully.

Hinata fell silent at my answer before lowering her head and with her eyes closed softly added "...my mother's dead too" I piqued up a curious brow "when I was no older than three" Hinata continued.

"How?" I asked.

"Consumption" Hinata answered lowly.

"The advanced stages of tuberculosis" I essentially repeated what Hinata said in a more technically correct manner.

Hinata nodded "but I don't want to talk about any more sad stuff" then lifted her head up to resume eye contact "we've had enough sad stuff in our lives; you especially."

Hinata smiled at me, her white, vaguely-lavender eyes looking into my own, even without her Byakugan on there was something piercing, stripping even about them; I felt exposed when she looked at me, naked, and in a way vulnerable...but for some reason not unsafe, it confused me. "Your eyes are still so sad though" Hinata commented, her smile turning into a slight frown "it's the one thing about you that hasn't changed at all."

I gave a light shrug "I'm just naturally a rather miserable person I suppose, joyful emotions do not come easily to me" I replied, a true statement though it was something booze helped to alleviate, even now I felt the blood-warming fire of the wine I consumed earlier coursing through my veins, calming my various neurosis'. I picked up drinking from my brother years ago, the stress of being Kazekage and dealing with the blasted council to institute the changes I wanted after I came back to life was giving me damn-near crippling levels of stress and leaving me even more depressed than usual; alcohol has since proved an invaluable tool for me in remaining sane.

Hinata turned her body from the ledge we were sitting over and scooted over to me, she looked up into my eyes while slowly raising her palm to the side of my face "you've become a great man, you shouldn't be sad" I normally shunned away from being touched...but, from her; it was soothing. "There's enough suffering in our Shinobi world already" Hinata reasoned, almost childishly.

I sighed "it is for precisely that reason you see sadness behind my eyes, Hinata, there is indeed enough suffering in this Shinobi world, too much suffering...pointless, senseless suffering; we're all to blame for it." Hinata looked back at me confusedly "each and every Hidden Village of the Great Nations; we're the reason this world is the way it is...Ninja have not made this world a better place Hinata, no, much the opposite" I shook my head "we were supposed to be the protectors, guardians of the common man; look at us now." I let out a soft groan "war is our business, our profits are measured in the amount of tears and suffering we can generate, we promote strife; it sickens me" I was perhaps saying too much, but wine does have a way of loosening the lips as it were.

Hinata was silent "...I want to change that, Hinata" I said, taking her hand from my cheek and clasping it in my own, one hand under her palm, the other above almost as though I was swearing my following words to her, as though it would give my words greater weight "I became Kazekage to atone for my past, I've done that." I paused and took a breath before I finished my statement "I remain Kazekage to atone for what this Shinobi world has become; the war, strife and misery that Ninja have ultimately created...I want to make a difference" I finished with a an empty sigh, in truth I didn't think much of my chances to make any kind of lasting difference; even with my lifetime ahead of me.

Hinata blinked "...Naruto talks about peace a lot too" she mused, something about being compared to Naruto rubbed me the wrong way but I didn't allow it to show "but as much as I admire him...I think you have a better shot at really making a difference; you're Kazekage after all, and I think you're a little smarter than he is." My eyes widened in some degree of shock at Hinata's sudden emendation of sorts to her statement, I couldn't help but feel my inner pride swell a bit, I smiled slightly and nodded "see!" she exclaimed "you're smiling...you look so much nicer when you smile" she finished.

I blinked and furrowed my brow slightly before I asked what had been on my own mind "why do you act differently around me?" I inquired "you're normally so timid" I continued.

Hinata looked away sheepishly, blushing, she shuffled uncomfortably "...to be honest; I don't know" she said after a pause "you just have that effect on me."

I smirked slightly at that "you know, you're not the only person to say that" I replied and Hinata looked confused "another girl has said that to me, Matsuri to be precise; she was my pupil before I became Kazekage and a shy one as well but has told me much the same thing about having that effect on her" I explained.

"...oh" Hinata replied, almost dejectedly, "so, I'm not the only one?" she asked, confusing me slightly.

"The only one what?" I replied, hoping not appear a fool.

Hinata shook her head "it's not important" she said with a gentle sigh before returning her gaze back over the ledge "it must be nice" she commented offhandedly, changing the subject abruptly.

"What must be nice now?"

"To be able to just, get away like this, I mean; you can just take off on your sand whenever you want and...fly away...I wish I could fly" Hinata gave a sigh "it must be the most liberating feeling in the world" she concluded dreamily.

I pondered momentarily before voicing a reply "would you like me to fly you?" I asked to which Hinata shot me an incredulous glance "I'm being serious" I continued and Hinata's expression didn't change "I have time to kill before the Chunin exams start, more than enough time to give you a proper 'flight test' I'd wager" I elaborated, now smirking; that bottle of wine from earlier had gone some length towards loosening my normally stiff and reserved disposition. Hinata broke out into a smirk of disbelief as I levitated myself in the air on my sand and nimbly floated my way over in front of her, suspending myself over the ledge before us "shall we?" I asked as I extended my hand in a gentlemanly fashion, bowing with an arm behind my back.

Hinata blushed again, rather prominently this time, at my gesture "i-i-if you insist" she said with a sudden stammer as she cautiously accepted my hand and took a tentative step towards me, my sand forming a platform of sorts as she stepped up to me. Hooking my arm under hers I grasped the small of her back and she almost instinctively responded by clutching me tightly and pressing herself into my chest, gazing down below us "...we're up pretty high" she said with a gulp, her voice shaking a bit.

I chuckled "this is nothing" and with that, without warning, I shot us up into the sky as Hinata clutched even tighter, her eyes pasted to the disappearing building tops beneath us, I could feel her heart pumping out through her chest; even through her heavy jacket and considerable bust, she was definitely exhilarated; or terrified. Once the buildings below were little more than dots I gradually halted our ascent to a slow stop, Hinata's clutch didn't loosen "this is more like it" I mused with a mischievous glint to my tone of voice, Hinata's heart kept pounding and she continued to gaze downward. "Relax, I won't let you fall" I assured her and expanded the platform of sand beneath us to several meters in radius "no need to cling so tight" I continued my reassurance, a warm smile graced my normally grim face, I seemed to smile much easier with prolonged exposure to Hinata.

Hinata shakily backed away and redirected her eyes towards me "...I've never been up so high" she said in an oddly detached, almost listless, tone and appeared as though she was looking through me; then I realized she had activated her Byakugan. "I can see it...see it all" Hinata mused in that same oddly detached tone "for over ten kilometers, a bird's eye view over all of Konoha at once, the surrounding landscapes and more" she seemed utterly breath taken by what she was experiencing, I was slightly jealous to be truthful. Hinata seemed to be taking in all of her surroundings at once, not focusing on any one thing in particular "I wish there was some way I could show you this" she lamented, I remained silent resigning to allow Hinata her moment exploring the sensations of this altitude. "I-I'm sorry, this is rude of me" Hinata said and wish a shake of her head dispelled her Byakugan "this...this is lovely though."

I smirked "this is only the beginning" I replied and Hinata gave me a confused look "you said you wanted to *fly*, and I intend to show you what that's like" I elaborated.

Hinata kinked her head "but...we are flying."

I shook my head slightly "no, not yet" and with that I turned my back to Hinata, "put your hands on my shoulders" I instructed while looking behind at her.

"...what are you gonna do?" Hinata asked after a pause.

"Just trust me" I answered with a smirk.

Hinata slowly approached and did as I instructed "alright, that's step one; now, don't freak out..." I instructed as I began to slowly command my sand to lift her up my the ankles.

"Wh-what's going on!" Hinata called out.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to let you fall" I replied as my sand lifted her horizontally into the air, Hinata's arms were wrapped tight around my neck, clinging feverishly to my robe. I gripped her firmly by her underarms leaving her suspended horizontally above me almost like a human kite or hang-glider, her prominent breasts resting somewhat uncomfortably I would assume on the back of my neck.

"You ready?" I asked.

"..n-n-no" Hinata answered.

I gave a laugh "too bad" I replied and dropped into a nosedive towards the ground, I think she was screaming but it was hard to tell with the velocity of wind whipping past us, then, when were about two thirds of the way down to the building tops I jackknifed us up ninety degrees out of the nosedive. I could feel, let alone hear, Hinata panting above me "see?, we are not going to fall" I pointed out.

"*Pant* *pant*...you're...a jerk" Hinata replied.

I chuckled "I do apologize, but I simply could not help myself, and besides, now the rest of the flight won't seem so frightening in comparison" I explained myself. Hinata kept panting from above as I rotated us slightly and took us around the bend of Konoha's western outskirts "so then" I began "is there anywhere in particular you'd like me to fly you?"

...

As a shinobi I've been in some dicey situations before but I've never experienced anything so exhilarating as that free fall drop with Gaara, I could still feel my heart pounding through my chest against him "n-no" I managed to stammer out between breaths "just, wherever" I continued as I was really just enjoying the sensation of flight itself, it didn't matter where we flew.

"Alright then" Gaara steered us off westward toward the edge of Konoha, heading towards the city walls.

"We're about to leave the village!" I said.

"I know, the village is rather boring though, I hope you do not mind if I detour us over the nearby woods" Gaara replied.

"Oh-okay" I responded.

"Now brace yourself, we're about to pick up speed..." and true to his word, we were soon zipping straight ahead at easily triple speed.

The wind whipped through my hair as I sailed on ahead suspended above Gaara, it waved wildly behind me, the cool breeze slapping and whirring past my face, the ground below zipping behind us...it was so liberating, I felt like I was just sailing on and on; leaving every worry and trouble behind me. A smile broadened over my face, and suddenly I felt consumed by overwhelming joy, laughter rose from the pit of my stomach and erupted forth in a raucous burst.

"Oh, you like that; huh?" Gaara remarked and started ascending sharply.

"No-no-not again! Not agaaain!" I shouted laughingly.

"Too late" Gaara teased and sharply tilted into another nosedive. I was laughing and shrieking at the same time if that makes any sense, it was so exhilarating, as we picked up momentum Gaara jerked us upward again and the momentum carried us into a loop.

I couldn't hold back anymore as I felt my inner child squeal with glee "hahahaha-wheeeeeeee!" I shouted as Gaara snickered from beneath. "Do that again!" I cried with playful abandon as we finished looping in the air, Gaara lowly chuckled to himself as he complied, picking up altitude once again "go higher this time!" I instructed, still giggling.

"What's this now, having a sudden surge in bravery are we?" Gaara chided while ascending higher into the air once more.

I saw the clouds nearing closer and closer "higher, higher!" I continued "up past the clouds!" I kept insisting. Gaara laughed again at this as we rose higher still, up into the thick, stratocumulus clouds; it was like being blanketed in a thick fog "wait!" I cried as we entered the cloud. Gaara halted and looked back over at me, puzzled "I've...never been up inside a cloud before" I explained my desire to stop.

Gaara shrugged "have you walked through fog before?, it's the same thing; just suspended droplets of water" he didn't seem to appreciate the novelty of it much. "I'd like to move through it quickly though...I don't like being wet" Gaara continued and zipped us up further, past the clouds, I gazed down at them. I felt my heart pound in excitement, however, my legs were aching from being horizontal for so long.

"Could you let me down?" I asked. Gaara turned to look up at me and piqued a brow "my legs kind of hurt from being like this" I explained.

"Oh, ermn, alright..." Gaara answered while clearing his throat and lowered me slowly down behind him so I was now standing "I'm still going to have to secure you, though, since we're going this fast" Gaara continued a little awkwardly and I felt his sand wrap around my midsection, I looked down to see what was essentially a sand belt wrapping around Gaara and me, securing me to his back.

Gaara fidgeted nervously a little bit before asking "you ready?"

"Y-yes" I answered a bit awkwardly myself; being pressed to Gaara like this was arousing those same feelings from earlier, I felt my breast warming and my limbs were becoming gelatin-like, I gulped.

Without a second word Gaara dropped us down through the clouds into a nosedive, the velocity couldn't help but force me into him and I wrapped my arms tight, clinging as the wind rushed past us, my chin slid over his shoulder, my cheek pressed to the side of his. As we built up enough momentum Gaara looped us around once again, my adrenaline was rushing, pressed to him and laughing with gleeful abandon as we whipped around in the air; I felt so...alive! Gaara was laughing too, not the forced sharp 'HAs' I had heard from him before but legitimate cries of enjoyment, laughing as he went he looped us around a second time, and again, and a fourth time in quick succession before leveling us out straight ahead, my heart felt like it was leaping out my chest, thudding heavily into Gaara's back.

"Having fun back there?" Gaara asked but I could hardly speak I was panting so hard, let alone formulate sentences, my heart kept pounding away with powerful thuds, almost like my heart was slamming into him, over and over 'thud' 'thud' 'thud'.

I felt something brush against my leg, I looked down now noticing that amidst all the revelry I had wrapped my left calf around Gaara's shin; he either hadn't noticed, or didn't mind as he had made no gesture or mention of it, in fact his attention seemed focused directly beneath us. "...magnificent" Gaara mused as we began to slow, I looked down and saw autumn-leaved treetops beneath us "I had heard trees in the Land of Fire changed colors during your autumn months, though never before have I bore witness" Gaara continued as we came to a descent, gently lowering between the treetops. "I would take this opportunity to inspect them closer..." Gaara continued as we lowered towards the ground, quickly, I removed my calf from around his shin, hoping he didn't notice and likewise wouldn't notice my embarrassment as well as my growing feelings.

As we landed Gaara stepped forward as I backed up to lean against a nearby tree to catch my breath, my arms were like jelly, my knees felt weak and my heart would just *not* stop thumping "these are momiji trees, correct?; such a vibrant shade of red the leaves are."

I gulped and nodded "uhhh-huh" I stammered out an answer, I had to focus on something else, anything else, to still my beating heart and all-to-rapidly rising emotions; all that adrenaline and excitement had...well...'aroused' me so to speak. I looked around at the forest, it was as Gaara pointed out mostly momiji trees in their full red autumn shade 'almost as red as Gaara's hair' I immediately thought to myself DAMN IT, okay, deep breath; look at something else...cool down. I sat down underneath the tree behind me and looked around, the forest also had a few matsu trees adding touches of green for contrast but was indeed mostly momiji, I clutched at my chest trying desperately to still my speeding heart.

Gaara was looking around "had I grown up here rather than the Land of Wind I could certainly see myself having developed a similar fondness for these color changing trees that I have now for cacti" he spoke, he didn't seem to notice my behaving strangely. My eyes couldn't help but drift back to Gaara as he looked around at the forest around him, his back to me, my eyes level with the backs of his thighs no more than five or six feet in front of me...I couldn't stop staring; this was eerily similar to how I would get around Naruto when he was close, right before I'd freak out. Fortunately, Gaara's gourd had reformed once we landed blocking my view of his more intimate areas, thank the heavens "...why are you staring at me?" Gaara casually asked while still gazing at the trees, I felt myself panic at the sudden realization that he knew "it is not as though I haven't noticed, you have been since we landed" he continued.

I gulped "I suppose it matters not" Gaara cut me off before I could answer "forgive my curiosity; I did not mean to 'put you on the spot' so to speak" he reasoned and continued observing the foliage around us.

"W-w-why..." I half squeaked and stuttered.

Gaara turned to me "pardon?" he asked.

"Why-why do *you* act...so different around *me*" I asked, mirroring the question Gaara had posed me earlier and as the question left my lips Gaara seemed to stiffen, almost as though he was embarrassed.

"...how do you mean?" he replied after a short pause.

I gulped "I've never seen you smile before, not ever, not even to Naruto when you bought him the ramen, e-even when you came out of that bar with Hokage Tsunade-sama you had a blank expression...b-but, you, you're always smiling at me now." I took a deep breath before continuing "w-with Naruto you were so abrupt and brisk, didn't even smile when he hugged you, wh-when Sakura asked if you had gotten Naruto promoted you dismissed the idea, y-you push everyone else away from you, you act like you prefer being by yourself, alone with your thoughts."

Gaara stared back at me unblinkingly "...why does that completely change when you're with me now?, e-even though we haven't known each other very long?" I finished.

Gaara continued to stare back at me with a transfixed glare before he let out a sigh "...I don't rightly know, to be honest." Gaara approached and knelt in front of me "I guess it just...amazes me to no end that this brutal, harsh, vicious Shinobi world...could have birthed a creature so pure as yourself; I've known you, truly known you, only for a short while but...your purity of spirit fascinates me."

"You are the heiress of the Hyuga clan, one of the most dogmatic, oppressive and just...downright barbarically militant clans in all of Konoha, hell, they're the only Ninja clan around that still practices slavery! By all logic you should be a cruel, elitist, vindictive, sadistic and violent shrew-like harpy of a woman...but you're not! You're so much the complete opposite of all of those things, it's, it's unprecedented" at this point in Gaara's speech his monotone had completely vanished, the disbelief and amazement in his voice was very apparent.

"I know you must have been raised to have been all of those things, I-I can imagine what you must have gone through to hold on to who you really are...to...to that inner child, to your kindness, to your innocence! It must've been hell for you, in fact I know it was hell for you...I know because...because at one time I was exactly like you. Yesterday when you read my chakra you were dead on, when I was a child I was...the sweetest little boy you could imagine, I wouldn't have hurt a fly if I could have helped it. I was raised to be a monster, to be a killer, that inner child, that part of me was mercilessly and without pity annihilated...but it was ultimately 'me' who chose to annihilate it, even if it was hell, at a certain point I just...gave in...to make the hell stop; I let myself become what my father wanted me to be...a monster, a killer."

Gaara gazed at me, disbelief in his eyes "...but you, you still have it! You still have it!" Gaara was practically exclaiming "I know they must have tried to beat it out of you, to make you into the heiress they wanted you to be, the cold killer that could inherit the clan and see it managed the way they intended, they must've done everything to make you into that...but it never stuck, you never gave in; your internal moral fortitude must be immense." Gaara shook his head "...or at the very least greater than mine" he added "I gave in and I killed that part of myself, I let them mold me, make me what they wanted me to be" Gaara gazed longingly at me "when I see you, I see that part of myself...the part that I lost, the part I wasn't strong enough to hold onto; it amazes me that someone, *anyone*, could have been strong enough to hold onto that in this brutal Shinobi world."

I blinked, Never, In. My. *LIFE*. Have I ever had anyone speak so highly of me, lavish such praise upon me, and seemingly out of nowhere...I was speechless, here, my whole life I had always thought that because I couldn't be the brutal killer my father had wanted, that I was weak. I always thought that because I couldn't bear the thought of torturing another human being and using the Hyuga cursed seal technique; I was weak, that because I couldn't stuff my emotions down and kill without pity; I was weak, that because I couldn't be like the rest of my clan, like my father Neji and Hanabi; I was weak. But here was a Kage, the Kazekage himself, telling me that what I had always seen in myself as weakness was in fact strength, and it was the kind of strength that he wished he had; as I looked back at him I saw a single tear rolling down his cheek "...I wish I had that kind of strength when I was younger; so many innocent lives could have been spared" Gaara lamented.

So many feelings were building up inside me, my hands were shaking, and this distinct warming was building up in my inner thighs, it was so much, an intense wave of emotion just coursing up through me, it had to go somewhere, it needed some form of expression. Without even thinking I reached out and grabbed Gaara by the cuffs of the front of his robes and pulled him towards me and as his face neared mine I planted a kiss right on his lips, for the briefest moment I thought I was going to panic and run but no...I lost Naruto by not acting soon enough. Earlier I had, had a revelation about taking what I want from life, about not sitting in the background anymore and dammit at this moment, at this present time I wanted Gaara, and to hell with any inhibitions or worrying about why I feel what for whatever reason; for once I'm just going to take what I want.

Gaara's eyes opened in wide shock at my sudden kiss, for a brief moment he stiffened and seemed about to back off but in just as brief an instant his muscles relaxed and his arms wrapped around me, one resting on the small of my back, the other on the back of my head as he kissed back.


	7. Chapter 7

Instinct took the better of me as I returned the embrace, holding her to me as I pressed my lips to hers and for once in my life...I had no thoughts, my mind was utterly blank, there were only sensations; touch and smell and warmth. A peaceful bliss washed throughout me in that moment, the likes of which I had never before experienced, her hair was very soft to my touch, velvety even and her lips pillow-like, I inhaled deeply through my nose; her scent was intoxicating, more-so than any wine.

Slowly, cautiously, she backed away from the embrace and I slowly let my arms drop back to my sides, "did I just do that?" Hinata asked in quiet disbelief, her eyes distant and glazed.

"Yes...yes you did" I answered, my voice crackly and rasped from shock.

Hinata gulped and slowly nodded "w-what now then?" she asked.

I took a deep breath and let forth a slow sigh "...no idea, to be rightfully honest" I replied then with a shake of my head added "but for once I don't feel like pondering over the future or asking any questions."

We sat there for some time, literally mere inches from each others faces; Hinata sitting with her back pressed to the tree behind her and me before her on my knees, my hands laid flush against the ground on either side of us.

"Can I..." I trailed off awkwardly for a moment.

"Wh-what?" Hinata asked still apparently in disbelief.

I gulped slightly "can I...hold you, again?; like we were before?" I clarified, my voice shaking somewhat.

"Oh-o...okay" Hinata stammered out in response.

Slowly, and with a slight tremble, I lifted my arms back around Hinata, one grasping the top of her back and the other resting along the back of her head as she pillowed the side of her cheek into my chest...

...

"Out of the question!" I cut Baki off.

"Please Hokage-sama, it is unlike Kazekage Gaara-sama to be this late, it would reflect poorly upon our village should he not be here for the entirety of the tournament, can you not delay it?" he begged.

I groaned "we're not holding up the entire tournament for Gaara to get here, besides, there's still time before your teams go up; those are the only matches he actually needs to see."

Baki struggled to hide his annoyance "I should've had someone keep their eye on him" he muttered under his breath.

"Now if you don't mind" I continued over him "would you kindly leave the balcony?, this is for viewing Kages only" I spoke a bit nicer than I would typically, since I was out in public.

"It is also for the bodyguards of Kages" Baki argued.

"Yes" my annoyance and ire was growing "and Gaara has chosen to have no bodyguards, as he has expressed to Shizune, so get back down with the other team captains and instructors!" I commanded.

Baki struggled to hide his growing anger but complied without further argument as he muttered sharply under his breath again "where in the hell is Gaara?"

...

Gaara was silently inhaling through his nose, smelling my hair, I licked my lips; I wanted to taste his again. I still couldn't believe what had just happened, it just came over me!, but I was resigned to just enjoy this moment, what was done was done.

"...can we kiss again?" Gaara asked with another deep inhale through his nose, it sent shivers down my spine how he kept smelling my hair like that, Gaara pulled back from the embrace slightly to look me in the face again "I would like to" he continued, I nodded slowly "longer, this time?" he asked and again I slowly nodded to which Gaara neared my lips and once again we kissed, It was slower this time and less sudden allowing me to take in many of the sensations of it. As I had noted before Gaara had a rather small mouth with thin lips, by comparison mine were much plusher and pillowed up against his. Like before Gaara embraced me, one hand on the back of my head and another on my back, this time I also used my hands to embrace him, cupping them around his face and gripping his hair as I kissed.

As we held together I couldn't help but start to run my tongue over Gaara's lips, his bottom lip mostly, to which Gaara moaned lightly in what I assumed was approval, his mouth opened slightly as I did this and again, acting upon instinct and more than a little lust at this point, I drew his bottom lip into my mouth. I lightly chewed on his bottom lip as I licked over it to which Gaara again moaned in what sounded like pleasure, he gripped my hair more tightly as I chewed seeming to really appreciate it, soon I probed further with my tongue, gliding over his lip and into his mouth. Gaara, somewhat aggressively, pulled my head closer as I did that but in my rising state of lust I didn't mind, I found it pleasurable to probe every nook and cranny of the inside of his mouth with my tongue, glossing over every feature, feeling it, swirling my tongue around his own.

Finally, realizing that I needed to break this off before I completely lost control of myself, I pulled back from the kiss and gazed into Gaara's dumbstruck eyes, his mouth hung open, he gulped and took a deep breath.

"I've never done that before" I laughed nervously "I'd never even kissed a boy before" I continued.

"When you were chewing, on my lip" Gaara spoke up "...you, can do that harder next time, if you want" he added after a pause.

I kinked my head in confusion "but, w-wouldn't that hurt?" I asked and Gaara seemed embarrassed, maybe even a little ashamed, "d-d-do you, like that?" I stammered out awkwardly.

Gaara let out a soft sigh "when the Shukaku was still bound to me the sand would automatically protect me, as a result...I rarely felt pain." Gaara cleared his throat before continuing "even when I did it was of a dulled variety and even now that the Shukaku is gone it is still rare that anything dents or pierces my sand when I'm training or instructing so it's-"

"You enjoy pain?" I half asked and half completed Gaara's thought.

Gaara seemed a tad nervous "kind of..." he trailed off for a moment "but only within an intimate context you see, it is such a rare sensation for me that it has overtime taken on an association with intimacy" he quickly added, again feeling the need to justify himself as he did when admitting he plucked his eyebrows. "I apologize, I probably shouldn't have said anything; you must think me quite strange" Gaara said. I gulped lightly, it was hard to ignore what I was now feeling and the thought that was reverberating through my mind...

'That's kinda hot.'

I had absolutely no idea why I felt that way or why I thought that but it was the first thing that popped into my head.

"I...don't think it's all that strange, it's, understandable even" I had always been drawn, attracted even, to people who were a little bit off or seemed like they were in need of being understood, it's why I fell for Naruto...and it seemed it was for this very same reason I was now falling for Gaara, in a way they're both the same kind of person only different expressions of it.

Gaara leaned in suddenly and kissed me, making this the third kiss, when abruptly he cut it off, his eyes widening "...the Chunin exams!" Gaara exclaimed "I...got so sidetracked, ermn, I do apologize Hinata dear but we must depart back for Konoha this instant!" Gaara continued, almost frantic. Before I could even issue a response Gaara looped his arm under mine and rose us both back up into the air again...

...

"Well...now things are really complicated" I thought out loud as I walked down the streets of Konoha, normally I'd be watching the Chunin exams even if I wasn't going to be participating but I really needed to think right now, again, I've been doing way more thinking than I'm used to lately. I just got laid for the first time, aren't guys supposed to be happy about this kind of thing like it's some kind of big event or something? Why do I feel so anxious and shitty about it? I dunno, my own feelings aren't making a whole lot of sense to me and I still just can't shake the feeling that Sakura is being less than honest, but that could just be my own inferiority complex talking, I mean, she seemed sincere last night. Then again she was pretty drunk so can I really take what she said and did all that seriously? It doesn't really matter anyway though, since now I'm pretty much locked in since it'd be a *REAL* dick move of me to back away from this now.

'Dammit Naruto, just stop thinking so much; you're supposed to be good at not thinking remember?' I yelled at myself in my head, it was true, it was so unlike me to over think anything but this was different for some stupid reason, I dunno, maybe I just still feel guilty about Hinata. That's really when all these doubts and uncertainties started to be honest, it's just the idea that I could've accidentally hurt anyone in that way really rubs me the wrong way, I don't like it, I don't like being responsible for my friends being hurt...maybe I feel like I deserve to be punished for it so I'm punishing myself, that could be it I guess.

I sat down on a nearby bench, my mind was going kilometers by the minute and I needed to sit down 'I just got promoted to Chunin and I just lost my virginity to/had awesome sex with Sakura, I should be in a good mood, I should be having the happiest freaking day of my life' I screamed from inside my head. It was no use, no matter how much I tried to apply reason to this I still felt like crap about it for some stupid reason that I can't put my finger on.

"Naruto-san!"

"Mmmn?" I piqued up at the sound of the voice, it was Rock Lee, I must not've noticed him being so distracted by my dumb thoughts.

"It would seem that in this game of love for the lovely Sakura's affections, you have ultimately come out the victor" I blinked back at him in response "though it was perhaps dishonorable of me, I had nevertheless held a small sliver of hope in my heart that the two of you would not have worked out and I would be given a second chance but it would appear that is no longer a possibility" Lee continued.

I kinda groaned "word travels fast" I commented.

"I can only assume the two of you are now to be promptly married" Lee continued his tirade and I felt my blood stiffen, I gulped...I hadn't thought of that.

"Well, I dunno, it's not really a big deal..."

"Not a big deal?" Lee interrupted "to lose oneself in another in the throes of mutual physical love is the biggest of big deals!" Lee clenched his fist in front of him and got all starry-eyed like he does sometimes "the perfect romance; the young childhood friends turned lovers married after their first night of true passion!"

I wished I shared Lee's enthusiasm "that sounds great Lee" I lied with my trademark big smile 'somebody please save me from this' I thought to myself when suddenly I heard a loud *whoosh* from above, I looked up and saw a trail of sand 'speak o' the devil' I thought to myself as Gaara came in for a brisk landing, I noticed Hinata was with him.

"Kazekage-sama!" Lee exclaimed and bowed deeply "I am most deeply sorry I have not yet found a way to repay you for saving my life many years ago" Lee continued.

"I crippled and almost killed you Rock Lee I think we're about even, in any event, I must depart swiftly as I am already late for the Chunin exams" Gaara spat out quickly, almost panicking, as he gently let Hinata down "take care, Hinata d-" Gaara cut himself off before he finished that statement. Both Gaara and Hinata looked really embarrassed "ermn, right, Chunin exams; farewell friends" Gaara finished and sped off down the street towards the stadium.

Once Gaara was out of earshot I asked what was on my mind "what were you doing with Gaara?"

"Naruto-san!" Rock Lee scolded "it is rude to inquire about such things!" he continued.

"H-h-he was just dropping me off" Hinata stuttered out "I wanted him to, so I could a-a-apologize for-"

"Don't mention it Hinata" I cut her off, smiling "I understand, I'm a doofus for never noticing, you had every right to be pissed" I laughed and gripped the back of my hair "I've never seen you angry before, it was kinda scary."

"I think I had better take my leave" Lee said, I think he thought he was intruding on us.

"It's fine Lee, you can stick around."

"A-actually, I'd like to just...talk to you, Naruto-kun" Hinata said softly.

Lee smiled, took a bow and departed without so much as another word.

I smiled and patted the seat on the bench beside me and Hinata timidly sat down beside me "Hinata...before you say anything I have to tell you that I feel like a total idiot."

"No, I'm the idiot" Hinata said with a shake of her head "you can't help who you have feelings for, I shouldn't have snapped" she continued sweetly.

I smiled at that, then sighed "I dunno, I'm not so sure about my feelings anymore to be honest" I admitted.

Hinata seemed shocked "b-b-but didn't you-"

"She came to my house at night drunk and horny, she pretty much threw herself at me; I'm not made of stone" Hinata got really quiet at what I just said.

"...do you think she's prettier than me?" she asked quietly after a pause, totally out of nowhere.

Now there was a loaded question "you're both pretty in different ways" I gave an honest non-answer.

Hinata kind of snickered a little "I expected you to say something like that."

"You've been a lot less timid these past few days, what's gotten into you?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer but I was mostly just trying to change the subject. Hinata shuffled uncomfortably a little "it's 'cause of Gaara isn't it?" I continued.

Hinata blushed in embarrassment "h-how did you know?"

I smirked "Gaara may be a little anti-social but when push comes to shove he has a knack for saying or doing exactly the right thing for people; he isn't Kazekage for nothing..."

...

"Stuff it Baki!" I snapped before he could even begin to lecture me about my lateness as I raised myself up to the viewing balcony "yes I know, I know I'm late!" I growled at Tsunade before she had the chance to grill my as well as I took my seat beside her...

...

"Wh-what do you mean you aren't sure about your feelings anymore?" Hinata asked.

I shrugged "I dunno, I just feel like I made a mistake for some reason, like I shouldn't have slept with her, like this whole thing was a bad idea from the get-go" I admitted and Hinata seemed a little shocked "I mean, I know I was head over heels for her when I was a kid but, I was a kid then y'know? and sometimes feelings change, I think over time I came to see her more as a friend than anything else even if it started out as something else" I paused "I'm sorry, I'm probably not making any sense."

"...no, you are" Hinata piped up softly.

"After I got back from training with the Toads is when everything started to change between me and Sakura."

Hinata nodded slowly "I-I remember that...wasn't Akatsuki supposed to have attacked the village?"

"Yeah" I replied "we were on high alert for it; but they never came, long after my training was done and still they never came, no one knew what to make of it; didn't make any sense."

"But anyways, that's when things started changing; it was real subtle at first, she'd say or do little things, stuff I'd never notice, then she started getting clingier and clingier...then she asked me out for the first time, but I said no."

Hinata's eyes went wide in surprise "she asked you more than once a-a-and, you turned her down?"

I nodded "yeah, I told her she was just getting like this because she was scared she'd never see Sasuke again and I wasn't interested in being her 'second best'" Hinata seemed really shocked "she was persistent though, it's kinda funny though since it's like the reverse of when we were kids, she'd ask me like every few months and eventually I gave in but it took over two years of her asking me nonstop...and I did it just to make her happy to be honest, but I still felt like I was making a mistake."

I sighed "and now that we've gone all the way I feel like I've dug myself deeper into a mistake, I mean, when we were together and doing it, it felt so right, but now that I'm thinking with my brain instead of my dick I realize that none of my problems with this have changed any." Hinata was staring and totally speechless, I laughed "things sure could've been a lot simple, eh Hinata?" I suggested.

Hinata shook her head back to attention "w-w-w-what?" she barely stammered out.

"If I just realized how you felt earlier things could've turned out differently and I might've avoided this whole mess in the first place" I sat up "ahh well, live and learn right?, anyways I need to get going" I put my hand on Hinata's shoulder in a display of friendship "thanks for listening though, it helped me out a lot, take care!"

I turned to leave when suddenly Hinata shouted from behind me "y-you too!", I waved back at her from over my shoulder as I took off.

...

"Winner! Hyuga Hanabi!" the judge announced from the tournament square below, so many thoughts, so many feelings were racing through my mind but I couldn't even acknowledge them right now, the matches and my duties as Kazekage were of top priority.

"Impressive" Tsunade commented.

"*hrmph* she was toying with him" I criticized "she could have easily ended that match much cleaner and more quickly, she seems to enjoy hurting her opponents more than she should."

Tsunade shrugged "is that a problem?, we are Shinobi after all."

"A Shinobi should dispatch their opponent quickly and efficiently."

"I still think she's easily Chunin material."

"it's your village, promote her if you want; though I would not if she were from mine."

"Well, in any event Gaara, there is another matter I wished to discuss with you."

"What is it?" I asked flatly.

"It involves your sister and Shikamaru."

I groaned "oh, them."

Tsunade chuckled "I figured getting you a bit liquored up earlier might've made you more inclined to talk openly about this."

"What's there to discuss?, it's a sticky situation-"

"And I've come up with an easy answer" Tsunade interrupted me.

I blinked "I'm listening."

"This is just as much a Konoha matter as it is a Suna matter, Shikamaru is very high up the chain over here being amongst our top strategic experts and closing in on a promotion to Jonin and Temari, well, she's your sister and one of your elite guard, she's likewise a higher-up in Sunagakure." I nodded "now, Temari already spends a lot of time here being your main diplomatic envoy to Konoha and Shikamaru is in Sunagakure as we speak, he made it very clear to us before he left that now wherever Temari goes, he goes; he isn't taking this lightly, not in the least."

"Obviously we're not giving up Shikamaru and you're not giving up Temari so here's what I suggest, and it's a mutually advantageous arrangement, throughout the Summer and Autumn months they can live here in Konoha and throughout the Winter and Spring months they will live in Suna." I was about to speak up before Tsunade interrupted me "now I know what you're about to say, what's Shikamaru going to do while he's over there and what's Temari going to do here and here is my suggestion; intelligence sharing, and yes, this ties into what I spoke to you about earlier regarding Akatsuki and Uchiha Sasuke." I blinked, truthfully this was actually not a bad idea "you know you can trust Shikamaru because he'd never betray Temari and we know we can trust Temari because she would never betray Shikamaru, our two villages can benefit from a constant exchange in intelligence."

"Intelligence regarding what, possible movements of Akatsuki?"

"Intelligence regarding everything, it's not like we can expect them to keep secrets from each other anyway so why should our villages keep anything hidden from each other?" I liked this idea.

"It's unprecedented."

"Exactly, and I know how much you like that kind of thing, breaking precedents, thumbing your nose at tradition, blazing new trails in the Shinobi world, movements towards unity, pissing off people like Danzo or my advisers."

"Or the Suna council" I added, almost smirking; "just a few questions then, for one, how would Temari and Shikamaru behave when not in their respective villages, how would we handle missions and such?"

"I was thinking we could treat them like a single unit, they're both tactically extremely intelligent and have skill sets that complement each other perfectly in combat situations."

"So if for example I have a mission for Temari or you have one for Shikamaru, you or me would get the other as a freebie of sorts."

"Exactly, so in exchange for losing one Shinobi for half the year we get extra ones for the other half."

I pondered on that for a moment "hrmn, the only problem I have with that is it seems like I'm getting the short end of the stick; Temari is a much better fighter than Shikamaru."

Tsunade gave me an incredulous look "are you kidding me?, Shikamaru defeated a member of Akatsuki, an immortal member I might add, in singles combat."

My eyes piqued up a bit "I did not know that."

"He was also asked by our Daimyo of the Land of Fire to be part of his personal elite bodyguards, trust me, Shikamaru has a lot under his belt; it's an even trade-off, if anything I think you're the one coming out of it a little better off."

"Fair enough" I answered.

"Also keep in mind that they're going to have a kid and unless it's an extreme situation the other one is likely going to be spending most of their time being a parent" she explained.

I nodded "indeed and now for my last question which pertains to that specifically, what about the child?, what do you think should be done about this?"

Tsunade sighed "...that I don't have an answer for yet."

"We should leave the child's fate up to them" I answered my own question "it doesn't belong to either of us, nor our villages, the child is theirs" I affirmed.

"So I take it you're on board with my idea?" Tsunade inquired.

"...indeed it would seem I am" I answered after a pause.

"Fortunately, it's as much up to you as it is me so my advisers have little say in the matter and this is the only solution I can think of that you'd be willing to get on board with."

I nodded "when would you plan on implementing this?" I inquired.

"Asap if it's okay with you."

I narrowed my eyes "what about while Temari is pregnant?, you don't intend to have her going out on missions with Shikamaru while she's in Konoha do you?"

"Gaara, I'm not a monster; of course I don't!" Tsunade answered with a shout, she seemed angry at my implication, perhaps it offended her a little "I thought it went without saying that while Temari is pregnant she'll be exempt from active duty and utilized only within the village itself" she elaborated.

"Just making sure" I replied.

"Hrmph" Tsunade grunted "next match is starting anyway, looks like one of yours is up" I peered down.

"Next match: Takeshi vs. Yuudai" the announcer called out confirming what Tsunade had just said.

Violating all protocol I shouted down from the balcony at Takeshi "Takeshi! Do not forget what we spoke of yesterday!" to which he shot me a quick glance before refocusing upon the enormous Kumogakure Ninja before him.

"Second match...begin!" the judge shouted and the match was underway...


	8. Chapter 8

We walked back to the village from the desert, it was late and the streets were all but deserted, I held Temari close, shielding her from the cold winds as we walked, the moon was out in full bloom now, big and full on a starless night. "We shouldn't have stayed out this late" I lectured "you might get sick, you need to be taking better care of yourself now" I continued.

"I know" Temari replied "I just needed to get out of there, away from the village; if only for a little while."

I rubbed her back soothingly "feeling better now?" I asked.

"Yeah" she said as we approached her stone dome-shaped house and unlocked the door, entering and closing it behind us, Temari let out a sigh and flopped down into a nearby chair. "...thanks" Temari said after a pause "I needed that" she continued, I nodded back to her silently as I took my seat across from her, the house was small but quaint with paintings lining the walls and flowers tastefully arranged in a vase upon the small coffee table in front of it, artistic sensibilities for such things were one of Temari's talents.

Like most houses in Sunagakure, and indeed in the greater Land of Wind area, the bedroom was underground as it was warmer there during the night and cooler during the day, necessity is the mother of invention as they say and in this hostile land necessity governs most things, or so I am learning; I do prefer Konoha to such a harsh environment however. "You got a lot off your chest back there" I made conversation, Temari was usually the more talkative of the two of us but given the circumstances I felt it was my responsibility, partially as a man, to be of as much comfort as possible to Temari.

Temari shrugged back at me "not like any of it matters anymore" she said with a somber half-frown.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She shook her head "forget it" Temari answered "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

...

I looked across the arena floor, the Kumo Shinobi Yuudai towered over me with a confidant smirk plastered to his face, he wore only loose fitting white trousers, his well-muscled ebony skin on display from the waste up...but I wasn't scared, no, not in the least. A fierce wind raged in my heart, a hurricane that whipped and ripped with sheer desire, the desire to put Yuudai down for what he did to Akira in the Forest of Death, I looked into his eyes, he sneered with confidence at me...I would make him sorry, I would claim vengeance for my friend, claim vengeance for Suna! I am sorry Kazekage-sama but I cannot forgive what this slime standing before me has done, with a sneer of my own I extended my fist and let out a cry "this day will be mine!" Yuudai laughed at me, he said not a word in response. Wasting no more time I immediately unleashed my twelve kunai and sent them sailing forward in a barrage with my Manipulating Attack Blades Jutsu, hoping to catch Yuudai off guard with the sudden attack.

Yuudai dodged quickly and avoided the lions share of my attack, his eyes darted behind to see my kunai continue on their path forward to finally embed themselves in the walls of the arena, then to his arm which now sported a few horizontal slashes from the kunai he had failed to dodge. Yuudai turned back to me and snarled, he flexed his arms backwards as lightning chakra began to accumulate across his chest and biceps "Lightning Release: Shockwave!" Yuudai bellowed and with a great forward thrust of his upper-body sent his own barrage of electricity straight at me.

Quickly, I formed hand seals and built up chakra of my own in my lungs "Wind Release: Air Bullet!" I shouted as I let forth a great burst of air out from my mouth, the attack collided with Yuudai's midway across and blasted it back towards him. Yuudai wheeled his shoulder back and with a growl smacked his redirected attack aside thus dispersing it, then with a loud cry came charging straight towards me; being a long to mid range type myself, I backed off from his advance and leapt into the air.

I formed hand seals to build up wind chakra beneath my feet to give me more altitude and delay my decent as I began my next phase of attack, reaching into my pouches I grabbed a shuriken between each finger "Wind Release: Homing Pinwheel Shuriken Jutsu." One of the shuriken sped out from my hand, spinning rapidly with wind chakra hence the name of the attack, on a guided arc homing in on Yuudai, as he dodged the wind arc altered course to follow and the momentum carried the shuriken to embed in his right shoulder. I repeated the attack, this time unleashing two shuriken.

Yuudai snarled at me and extended his palms "Lightning Release: Twin Bolt Attack!" as two streams of lightning shot forth from his outstretched palms to intercept my shuriken, but they cut right through the lightning, after all wind chakra cuts through lightning charka, and embedded into his open palms. I couldn't stay airborne anymore but as I descended I let forth my final barrage of shuriken, all five of them in a single wave, with any luck it would be enough to weaken this brute enough for the final attack. The five shuriken went in a perfect horizontal wave and try as he might Yuudai couldn't shake them and they embedded themselves along his side and ribcage as he dodged, I landed gracefully as Yuudai collapsed to one knee, he looked pretty weakened.

Sensing my moment I clasped my hands into seals "Wind Release: Great Breakthrough!" as a mighty gust of wind blew forward,catching the downed Yuudai and carrying him back first into the thick stone wall of the circular arena with a loud 'thud', he appeared stunned. 'Time to finish him off' I thought to myself and crossed my wrists in front of me in the shape of a cross chop, running forward I leapt into the air going completely horizontal as I built wind chakra all around to suspend, rotate and propel myself directly at Yuudai. As I sped towards him I cried "Human Torpedo Jutsu!" and my spinning cross chop propelled by wind chakra collided right with his throat, the force of the blow created a huge line crack in the wall behind Yuudai that crumbled in on itself exposing the interior masonry of the ring.

Yuudai gazed at me, his eyes vacant and a look of shock on his face, he coughed up blood onto my face as I remained suspended horizontally before him for a few brief moments until I landed, stomach first on the ground before him. I struggled to get back up, looking up I noticed Yuudai was still gazing ahead blankly, he hadn't moved "I *pant* did it *pant*" I spoke aloud between deep breaths as I propped myself onto my hands and arduously arched my back to a vertical position and pushed with my legs to stand up. I stumbled backwards as I rose and bent with my hands on my knees to catch my breath...when all of a sudden I felt a huge shadow looming over me, I looked up and there was Yuudai, smirking with blood still leaking from his mouth; if I hadn't been so exhausted I probably would have shit myself.

Yuudai chuckled a low, bassy chuckle "now it's 'ma turn little man" he said jollily yet still managed to be downright terrifying and before I knew it a swift knee crashed right into my solar plexus with enough force to launch me into the air. Yuudai wheeled his arms back like before "Lighting Release: Shockwave!" he cried and let forth his attack, and this time prone as I was and out of any wind chakra left to counter the attack struck me dead in the air, I felt the pulsing electricity surge through me, frying out my insides. I dropped from the air a smoldering wreck, now barely conscious and paralyzed I was helpless, I tried to get up but it was no use, I couldn't move a muscle, Yuudai was coming closer now, that smirk still on his face. Slowly Yuudai strolled right up to me and sent me rolling across the ground with a snappy kick to my ribs, feeling started to return as the electricity ran its course through me and I started rising on my palms when I felt a heavy foot thud onto my back, sending me back onto my stomach.

I heard Yuudai chuckle from above as he ground his heel into my spine "agh-ahieee..." I sounded in pain as I tried desperately to writhe out from under him when suddenly I felt a jolt of electricity, I looked around and saw his foot crackling with lightning chakra.

"Lighting Release: Coup de Grace" he said with a laugh as Lightning suddenly poured into my from above, the only thing I could hear louder than my screams was Yuudai's laughter...

...

Wasting absolutely no more time I sand teleported into the ring and covered Takeshi with a protective shield of sand "this has gone far enough" I said plainly to the young man before me, he was easily four or five years younger than me yet nearly my height and half again as broad and yet I could plainly see the fear and intimidation in his eyes as he realized what was going on.

"Sa-sabaku no Gaara" Yuudai muttered as the medical-nin quickly began rushing onto the scene.

"K-k-k-Kazeka-ge...sama..." Takeshi weakly muttered and clenched at my ankle "I'm...sorry...I...failed..." he struggled to utter before slipping into what seemed to be unconsciousness, I continued to eye Yuudai as the medical-nin rushed by and took Takeshi away on a stretcher as I did not trust this young Kumo Sinobi's intentions.

The Kumo instructors all quickly dropped down into the arena itself prompting my own instructors to do likewise, they gathered around and all stared each other down, one of the Kumo instructors shouted "this is an outrage!, how dare a Kage interfere with a match between Genin!"

"He was going to kill my student!" Matsuri shouted back, she was usually quick to defend me regardless but she was operating under no such rationale now "had Kazekage Gaara-sama not interfered when he did *I* would have run in" she continued angrily.

"Pfeh" dismissed the Kumo instructor, whom I surmised was probably of Chunin rank due to his lack of a flack jacket "it's part of the game, every Shinobi knows the risks when they enter, you're coddling a generations of weaklings, failure equals death; that is the Shinobi way!" he snarled.

Matsuri's arms were trembling in rage "you savage...pig...bastard...I'll...I'LL TAKE YOU ON RIGHT NOW!" Matsuri screamed and got in his face, which I will admit was a rather comical picture as Matsuri is a short and petite woman and the Kumo instructor before her was a tall and broadly muscled blonde statuesque figure of a man.

The Kumo instructor let out a snorty, condescending laugh "awwe, does the little girl wanna tussle?; here, I'll make it fair for you" he chided then put his arm behind his back, bending forward and sticking his chin out...and within seconds Matsuri had knocked him on his ass and was sitting on his back with his arm twisted behind him.

"MATSURI!" I scolded "let him up at once! This is not the time nor the place!" I continued.

"yes...Gaara-sama" she reluctantly obeyed but as soon as she got up the enraged instructor lunged for her, but was blocked by Baki.

"Going somewhere?" Baki hissed.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" I roared before the situation got further out of hand and pointed back towards the stands "BACK TO YOUR SIDE, ALL OF YOU!" I shouted at my instructors, they quickly complied as it was extremely rare for me to raise my voice, but, on the rare occasions I did it was understood by all that it meant I was to be obeyed without question. Turning back I faced the Kumo instructors, whom were now laughing and poking fun at the Chunin who just got taken down by Matsuri in a few seconds, Yuudai was still staring, unsure what he was supposed to do and plainly still terrified. I held out my hand to young man "it was a good match up until the end" I commented, he eyed me leeringly "you're a talented fighter, I'd like to shake your hand in hopes that such an incident won't be repeated in the future" I continued flatly to which cautiously he reached out and grasped my hand, as soon as he did I wrapped it in sand thus tethering it to me. "You're not the brightest, are you?" I said, continuing in my monotone as I began slowly, and painfully, crushing his hand.

"Ahhh-AIEEEEEE!" Yuudai screamed and tried to pull away but couldn't budge an inch, he flailed with his free arm at me, lighting chakra and all, but it bounced harmlessly off my shield of sand as The Kumo instructors rushed towards us but I stopped them dead in their tracks with a harsh glare.

"Does it feel good?" I asked, turning my eyes back to Yuudai "feel good to pick on someone weaker than you?" I continued, Yuudai continued screaming and whining like a baby as I slowly increased pressure on his hand. It didn't take long, a few seconds at most, before he fell to his knees with tears in his eyes begging me to let go "how does it feel being on the other end?" I asked "know that I could cripple you if I wanted, however, I am merely choosing not to" I continued, still in dead monotone.

"Please I'm sorry! Let me go! I won't do it again! Please, ahhhhhch" Yuudai whined and finally after a few more seconds I felt like my point had been made and I relinquished hold of his hand, which he quickly clutched to his chest and ran back to the Kumo side of the arena weeping like a child.

After an awkward pause and a clearing of the throat the observer finally announced "Winner: Yuudai."

"You can be sure we'll be bringing this up to the Raikage at our soonest opportunity!" one of the Kumo instructors threatened, I ignored him and as I ascended back up Baki was nearly pulling his hair out "what are you trying to do!" he said in a loud whisper "get us disqualified?, start a war!" whom I also ignored as I continued upward.

I muttered to myself "...I hate bullies" as I retook my seat beside Tsunade.

...

I took a deep breath, my mind was racing 'so...Naruto might not even be happy with Sakura, there's still a chance I can get him!' I thought 'but...I just kissed Gaara, more than once!' the stark realization of my predicament kicked in...now I didn't know what to do. These past two days I've grown so close to Gaara, I've come to understand just how sweet and kind he actually is deep inside and my feelings for him have grown so strong over such a short period of time; from the day he bought me ramen and came to comfort me in the woods to the kiss we just shared, it's all been practically magical. I feel as though I intrinsically understand him, better than I've ever understood anyone before, it's uncanny what's developed between the two of us in just two days...and to think, I used to think him frightening, now that was perhaps the last adjective I'd now use to describe Gaara. I kissed him because I'd never felt what I'd felt at that moment before, I kissed him because no one had ever said such nice things to me before, but above all, I kissed him because I felt he needed to be kissed, needed to be shown affection to by someone who could relate to him.

I sighed to myself "but" I said out loud because indeed there was a huge 'but' attached to all of this, a proverbial giant gorilla in the room; he was the Kazekage, and as Kazekage his loyalty and indeed his responsibilities lied entirely within another village. Heck, the only reason he's here now is because of the Chunin exams and once those are over it's unlikely I'll see him again anytime soon after he leaves...and then I'll just be lonely again 'it was just plain dumb of you to kiss him!' I scolded myself in my mind. Conversely if I were to to, well, steal Naruto away from Sakura then I could have Naruto forever, the boy of my dreams; my childhood love, but, where would that leave what's happened between me and Gaara? I buried my face in my hands out of a mix of shame, confusion and embarrassment at this entire situation "I don't know what to do" I muttered to myself "I need advice..."

...

I was shocked by what I heard "can you repeat that, Temari?" I asked incredulously.

"I said I want to have our baby in Konoha, not here" Temari restated plainly.

'So I did heard her correctly' I thought to myself, "what?" I asked flatly "I had assumed-"

"I know what you assumed" Temari cut me off "but, the fact of the matter is that..." Temari paused and sighed "I've fucked up with my family here, fucked it up beyond repair, my brothers don't trust me and they'll never see me as a fellow sibling in the same way they see each other" Temari took hold of my hands for added emphasis "you're my family now" she stated. I let out a soft sigh as Temari continued "at this point your family is more like a family to me than my own is, your father and I seem to get along even if your mother doesn't care for me very much. As far as your friends go; Choji is an absolute sweetheart and I'm willing to tolerate Ino for you even if I can't stand her, heck, here I don't even have any friends...if you haven't noticed I have something of a reputation around this village as a cold, pretentious bitch; I'm respected, but far from 'liked.'"

I was a little surprised, not in a bad way though as this was actually playing out to make things a little easier for me; now I won't have to never heard the end of it from my mother about me 'running off for a year' or how she 'never got to see the birth of her grandchild.' "If you're sure" I began "but, there's the issue of you getting leave; I'm authorized by Hokage Tsunade to remain here as long as need be, you on the other hand have no such authorization from Gaara, and he's not here to ask presently" I pointed out.

Temari gave a slight smirk as she returned her hands to her side "that's why I'd like to make leave as soon as possible" she answered "we can go to Konoha now and ask Gaara once we get there."

I piqued a brow "could we not just wait for his return?"

Temari shook her head "no, he's more likely to agree if we put him on the spot in Konoha like that; I know him well enough to know that at least."

I scratched my chin "and how do you intend to get permission from Kankuro to leave, didn't Gaara leave him in charge?"

"Plfft, he can kiss my ass" Temari snorted rudely.

"Fair enough" I replied as I did not particularly care for Kankuro myself and had little invested in respecting his temporary position of authority "what do you intend to tell Gaara once we're there?" I asked.

Temari shrugged "it doesn't really matter, just that I want to remain in Konoha for my pregnancy; he won't ask about my reasoning" she said, a tad somberly. It seemed a sad state of affairs to me, that the Sand Siblings had no one but one another growing up yet remained bitterly divided over grudges and wounds of the past, however, I chose to not inquire further; Temari already said she didn't want to talk about it any more.

"Well, do you want to make leave tonight then?, there's no sense in waiting if you're certain of this" I pointed out; even though I had arrived roughly a week ago I couldn't wait to make leave from this place as I truly detested the climate here, scorching in the morning/freezing at night, that and people were far nosier and pushier than I was used to in the Land of Fire.

Temari smirked wryly at me before taking a seat in front of me "well, before we go..." she said flirtatiously with a snicker as she unbuttoned my fly and slipped her hand in my pants.

"Well, I suppose there *is* time for that" I said with a wry grin as she stroked my manhood to life...

...

I sat arms folded as I observed the exam with disinterest, out the corner of my vision I eyed the various Daimyo and wealthy businessmen gathered to watch the event chatting away, no doubt discussing their under-handed deals, betting their dirty money on the bloody spectacle before them; it sickened me. I had little hands on experience with just how deeply corrupt our Shinobi world had become until I became Kazekage and at first I was more optimistic about things, but, after nearly being assassinated and dealing with two more years of this garbage I find my exuberance of old has quickly died out. I sighed "when exactly did our rituals for advancement change from something sacred into a whorehouse?" I thought aloud "it was after the 3rd Shinobi War, yes?" I continued, a hint of contempt in my voice.

Tsunade shrugged lightly "it brings in revenue."

"Revenue" I commented forlornly "is that truly what Shinobi should be concerned with?"

Tsunade sort of snickered "you sound like my grandfather" she said "if he were alive today he definitely wouldn't have liked how the Shinobi world's turned out; it's not entirely in keeping with the old 'spirit' of things in some ways."

I faux laughed "I am beginning to doubt this Shinobi world ever had a 'spirit' of any kind, in fact, I am beginning to think ever striving to become Kazekage in the first place was a waste of my time all along" I commented, which to be honest was only half true but I was prone to exaggeration and hyperbole when I was upset or angered.

"Why's that?" Tsunade asked.

I gestured to the arena patrons "all this, this display of whoredom that we call a Chunin exam, it is just one example but it certainly serves as an abject summery of my point."

Tsunade shrugged "don't think anyone else would've run in and saved that kid like you did earlier." I scoffed "don't scoff at that" Tsunade immediately interrupted "that was noble of you, and sorry for saying this but the Kazekages of the past weren't exactly known for their nobility; it's not something that should be ignored, perhaps if you were not here as Kazekage that kid would've died." Tsunade then chuckled "plus, it certainly takes a pair to risk international incident just for the sake of teaching a bully a lesson" she added.

"...you should be paying more attention to the match down there" I pointed out as a way of indicating I didn't want to speak any further.

I said nothing more for the remainder of the next few matches.

...

I took a deep breath as I knocked on the door, I hadn't spoken to her in some time but she'd always been there for me before and I couldn't think of anyone else to ask for advice when it came to my current predicament.

Slowly, the door opened "yes?...oh, Hinata?"

"Kurenai sensei" I said with a bow.

"There's no need for that, you're a Chunin now; I'm not your sensei anymore" Kurenai shook her head "why are you here?" she asked.

"Because I-I don't know who else I can turn to" she looked confusedly at me "c-can I come in?" I stuttered out meekly, I felt so awkward asking for help.

"Wes, yes of course" Kurenai replied and promptly invited me inside...

...

Gears, nuts, bolts, the creaking sounds of engineering echoing in dimly lit dank basements; this was my domain, where I truly felt at home, where I could exercise my creativity uninhibited by all the bullshit and authority encroaching around me out there. "Ugh" I grunted to myself "can't wait until Gaara gets back, I don't have the patience for dealing with this crap" I continued to myself, it was all so fucking pointless, sitting around with a bunch of old farts never saying what they mean, using doubletalk, plotting against you and each other to further their own petty schemes. All the while nothing ever gets accomplished and our village continues to be left in the dust, fuck did I ever hate the damned council, I have no idea how Gaara has the patience to deal with their byzantine asshattery and utterly self-defeating circular logic; it was like they did everything in their power to ensure every meeting was utterly pointless.

It was always the same exact song and dance; everyone talks a lot without actually saying anything while occasionally directing a few underhanded jabs at political rivals, that goes on for eight hours and then we disbar having effectively accomplished absolutely nothing. I had no clue who Gaara put up with this shit every goddamned day, I was about ready to just start killing everyone in the room after five minutes, and of course anytime someone actually 'does' suggest something new or productive the entire council votes it down as though they are all possessed of one hive-mind driven towards the singular goal of ensuring everything is as inefficient as possible. "Pfeh" I voiced in disgust, not like it matters anyway; Gaara's the real power in Sunagakure and they all know it, the authority and respect he commands from the Shinobi of this village borders on the realm of fanaticism and has ever since he returned from death after giving his life protecting us all.

In a bizarre way that attack by Akatsuki was the best thing that ever happened to us, before then Gaara was something of a puppet Kazekage with little real power beyond with the council allowed him and little political clout with the Shinobi themselves who by in large still feared or mistrusted him. That all changed after then, and it changed hard, now when Gaara says 'jump' practically the entire village asks 'how high' so instigating reforms and getting the Shinobi behind whatever measure Gaara supports or proposes has been a simple process; if slow and aggravating due to the council always fighting him every step of the way. Still, I'm not sure if things are happening the way Gaara really wants them to, last me and him spoke he sounded pretty pessimistic about the village and the Shinobi world in general which I guess I can't really blame him for, the world's a pretty shitty place overall; but if it weren't it probably wouldn't need Shinobi.

I laughed to myself at the irony of that as I continued tightening the gears on the puppet laid out on my workbench, it's hilarious when you think about it; Shinobi trying to bring peace to the world when the only reason we exist is because there is no peace in this world, kinda suicidal in a way. To be honest, you can take that reasoning a step further and say that if we didn't exist then this world would be a much more peaceful place, eh, whatever; that's Gaara's job to worry about that shit, not mine, can't wait until he gets back so I can go back to my regular duties. "Hrrrmn, really isn't all that much to improve on here" I said to myself as I looked over one of Chiyo's ten white puppets, which I've been familiarizing myself with over the past two years, though I've recolored them to black as to better fit my own motif. "If only the puppet brigades of old weren't such a secretive lot I'd understand how these puppets worked a bit better" I mused, but as it was I was pretty much learning through a combination of opening them up and repeating a process of trial and error, Chiyo never did write down or teach anyone how these puppets were supposed to work, and Sasori abandoned Suna long before he had a chance to teach.

"Speaking of Sasori" I spoke aloud and opened my desk drawer retrieving that most fascinating of pieces, Sasori's heart, which despite its name wasn't exactly a 'heart' and wasn't entirely organic; though it did secrete a purple blood like substance when Sasori died according to Sakura. It was a really a strange thing, cylindrical, composed of hundreds of tiny little internal gears and valves of which their function I could only guess at interwoven with organic tissue, for two years I've studied this damned thing and I still only barely understand it or how it works. I turned it over in my hands, examining it for like the thousandth time "how the heck do you work?" I asked it as though the inanimate object would tell me "ugh! Fuck this shit; I need a drink!" I exclaimed in frustration and grabbed a bottle of liquor I had stashed in the bottom drawer of my workbench.


	9. Chapter 9

***Note: Just to clarify the events that happened during the Temari, Shikamaru and Kankuro perspective jumps were occurring earlier in the timeline; a few days before Gaara had arrived at Konohagakure***

_We've been traveling for a few days now, passed the Land of Wind border and deep into the Land of Fire, we should be upon Konoha by tomorrow. Shikamaru has been livelier than usual, somehow I think he could not leave the Land of Wind fast enough; an attitude which, at least for the moment, I seem to share. It's dark and the thick trees above don't let in much in the way of moonlight, as of now I'm writing by candlelight and it's proving somewhat a strain so this will be a shorter entry than most._

_I'm somewhat nervous to be honest, everything is changing in my life...and I'm not entirely sure where things are headed, or if I'm even cut out to be a mother, actually, scratch that I KNOW! I'm not cut out to be a mother, not at all._

_I'm keeping just how nervous I am hidden, I can't let it show...I'm just too proud I guess._

_It's all been so fast, I haven't had much time to process everything, to be honest, I still haven't processed much of this at all, everything it means, all the changes...ugh!, I can't even think about it for too long or too deeply without feeling ill. My eyes hurt, can't keep writing, too tired. I'll write in you later diary._

_ Temari_

"...and that's the situation really" I finished, Kurenai's early expression of shock had slowly begun to leave her face "I just...I'm so conflicted, I don't know what I feel anymore" I continued to which Kurenai slowly nodded.

"There's definitely a lot to consider here" she voiced in reply "Gaara will not be here on a permanent basis, I doubt he will be staying long past the conclusion of the Chunin exams" Kurenai pointed out "and you have known him for only two days now, yes?" I nodded back to her "it is also entirely possible, even probable, that you're displacing your feelings for Naruto towards him" she continued. I sighed, from a logical standpoint it was difficult to argue with that "there is also his status as Kazekage to consider, you are a Shinobi of Konoha and the conflicts presented therein should be self-evident to you, to be romantically involved with him on any kind of permanent basis you'd have to remain there in Sunagakure" Kurenai continued. I froze, I hadn't thought of that, "that is a major issue to think about" Kuranei followed up.

I slowly nodded back "I wasn't thinking about the future..." I replied mousily, trailing off at the end of my sentence and averting my eyes to the ground.

Kurenai nodded back "that's the thing about acts of passion, they exist entirely within the moment, forcing us to forgo such considerations" she paused for a moment "...in that way they're beautiful" Kurenai said with a sigh when all of a sudden the door slowly creaked open as a male voice spoke. Aloud.

"Hello."

Kurenai's eyes piqued up and her lips curled into a smile "oh, Yasu; you're home early" Kurenai said back as the man came into view, he was a short and wiry-thin middle-aged man, clean shaven, with short dirty blonde hair and glasses.

"Well, with the Chunin exams happening right now there wasn't all that much business to be had so I figured I'd close up shop for today" he explained as he entered, then stopped as he noticed me.

"Oh!" Kureani popped up "this is a former student of mine, Hyuga Hinata."

Yasu smiled and gave a polite bow "I recall you mentioning her once before, you're heiress to the Hyuga; correct?"

I nodded back timidly "y-yes" I stammered, now made nervous by the sudden interruption when, slowly, a two year old boy poked his head out cautiously from behind Yasu's leg.

"Also, little Asuma was missing his mommy" Yasu added with a chuckle, I gasped slightly, the child was truly the spitting image of Sarutobi Asuma, only without the facial hair obviously but still the resemblance was uncanny.

"There's my baby boy!" Kurenai announced with a smile, extending her arms in a warm embrace.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Asuma exclaimed as he ran into his mother's arms, still cautiously eying me "I'm sorry Hinata, he's a little shy" this was the first time I'd met Kurenai's son, I hadn't really seen her much ever since she'd retired from active duty to raise him.

I was feeling awkward intruding on this family moment however and was about to excuse myself when there was another knock on the door "now who could that be?" Yasu thought aloud as he walked back over to open the door "oh! Hello!" he exclaimed "...but I thought you'd left?" Yasu continued confusedly as I heard footsteps enter.

"There was a slight change in plans" I heard a familiar voice say, looking up I immediately recognized the voice as belonging to Nara Shikamaru and flanking close behind was Temari, Gaara's elder sister and my feeling of awkwardness suddenly increased one hundredfold.

"Oh! Hello there Shikamaru" there was a slight pause as Kurenai added with a nod "Temari" to which Temari nodded back at slightly with a fake half-smirk and a soft snort.

"Weren't you going to stay in Sunagakure for much longer?" Yasu asked.

Shimakaru shrugged "as I just said, there was a change in plans" little Asuma's eyes lit up as soon as he saw Shikamaru.

"Uncle Shikamaru!" he exclaimed and waved frantically.

"Hey there kiddo!" Shikamaru replied with a rare inflexion of excitement to his voice as he approached.

Temari hung back, hands on hips and sneering slightly, she eyed Yasu up and down with a contemptuous glance "who's this guy?" she asked rudely.

"Kurenai's husband" Shikamaru answered as he squatted down to eye level with Asuma.

"She went from that meathead instructor of yours to this shrimp?" Temari replied incredulously.

"Don't be rude Temari" Shikamaru said with a sigh as Kurenai was clearly biting her tongue.

Yasu laughed "no offense taken as it's a bit odd I'll admit, I am nothing like Sarutobi Asuma was; I'm not even a Shinobi" he answered with a comically self-deprecating tone.

Temari kinda 'hrmphed' "you're not a Ninja?" she asked, still taking a contemptuous tone.

"No, I just own a deli; I came to Konoha and set up shop a few years ago, I heard that if you were willing to deal with the hazards and danger of owning shop in a Hidden Village it can be pretty profitable" Yasu answered.

Temari let out a mock laugh and Shikamaru appeared to be ignoring her "now remember Asuma, I promised to make sure you grew up to be just as strong and cool as your father was; you keeping yourself strong?"

"Mmmn-hmmm!" Asuma replied enthusiastically and flexed his little arm, attempting to look as menacing as a two year old can manage.

Shikamaru laughed quietly "alright, impressive!" he praised .

Asuma smiled "I'm gonna be really, really, really strong!" he boasted.

"Oie you" Temari suddenly called out "you're that Hyuga girl, right?" CRAP she was talking to me, I was hoping if I just shut up and didn't say anything they'd ignore me. "Hinata I think, right?" Temari continued.

I gulped "y-y-y-yeah."

"You know you're lucky to be alive" she continued, I clammed up, "you gotta remember the forest of death" Temari pressed.

"Temari, now's not the time" Shikamaru spoke up.

Temari laughed "I'm just saying she's lucky is all, if Gaara had decided he really wanted to turn around and kill her ass I would not have been able to stop him."

"He-" I gulped and stuttered "he...wouldn't have hurt me..." I replied mousily "I know that for a fact" I continued; struggling against my fear to maintain eye contact as I found Termari rather intimidating.

Temari didn't respond, but took on a quizzical expression "well, anyway; we were just stopping by for a short visit as we have business to attend to" Shikamaru said as he rose to a standing position "but I'll see you soon little guy" he directed at Asuma then bowed "take care Kurenai" she nodded back "and you too Yasu, see you later Hinata" and with that, they left.

As soon as the door closed Kurenai, who had been unusually quiet the whole time, let out a deep exhale "'.Her" Kurenai said, emphasizing each word.

Yasu shrugged "those Wind folk can be like that sometimes, I don't pay it much mind" he said calmly "I think the desert makes them grumpy" he added with a laugh.

"I've met quite a few Shinobi from Sunagakure and none of them come anywhere close to being as rude as she is-" \

"you shouldn't judge her too harshly" I spoke up and Kurenai gave me a shocked glance "her and her brothers, they-" I paused "they didn't have a happy life" it was easy for me to infer that from what I've seen.

Kurenai noticed my activated Byakugan which I had turned on silently "she has similar wounds to the ones that Gaara has" I added "I think she acts like that when she's nervous or embarrassed or when she thinks that people don't like her, it's a defense mechanism; she creates a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Kurenai kinked her head "when did you become an armchair psychologist?" she asked.

"Well I...I noticed when I was using my Byakugan that people's chakra fields change depending on what they're feeling, no one in the Hyuga clan has really explored examining chakra beyond how it can be useful in combat, so I didn't find much written about this." I paused "so for the past year or so I've been doing my own...research?, I guess you could call it, looking at people's chakra when they're happy or when they're sad or angry or envious or any emotion really, and over time I've learned to examine how it moves and changes to...read people, kind of." Kurenai seemed quite fascinated, I gulped again and continued "and, I've also learned that if I really focus I can see what are like...holes...in people's chakra, like black spots, or pieces ripped off, wounds; wounds that are so powerful they resonate in someone's chakra field." I sighed "and I could see that Temari really isn't a bad person, so, you shouldn't judge her to be; she doesn't act that way to be mean" I finished.

Kurenai 'hrrmed' to herself "if you were looking inside her, then you know..." she trailed off.

"That, she's pregnant?" I finished her sentence, Kurenai nodded back to me in response.

...

As Konohamaru marched back proudly after his impressive victory the announcer cleared his throat "next match: Akhom vs. Kaito."

I nudged Gaara "oie, looks like another one of yours is up" I pointed out, drawing his attention back to the exam.

Gaara peered down "doesn't matter, this one's going to be over quick" he said and I gave him an incredulous look.

"He *is* up against one of our top new graduates from the Genin academy" I followed up.

Gaara shook his head "just watch" he said confidently with the slightest hint of a sly smirk.

I watched the kid walk out, Akhom was a little on the small side and dressed like a typical Sand Shinobi in dull beige colors with sandy-blonde hair, curiously, he carried a scimitar at his side in a decorative, jeweled scabbard from which he displayed the Sunagakure insignia. Kaito was taller and slightly broader with longish dark hair, he also graduated the top of his class, Gaara continued watching on silently, almost with disinterest as though he already knew the outcome; he had no reason to be so confidant. The fighters approached each other "sixth match, begin!" and as soon as those words left the announcer's mouth Akhom drew his scimitar and immediately began forming one handed seals in his off hand. By the time Katio had clasped his hands together to begin forming his own seals Akhom had already finished and moved with such a sudden burst of speed it seemed as though he simply 'appeared' behind Kaito. Before Kaito had time to so much as turn his head let alone take any evasive action Akhom wheeled his arm back and smacked Kaito with the flat side of his scimitar square on the base of the neck, Kaito took two stumbling steps forward and collapsed, unconscious; all this happened in the span of about six seconds.

The crowd was dead quiet as Akhom silently sheathed his scimitar and walked back to the stands, my jaw was agape and the announcer was utterly speechless, Gaara displayed one of his rare smirks "it would've been over even quicker, but Akhom wanted to make absolutely sure he won without causing the boy any permanent injury" he said.

The announcer finally composed himself "winner: Akhom" he said.

I turned to Gaara "there's no way that kid's a Genin!" I shouted.

Gaara shrugged "truth be told, Akhom's skill level is that of a Chunin's at least; I gave him the option of bypassing the exam altogether but he opted to take it anyway."

I sighed and shook my head "how the heck did he learn one handed seals at his age, let alone get so good at them!" I vented as the medical-nin carried Kaito off.

"He practiced a lot" Gaara commented dryly, "how many more matches do we have?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Five or six more I think, and these are just the semi-finals; the actual finals will be held next week."

Gaara blinked "what?" he asked flatly.

"You didn't know?, we had a 'ton' of entrants make it this year, more than the notorious Chunin exams you took part in, even after the preliminary elimination games there were still sixteen remaining."

Gaara went silent for a moment, then spoke "...so I will have to remain for another week at least."

"I apologize for the inconvenience" Gaara did not respond, he seemed suddenly lost in thought...

...

'Another week' I thought to myself, and here I was thinking that I would be leaving shortly allowing me to simply pretend the incident with Hyuga Hinata had never occurred and speak not again of it, but remaining here longer complicates that and yet I am, happy? I cannot ignore the sudden good feeling that rushed through me upon knowing I would be able to spend more time here with Hinata, but at the same time that means I need to make sense of what transpired earlier, else things are bound to get very awkward and as romantic as the notion of 'pursuing this' so to speak may be, it is simply impractical. Besides, it is ultimately clear to me that whatever 'feelings' she may have for me are simply displaced emotions from her affections for Naruto, after all, it was naught but a day ago that her feelings took an enormous blow, largely in part due to Naruto's stupidity, but I digress, the girl must be quite emotionally confused.

I sighed to myself 'I'm not entirely blameless for this' I thought, indeed, I had been acting far too, well, _nice_ around her, to a level which was entirely unprofessional and perhaps even inappropriate which is entirely unlike me but when she's around...suddenly none of those things matter to me anymore. Agh! Again I find myself lost in thought about her! I've never spent this much time thinking about a single person in my life, let alone one I've only spoken to for two days, gotta stop this, alright no more distractions, focusing entirely on the matches starting...now!

...nope still can't stop thinking about her, well fuck me; that didn't work, I touched my finger to my lips 'what I wouldn't give to feel her lips pressed to mine again' I thought reflexively 'dammit Gaara, stop it!' I yelled at myself inside my head 'nothing distracts you like this!, you're the most focused and singlemindedly determined person you know!' I continued.

"She *is* rather cute" Tsunade said out loud with a laugh, I turned my eyes sharply to her with a glare.

"What are you-"

"Don't play dumb Gaara, I make it my business to know what goes on in my village" rage was building up inside me at her words but I wasn't letting it show, Tsunade laughed again "you're a funny kid, Gaara" she said. My hands clenched into fists at being called 'kid' as Tsunade continued "you're smart, but right now you're being too smart for your own good."

"What are you talking ab-"

"you're thinking too much" Tsunade interrupted me "she just wants to spend time around you without having to worry about the future or whatever it is that's going through your head right now." Tsundae's words had rendered me silent "and deep down that's what you want as well, so, just enjoy each other while it lasts, it could just be for the rest of this week, it could be until 'next time' whenever that is or it could be for the rest of your lives; you just don't know" she finished.

"...why are you telling me this?" I asked, my anger subsiding.

"Because I'm a romantic at heart and I hate seeing stupid young people repress their feelings for one another because of equally stupid reasons" Tsunade replied bluntly, prompting a small chuckle out of me. "Anyways, while you weren't paying attention another one of yours, Odji I think his name was, just mopped the floor with some Genin from Iwagakure in under a minute" Tsunade said with a sigh 'seems the new training program overhaul has been a success' I mused to myself in thought.

...

I was nervous, and more than a little embarrassed at myself, 'why didn't Naruto lock the damn door, why did that asshole Kiba have to tell *everyone*, why did Tsunade shove my drunk ass out at Naruto like that' my thoughts were racing. I sighed "what's done is done" I muttered lowly, I can't lie...it's not as though I didn't enjoy myself and as far as I could tell so did Naruto, but when Naruto woke up he acted very strange and left in an awful hurry 'maybe Naruto really isn't sure what he feels anymore' my train of thought continued. I kept thinking as I walked down the street my head lowered towards the ground 'this really has been a very arms length relationship' I thought to myself, even from the get go it's always been me pushing and Naruto backing off, maybe I'm being too pushy...or...maybe I'm really the only one who feels anything for the other.

It's entirely possible that all Naruto feels, or ever felt, for me in this way is a physical attraction...I mean, the last time he ever acted like he was into me was when we were kids and he had a crush on me, and childhood crushes aren't exactly based on anything deep or meaningful...I know that one personally. I kept walking, a bit more briskly now, with a bit more force in my steps as I remembered the past, that name flashed through my mind 'Sasuke' what a strange and baffling mix of emotions that name arises from me; mostly anger now, abandonment, betrayal, hurt, anger that I ever knew him, anger at myself for ever liking him. My hands clenched into fists "...I hope you never come back" I whispered bitterly to myself, these past years have allowed ample time for reflection and have gone a long way towards changing my perspective on things, I used to see the world in such simple terms; that's changed, but such is life.

Life and time have changed much though, we're not kids anymore for one thing; Naruto's grown, he'll be twenty this year and I just turned twenty, he's pushing 185cm now too and is carrying a little more muscle, I'm at 175cm myself, I had a big growth spurt, so I'm standing head and shoulders over pretty much all the other girls now. I looked down at my body, my breasts were still smaller than I'd like even if they have filled out a little, however, much to my annoyance it's primarily been my hips and backside that've done the 'filling out' and even more to my annoyance has been people staring at it!, at least when people stare at your boobs you can catch them in the act. Ino joked that my butt grew out of a bodily need for a natural counter-balance to my 'giant forehead', I just about rang her neck for that one; she's lucky I like her otherwise she wouldn't get away with half the shit she says.

Speaking of Ino, she was on chief medical-nin duty for this year's exams instead of me, which is fine by me; I could use the break and Ino needs the experience, besides, this is more important to me right now; I'd bumped into Rock Lee not less than ten minutes ago, he said last he saw Naruto was headed in this direction.

…

I saw her, she hadn't seen me yet, I sighed to myself; I'd finally figured my feelings out and I needed to tell her, even if she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. I waved Sakura down and she caught glimpse of me, she sprinted towards me and within moments her arms where thrown around me "Naurto! I've been looking all over for you" I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back so that we were looking each other in the eye, she looked confused.

I took a deep breath "Sakura, I've got to get this off my chest and I need to do it all in one go so please don't interrupt" I began, she nodded slowly, her eyes betraying her trepidation "from the beginning of our relationship I've had some issues with it that I haven't quite been able to put my finger on-"

"are you backing out on me now?"

"I said please don't interrupt!"

"As I was saying, I've had some issues from the beginning, some reason I didn't want to go into this that I didn't understand, at first I thought it was out of loyalty to Sasuke but I've realized that isn't the case. You've told me that your feelings for Sasuke were because of a childhood crush, right?"

Sakura nodded "yeah" she replied in an annoyed tone "nothing more" she clarified.

"That's kind of my point exactly" I said to which Sakura gave me a quizzical glare. I began again "your feelings for Sasuke were just girly fantasies and hormones."

"Exactly!" Sakura interrupted "that's why I keep telling you my feelings lie with you."

I sighed, she wasn't getting it "when did I first develop my feelings for you?" I asked.

Suddenly Sakura seemed to get where I was going with this and her expression turned angry "THAT IS BULLSHIT!" she shouted "these feelings have developed over the course of working as a team, growing older together, spending time with one another!"

"I'm not talking about 'your' feelings Sakura, I'm talking about 'mine'!" I raised my voice. Sakura glared back at me "if your romantic feelings for Sasuke were nothing more than a childish crush what's to say that mine for you aren't the same?" Sakura fell silent "yeah I had a crush on you, but we were kids then y'know?, feelings change, your feelings changed and I think…" I paused, Sakura had a look of horror on her face.

"…naruto" she barely managed to utter "please don't say what I think you're going to say."

I took a deep breath "…I think that with the passing years my feelings may have changed too, I just don't know if I view you that way anymore and I need a break to figure that out for myself so, for now at least, I'm saying we need to take a break from each other."

Sakura went quiet and I noticed her hands clench into fists, I winced in anticipation to get socked but instead Sakura just lowered her head and wept "...no, that's not what you're saying" she uttered lowly "there's no 'we' in this at all" she continued. Sakura raised her head sharply to face me, tears were running down her face from her eyes "you're saying that 'you' want a break from 'me' don't try to word this like it's something mutual"

"Sakura, I-"

"Three fucking years Naruto!" she shouted "that's how long it took of me pestering and asking for you to finally say 'yes'." Sakura wiped the tears from her face with her arm "do you think I enjoyed that, that it was pleasant for me?, being rejected by the boy who used to have a crush on me over and over again after having labored my affections on someone who would never reciprocate them?, to feel like I've missed my chance at love; do you know how lonely that all feels?" Sakura half-laughed to herself "oh sure, you always had your half-assed excuse about Sasuke and how I'd never be 'over him' ready in hand whenever I so much as hinted at wanting to be with you" she laughed again "and now that I finally prove to you I am over him, you come at me with this shit?" Sakura glared at me like she expected me to have something to say, but I didn't, I just shrugged "it's like...have I done something wrong?, have I somehow offended my ancestors?, do the Kami just want me to suffer?"

"Sakura, you're being dramatic"

"Screw you asshole you fucked me! In more ways than one!"

"Sakura, I'm not happy with how I behaved either, but you're not blameless; you came to me drunk and horny; what did you think was going to happen?"

"Okay fine, yes, I expected us to fuck but I didn't expect this shit afterward!"

"I told you earlier that day I wanted some time to myself-"

"-and what floors me is that you even ever agreed in the first place if you felt this way!"

"I didn't know I felt this way at the time!"

"Oh, so 'now' you know; how convenient for you."

"Sakura I'm sorry that this is what it took for me to figure my feelings out, if I could go back in time knowing what I know now I'd have done things differently; but I can't."

Sakura glowered at me "fine, whatever Naruto; I can do better than you anyways!" and with that she threw up her arms in disgust and stormed off down the street.

"...well that could've gone better" I mused to myself somberly.


	10. Chapter 10

"That's the last match" Tsunade said aloud.

"That makes two of mine, three of yours, one from Kumogaure, one from Iwagakure and one from Kirigakure" I did likewise as the eight victors were lined up "shall you be going down to congratulate them?, it is your village after all" I spoke.

"Of course, but as Kazekage it would only be appropriate that I request you speak as well."

I 'hrmfed' "an extension of kindness on your part to solidify our village's friendship no doubt?" I half-asked.

"Officially, yes, however unofficially I'm really just breaking your balls" Tsunade replied with a wry grin.

"How considerate of you" I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Tsunade laughed "shall we?" I gave no answer but simply stood, folded my arms and descended down to the victorious students on a platform of sand, Tsunade leapt from the balcony and landed crouching next to me "show off" she muttered under her breath. Tsunade cleared her throat before speaking aloud "these eight have proven their skills above and beyond their compatriots to advance to the finals in this final tournament portion of our Chunin exam. Sarutobi Konohamaru of Konoha, Hyuga Hanabi of Konoha, Tanaka Udon of Konoha, Akhom of Sunagakure, Odji of Sunagakure, Kita Yudai of Kumogakure, Kim Yeong of Kirigakure, Li Ju of Iwagakure" as Tsunade called out each name the respective Shinobi either nodded or bowed or some such. "The finals are to begin in precisely two weeks!" Tsunade declared "this is to give each one of you ample time to prepare and hone your techniques, I need not remind you that the honor of your respective villages rests upon your shoulders and you are each expected at your best!"

I laughed at the 'honor of your respective villages part' prompting Tsunade to shoot me a furious glare. "Have you anything to add Kazekage-dono?" Tsunade nearly sneered at me.

"Actually I do" I replied, then turned to the Genin "'the honor of your village' what does that mean to you?, in fact, the very notion of honor, what does that mean to you?" I pointed to Ju of Iwagakure "you first, what does honor mean to you?" I asked a Shinboi from neither mine nor Tsunade's village so as to ascertain a neutral opinion.

The petite and young Kunoichi looked stunned for a moment then cleared her throat "it means that my village is depending on me to do my best, if I succeed they earn respect and that honors their name and by extension myself, if I fail the village loses honor and so I am dishonored" she spoke plainly in a soft and feminine voice.

I looked her over, she was quite small with dark slanted eyes, short dark hair, tannish-tawny complexion, couldn't be any older than I was when I took the exams "that's one of the more typical perspectives."

"Honor doesn't come from your village at all, it's more personal than that" Akhom spoke up "honor comes from yourself and *only* yourself, honor is following your own path and doing what you know is right in your heart and soul regardless of what anyone else dictates unto you. It is knowing that your own personal moral compass, your own code of ethics cannot and will not be compromised for anyone or anything; that is what honor is" Akhom concluded, a seething passion slipping through his usual reserved disposition.

"I think it's both" spoke up another Genin and much to my surprise it was Sarutobi Konohamaru "honor is both personal and from one's clan, I find honor in living up to the great examples that my uncle and grandfather have left for us, I do what would make them proud and thus honor their memory and in doing so honor myself and my clan." Both myself and Tsunade looked at Konohamaru with a little shock "what!" he exclaimed "that closet-pervert Ebisu made me write a paper on what I thought honor was, it was from that!" he continued.

"What if you're from a family or clan that is neither honorable nor noteworthy" Akhom directed at Konohamaru with something of a glare. Konohamaru turned to Akhom "the idea that your honor comes from some superfluous notion of what those who came before you have done is absurd, their deeds were their deeds as your deeds are your deeds and they do not live through you, they are gone" Akhom continued, not shaking his glare in the slightest.

"You're both fools!" Yeong yelled out before Konohamaru had time to formulate a response to Akhom, he was of a tall and lanky build, head shaved bald, and had that greyish complexion typical of certain natives of the Land of Water "you want to know what honor is?, honor is a fairytale that some Shinobi like to pretend exists to make the cruel reality of our role in this world seem less cruel than it truly is, there is nothing 'honorable' in any sense of that word in accepting money in exchange for killing, we are basically prostitutes of death and unlike some others this is a grim reality we of Kirigakure do not shun but rather embrace" Yeong spoke proudly.

"In that sense the illusion of honor serves another purpose" Hanabi spoke up "simply speaking, honor is a good way to make those who are less intelligent than you do what you say, oftentimes merely implanting the idea in someone's head that their 'honor' is at stake is a good way to stir them to action-"

"SILENCE YOUR PISSING MOUTHES!" Akhom roared in rage, his eyes blazing with murderous anger.

"AKHOM, CALM YOURSELF!" I shouted which snapped him out of it with a sudden jerk.

"I-I apologize Kazekage-sama...I lost control of myself" Akhom turned and bowed, fortunately the respect Akhom has for me tends to override his anger.

Hanabi smirked, a wicked and unsettling smirk as Akhom shouted "this one has a temper!" Yeong teased "ease up though sand-monkey, we'll have time for that when we match up" he smirked with a glimmer in his eye "I saw your fight, you may be fast but you're still nothing I can't handle" Yeong continued.

"Enough!" Tsunade declared with a wave of her arm "the brackets are as follows" the tournament announcer displayed a scroll "First match – Akhom vs. Kita Yudai, second match – Kim Yeong vs. Li Ju, third match – Hyuga Hanabi vs. Tanaka Udon, fourth match – Odji vs. Sarutboi Konohamaru, you all will be given a two week period to prepare at the conclusion of which the finals will begin, are there any questions?" None spoke up "good, then you are all dismissed" and with that the Genin all dispersed to their respective camps and as soon as they were out of earshot Tsunade turned to me "what the heck was the point of that?!" she asked in a demanding tone.

"...unless perspectives like those of Akhom become more of a norm, this Shinobi world is only going to get worse" I paused before giving my answer. Tsunade went silent at that and I turned sharply to her "what makes Konoha ANY different than Kirigakure?!" I demanded, feeling the rage at this...this Shinobi world, swell up inside me. Tsunade was taken aback by sudden outburst "what has 'Konoha' done to make this world a better place? Hrrmn?! Has Konoha helped the people of the Land of Fire in ANY conceivable way?! Or are you simply lapdogs to the wealthy and the land owning?!"

"GAARA!" came a sudden shout as Baki literally leapt directly in front of me "I apologize for Kazekage-sama's outburst, he is likely weary from his journey and no doubt has suffered many restless nights as he has great difficulty sleeping in such unfamiliar settings, I am sure Kazekage Gaara-sama meant no offense with his words" Baki looked back towards me, desperately as I glared straight through him.

"...yeah, that's it" I said lowly before turning in disgust. Everyone still in the arena was staring in shock "...see to the Genin Baki" I said aloud without facing him "I shall return later" I concluded and began making my exit when a sudden burst in movement caught my attention. I turned just in time to catch Tsunade lunging at me, her fist raised to strike, in the nick of time I threw up a shield of sand which her fist collided with, I stared blankly at her, arms folded and my expression more than a little contemptuous "something you'd like to say?, or would you prefer to continue lashing out like an angry toddler?"

Tsunade sneered at me before snorting and giving a low chuckle "I remember fighting the last Jinchuriki of the Shukaku, he was older than you are now but your sand is impressively quicker and stronger" I said nothing "you talk a lot of shit kid, that's a dangerous thing to do in this Shinobi world."

"I've given my life for my ideals once before already, you would be an utter fool to think I am the least bit afraid of risking the same thing again" I replied coldly. "So don't think you can intimidate me" I followed up and Tsunade glowered at me "besides, I'm fairly certain I can take you" I added and this enraged her, Tsunade followed up with a swift kick but again my sand caught it "you'll have to do better than that" I snarked and with that she leapt high above me into the air and raised her leg into a falling axe-kick, in response I formed a shield of sand, similar to the one I formed above Sunagakure two years ago. Tsunade's axe-kick collided with the shield with a thunderous clap of impact that shattered it, though the force of the kick sent Tsunade backwards she caught herself in a somersault and landed gracefully on her feet, again she charged me and this time got inside my shield and readied her fist again for another blow...

…

'I'm gonna cream this kid!' I thought to myself as I threw my fist forward, Gaara stared straight at me with no fear in his eyes as I followed through and connected with a shell of sand "WHAT?!" I shouted.

"SAND COFFIN!" I heard from behind as I felt the sand from underneath me rise up and ensnare me. With a mighty roar of rage and my already considerable strength increased a hundred fold by my charka I burst through the sand around me with ease "obscuring sandstorm!" Gaara cried and the sand I just pulverized began circling me like a dust storm, blinding me. I couldn't tell what was happening so I charged straight at the sound of his voice "sand bullet hail!" he shouted and hundreds of hard little balls of sand began peppering me from all sides within the sand storm, they weren't doing much damage to me but they sure were annoying and fucking hurt.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" I cried and forced my hands in opposite directions with all my strength causing enough sheer force of air to blow the sand out of my face and scatter the remaining bullets, now I could see him and stamped my foot hard onto the ground sending cracks in the masonry in a radius causing Gaara to stumble briefly, sensing my moment I leapt straight towards him.

Gaara glared right at me as I bounded towards him "that you react to me with continued violence only serves to prove me right!" he lectured, further pissing me the fuck off as I raised my fist above my head and brought it down upon him, driving it into his abdomen with all my force and pounding his form into the crumbling ground...

…

I watched in subdued disbelief at what just transpired before me 'well, there goes our peace with Suna...Tsunade just killed the Kazekage' I sighed silently under my mask, I had arrived too late to stop it, for once my tardiness may have cost our village, possibly the entire country, dearly. Myself and several ANBU agents landed before the Hokage to separate her from Gaara, I looked down into the crater, his eyes were closed but before I had the chance to examine him closer the entire Sunagakure entourage descended and scrambled in from all sides to stand between me and their beloved Kazekage, Baki stood at the center and locked eyes with mine.

"...when Kaknkuro hears of this, it will surely mean war" Baki hissed, behind my Tsunade was breathing heavily, a smirk on her face "we came to your land as friends and allies only to bare witness, helplessly, to your Hokage murdering our-"

"I'M NOT DEAD YOU FOOLS!" came a shout from behind as Gaara slowly raised out from the crater on a platform of sand, arms folded as always and with a smirk to match Tsunade's. I looked him over, to my astonishment he looked fine, I removed my Konoha band to examine him with my Sharingan as I simply couldn't believe it, but, aside from a minor bruise on the point of impact he was completely unharmed.

Tsunade snorted "I expected I'd hurt you a 'bit' more than that..." she said with something of a sneer "your armor of sand must be harder than diamond."

Gaara said nothing to Tsunade but turned his gaze to me "readying your Sharingan?, come now copy-ninja you must not think me a threat" he turned his back to us "we were merely sparring and I would wager your Hokage just got a bit carried away, I am certain she intended only to test her abilities against my own."

I did not turn my gaze away from him, even facing away as he was Gaara was clearly far more dangerous than he was even just two years ago "I concur, Kazekage-sama" I said lowly.

"I will be returning to my quarters, I will be by later on but until then I recommend our Genin should be allowed to roam the village at their leisure, a reward for their excellent performance" Gaara stated simply.

"A-as you command...Kazekage-sama" Baki answered.

With that the Kazekage raised his fingers to his forehead and sand teleported out of the building, I let out a huge sigh of relief and covered my Sharingan up again before turning back towards Tsunade "Hokage-sama, what exactly did he say that got under your skin so?" I inquired.

Tdunade looked away "...we were just sparring, nothing serious" she said in a less than convincing manner.

"As you say Hokage-sama."

She glowered at me and the ANBU "DISMISSED!" she snapped sharply and they all disappeared, save for me "what are you waiting for Kakashi? I SAID DISMISSED!"

"What did he say?" I asked again.

Tsunade let out a sigh "...we'll talk later Kakashi" Tsunade relented, I nodded and proceeded on my way...

…

'Well that accomplished nothing' I thought bitterly to myself, this Shinobi world is inhabited by nothing but senseless violent fools, sycophantic backstabbers and greedy whores lining their pockets with gold collected from the blood of the innocent' I hated this world with a passion. No, that wasn't true...I hated the people 'in' this world, more specifically I hated the shinobi of this world, ironic given my status as a Kazekage but I couldn't lie to myself I hated them all 'you don't hate Hinata' went that annoying voice in my head...and it had a point. I continued sailing through the air, not paying much mind to the pedestrians beneath me as I landed in front of the house I was staying it, but as I unlocked the door I got the strange feeling that something wasn't right, I opened it up and sitting right there at my damned coffee table was my sister and Shikamaru.

"...the fuck are you doing here?!" I demanded "I told you to stay in Suna!" I half-growled half-sighed and held my forehead between my thumb and index finger "never mind that, how did you even get in?" to which Shikamaru displayed a pair of lockpicks "I was told that lock was unpickable" I grumbled.

"Truth be told it was" Shikamaru interjected "but these are made from chakra-blade steel, I can channel my shadow charka through them and interact with locks far too troublesome and complex for normal lockpicks to be of any use."

"Clever" I said, then pointed to the door "now please get the fuck out, I am NOT in a good mood."

"I got into a fight with my mother because she wouldn't let Temari stay, and so was forced to walk out but as a consequence we now we have nowhere else to stay for the night...I know it is troublesome, it will only be for a few days before we can locate our own lodging, may we crash here for a few nights?"

I let out a heavy sigh "c'mon Gaara, this place they set you visiting Kages up in is huge, you're not even using half of it there's totally enough room for us" Temari spoke up and I locked eyes with her "...you wouldn't throw your own sister out would you?, she asked with a pleading yet knowing smile."

"...fine" I relented "but no fucking while you're here, the thought of you two having intercourse anywhere near me makes me want to kill myself" I added then made my way past into the bedroom.

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to 'why' we're here and not in Suna?" Temari asked.

"Not really" I answered bluntly and shut the door behind me before collapsing onto my bed.

…

"To an excellent match and a truly exceptional daughter!" father raised his glass in toast before all those gathered for the celebratory dinner; father was here, so was grandfather and many other members of the main house, curiously, so was Neji even though he was of the branch house. We all applauded, me a bit halfheartedly but for sake of appearances it was expected of me, Hanabi basked in the praise and beamed with swelling pride and confidence "and to my nephew Neji, one of the youngest of the clan to ever be promoted to Jonin and greatest fighter of all the Hyuga!" father continued as I felt myself shrinking into my seat, becoming more and more invisible...in a crowd, yet alone; such was my life. 'How that all seems to change when I'm with either of 'them'' I thought to myself and again I felt that warming in the pit of my belly, and my knees trembled...if Naruto and Sakura weren't an item anymore, I...I had a chance...but, didn't I just kiss Gaara in the forest?...my head was a muddle of conflicting feelings and questions.

"Though he is without a father, I would like for you Neji to think of me as your own as you are unto the son I never had" my father continued his speech to more clapping and a few calls of "here-here" "and it is with that, that I think today that, with such an outstanding performance from our Hanabi and with Neji's return from his flawless solo A-rank mission that Hyuga history be made this day!" With that my father put his drink down and walked to where Neji was sitting "Neji, today I would like to officially adopt you as my son, this would make you part of the main house and therefore my eldest child and rightful heir!, do you accept?"

Neji looked up at father as these words were spoken directly in front of me...it really was like I was invisible "I most graciously accept...father."

"THEN IT IS DECIDED!" father shouted "on the morrow the cursed seal shall be removed and you will be formally inducted into the house you were meant to be born in, meant to be part of from the beginning!"

I felt a nudge from the seat next to me, where Hanabi was seated "it's not that big a deal sis, you really weren't cut out for leadership, and besides, I don't think the clan's exactly ready to have a chick running things" she paused then added with an evil grin "...yet."

I stared back at her blankly "...father knows best" I said quietly.

"Come, it would be rude to say nothing" Hanabi yanked me by the arm out of my chair and over to Neji where everyone was gathered congratulating him, shaking his hand and patting him on the back "congratulations cousin...or should I say brother!" Hanabi practically beamed as she threw her arms around him in a hug. In recent years the two of them had grown extremely close as it was primarily Neji who had been training her.

"You did well little sister" he said with a smile as he returned the hug.

I began to speak "you've been very blessed by the Kami this day"

"-plffft, the Kami had nothing to do with it! I earned this myself through my own strength of will and my own perseverance and hard work!" Neji roared swelling with pride and I sighed a little to myself. Ever since Neji's fight with Naruto I thought he was changing for the better and at first he was, but he'd taken his new determinist philosophy to the same extreme he had taken his fatalist one of the past; to put it shortly, he's actually managed to take a life lesson and twist it over time to turn himself into an even bigger asshole than he was before. "I determined my own fate just like everyone else has the power to, I'm living proof the rest of the branch house is just lazy!" he continued on his rant "I used to feel sorry for myself just like the rest of 'em and blame 'fate' or 'circumstance' but I ditched that and look at me now!"

"Not everyone is as naturally gifted as you-"

"Then they just need to work harder!" Neji was quick to shout me down "the only reason they're slaves is because they're too lazy to be anything else, if they weren't they'd have earned their freedom like I just did now" Neji boasted proudly.

I looked at him with a deadpan, almost annoyed expression "you know Neji, at least when you were a jerk as a kid it was for a legitimate cause" I spoke flatly.

Neji took a drink from his sake and stared back at me hard "what're you on about?"

"I'm sorry, I think I need to go and powder my nose before I throw up all over the floor at how in love with yourself you are" I continued flatly and turned my back to head towards the bathroom. As soon as I entered I buried my head in my hands over the sink and started sobbing...I hated it here so much.


	11. Chapter 11

I passed out from sheer exhaustion into a dreamless sleep, rare for me to not be plagued by nightmares, but was rudely awaken by a loud pounding at my door "OIE GAARA!" Temari called.

I grunted "Go away!" I yelled back.

"Kakashi is here holding Akhom and Konohamaru by their ears!"

I shot up out of bed at hearing that, threw my robes on and hastily unlocked the door, bounding to the front to indeed find Kakashi standing right there with both my Genin and Konohamaru by their ears. Akhom had some singe marks where-as Konohamaru was covered in minor sword-cut wounds "these two were going at it for a good few minutes before I just 'happened' to be passing by and break it up."

"YOU'RE A LIAR, MY ANCESTORS DO TO LIVE THROUGH ME!" Konohamaru shouted over at Akhom who was indignantly still.

"You're an idiot" Akhom said back to him "and you're lucky I was going easy on you."

"Where were my Jonin when this was happening?" I inquired.

"If you recall Kazekage-sama, you has given your Genin the privilege to walk the village at their leisure yesterday."

"...yeah I did say that didn't I" I relented and let out a sigh.

"I must admit, you've got quite the student here; when I arrived he was easily getting the better of the fight-"

"only because I'm still saving my best Jutsu for the tournament in two weeks!"

"Liar"

"ENOUGH!" I shouted "Akhom you are confined to quarters, TEMARI!"

"Yes, Gaara?"

"As long as you are here would you please make yourself useful and escort Akhom back to his quarters?, they're the same ones we stayed at years ago; you know how to find them."

"Yes brother" Temari answered with a bow.

"Shikamaru, would you do likewise for Konohamaru here...I'd like to speak to the Kazekage personally" Kakashi added.

I gave him an inquisitive glance while Temari and Shikamaru took Akhom and Konohamaru off his hands respectively and closed the door "this wouldn't be about yesterday at the tournament would it?" I asked.

"Tsunade told me what you'd said to her that pushed her over the edge."

"What of it?" I asked.

"I just want to tell you a little story Gaara" Kakashi's voice became grave and serious "years ago, when Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were first made Genin we were sent on a mission to protect a builder who was building a bridge in his small nation, The Land of Waves, they were once a prosperous land until a wealthy and evil man by the name of Gato appeared, he was a drug lord and owner of a shipping company who would lose a lot of money if the bridge was built. The mission was originally C-rank to begin with to act as bodyguards and escort him to the bridge, along the way we were attacked by Chunin-level Shinobi under Gato's employ, under normal circumstances this would invalidate the contract as this was clearly an A-rank mission, he admitted he could not afford an A-rank mission and so lied to us about the severity of the situation."

Kakashi looked deep into my eyes "do you know what I did, Gaara?" I remained silent "not only did I have us stay and protect him the entire way back, once at his village we ultimately drove Gato and his men out after a long and fierce battle with Gato's mercenaries, both whom were Shinobi of upper-tier Jonin rank and skill and when it was all said and done we didn't charge the man a cent" Kakashi concluded. I held my silence "my point is this Gaara, though few there are STILL Shinobi in this world who are honorable and believe in doing the right thing and holding to the original tenets of Ninjutsu; protecting the common man, please don't become too cynical or bitter; there are far too many cynical and bitter Kages for you to be counted amongst them as well."

"In a nutshell, even if the world still seems like a shitty place that doesn't mean the sacrifices we make are in vain; that is all Gaara" Kakashi turned to exit.

"...Kakashi" he popped his head over his shoulder "thanks, I uhm...needed to hear that" he gave a knowing nod and continued on his way out. I took a seat at my table and began scribing a letter to send back to Sunagakure, Kankuro would need to know that I would be remaining here longer than anticipated...

…

*SLAP* father's hand stung my cheek as he looked down at me with utter fury "you WILL apologize to Neji and before the entire clan for your outburst last night! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

I shrunk before his rage "y-y-y-yes...father."

"I do not know WHAT has gotten into you these past few days but you need to remember that you are WEAK and that you are NEVER to speak like that unto your betters, IS THAT CLEAR?!" I was so terrified of him that I couldn't even make words, I just nodded feverishly. Father let out an exacerbated sigh "...cant believe someone as weak as you was born to our house and one as strong as Neji was born to the branch, I intend to at least half correct that but trust me Hinata if there was protocol for it I'd condemn you to the branch house and brand you a slave like THAT!" father snapped his fingers to enunciate his point. "But, unfortunately I'm stuck with you...that'll be all get out of my sight" father shooed me with a limp wave of his hand as I got out of the house and away from his vision as quickly as possible, my jacket huddled over me, and taking brisk steps away from the Hyuga estate behind me.

I didn't know where I was walking to, just that it was away from my house, away from the abuse, my eyes were glued to the ground and I wasn't paying very much attention-"Hinata!" I looked up at the sound of that bright and cheery voice, it was Naruto, he was beaming a big smile "did you hear?, Konohamaru and that star Genin from Suna got into a fight earlier, it was pretty epic before Kakashi came and broke it up."

"I...hadn't heard" I was intentionally looking away from him, towards the ground when suddenly Naruto's voice was inquisitive and serious.

"...lift your face up" I froze, Naruto approached and put his finger under my chin to lift my face up, his eyes went furious. "...who hit you" he asked gravely.

"I-uh,uhm I..."

"WHO HIT YOU?!" he demanded in a shout.

"Myfather!" I blurted out in a mix of panic and fear, my eyes wide shut.

"...I see" Naruto said, his voice still grave as he pushed his way past me, he began walking towards the Hyuga estate.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I asked, still in a panic.

"Just a sec" Naruto said without turning back to face me, I ran up behind him.

"Naruto please don't do anything stup-" he looked back over his shoulder and what I saw froze me in place. He looked different, his skin was a strange color, his eyes were yellow and had toad-like slits in them, I could tell just from his expression that absolutely nothing I said or did was going to stop him from what he was about to do...it was as though his rage was so powerful I didn't even need my byakugan to see it, it was as though it permeated the air itself. Naruto walked up to the front door of the Hyuga mansion and knocked, he waited patiently for my father to open the door; I was watching from a distance with my Byakugan now activated, Naruto was surrounded by a very strange chakra I'd never seen before, it covered him like a field.

My father opened the door "hi my name is Uzumaki Naruto and I'm here to kick the shit out you" with that Naruto let forth a punch with such speed I couldn't follow the movement and with such force that it literally lifted my father off the ground and launched him through the house and crashing through the back wall and into the back yard, I gasped. Naruto calmly strolled through the estate and through the hole he just made in the wall, my father was slow to rise as Naruto stood right in front of him, not budging, almost like he was waiting.

Father was furious and immediately went into his eight-trigrams stance as Naruto continued standing there, with a roar of rage father dove into him "Two palms!" he struck, Naruto didn't budge "Four palms! Eight Palms! Sixteen Palms! Thirty Two Palms! Sixty Four Palms! One Hundred Twenty Eight Palms!" he laid into Naruto and my eyes must've been deceiving me, it did nothing, it looked like my father was dancing around and tapping a statue. It looked almost as though the strange chakra field surrounding Naruto was just eating up the chakra of my father's strikes turning his gentlefist into harmless taps, my father gazed in disbelief and began staggering backwards "m-m-m-MONSTER!" he cried in terror prompting a snarl from Naruto.

"That wasn't smart" Naruto growled and spawned a shadowclone who formed a rasengan in his hand, the size of which I couldn't believe "this giant rasengan is powerful enough to blow up a mountain, just imagine what it could do to you" I'd never seen Naruto so angry before. Naruto made a slow walk towards my father who stumbled and fell on his backside, he looked up at Naruto his face a picture of abject horror "If you ever, EVER, raise a hand to your daughter again I will fucking END you, this is not a threat; it is a PROMISE" he snarled, then shrank the rasengan back down to nothingness and dispelled his clone. Naruto didn't say another word to him, he just turned and walked back through the house and back down the path towards me "did you know today's my birthday?" Naruto made completely unrelated conversation "turned twenty today, but Sakura isn;t talking to me and I don't really have anyone to celebrate it with, so I was kinda hoping we could do something together" he continued, then seemed to think for a moment "where's Gaara at?" he asked. "Oh wait, nevermind" Nartuo spoke before I could answer "I can sense energy in this form and he...iiiiisss..." Naruto concentrated for a moment "that-way!" he exclaimed and pointed.

I finally managed to gather myself over how utterly stunned I was to speak "wh-wh-what was that?"

"Senjutsu, I entered what's called 'Sage Mode' I learned it from the Toads, took me awhile but I've mastered it...it's like drawing in energy from nature around you and you sorta become one with the natural world and pretty much indestructible" Naruto gave a short laugh. "I used to need clones to gather the energy for me, but since then I've had nothing better to do than just practice it so now I can enter it pretty much at will" I was still somewhat in shock of what I'd just seen...Naruto had become THAT strong?, it was a little intimidating to be honest, and I got the strong impression I'd only seen the bare minimum of what Naruto was now capable of with that display. "Yeah I got a lock on him, Gaara has a very distinctive Ki" Naruto affirmed "c'mon let's scoop him up and do something fun, I think the three of us all need it" he continued as I followed him still flabbergasted at the sheer display of power I witnessed...

…

"Why did you do that Akhom?" I asked with annoyance.

"Because Konohamaru is an idiot" Akhom retorted "he is a fool who only believes these ludicrous notions because he is merely lucky enough to have had the privilege of believing them; it angered me" Akhom spoke plainly. Akhom reminded me a lot of me when I was his age, angry and full of wrath, his parents were Land of Wind peasants and it is only through raw ability and sheer luck that he finds himself a Shinobi now, those who were born with privilege strike a chord with him...as did those who had friends and loves ones strike a chord with me then. Over the years I have managed to help him temper that anger into a powerful focus and unshakable personal morality and he is far from the murderous psychopath I once was, but still...his anger often gets the better of him.

"That's no excuse to get into a fight like that; we've taught you better, I've taught you better" Akhom said nothing, just stared "anything to say for yourself?" I continued.

"Just that he started it-"

"Don't give me that crap Akhom! He may have thrown the first punch but I know you antagonized him! What did you say to him?"

Akhom shrugged "just that the idea that his ancestors live through him is a comforting lie he tells himself to cope with the fact that they're all dead" I sighed "and then he took a swing at me. from there things just escalated" Akhom finished.

I shook my head, this kid was too much like me in some ways "we're guests here Akhom, what you did was unacceptable-"

"and yet when you call the Hokage on her shit it's perfectly fine?" Akhom challenged.

"That was different."

"How?"

"I'm not going to discuss that with you right now Akhom, you are confined to quarters until such a time as I see fit to lift your punishment."

"Fine, this village sucks anyway."

There was nothing more for me to do but let Akhom sulk and so I left the Genin quarters 'perhaps I should apologize to Tsunade' I thought to myself, though she was far from a woman of honor she wasn't directly responsible for my gripes with the Shinobi world or even Konoha itself, those seeds had already been sown, grown and firmly established by the time she took the title of Hokage.

"He's still just a boy Gaara" Temari, who was waiting outside spoke up, I didn't acknowledge that and instead changed the subject.

"We will need to meet with the Hokage very soon, her and I have worked out a deal to facilitate your relationship with the Nara boy, in brief; throughout the Summer and Autumn you will remain in Konoha with him, throughout the Winter and Spring he will remain in Suna with us, you need not be separated." Temari's eyes lit up at this "the child will be left to determine his or her own fate, neither village will lay claim."

Temari seemed practically overjoyed, she threw her arms around me in an embrace I did not return "thank you Gaara, brother; thank you" she was nearly teary-eyed.

"You should be thanking Tsunade" I replied coldly "it was her idea" Temari backed away from the hug and nodded.

"Still...thank you for not standing in the way" she replied, I turned to walk off "...Gaara?" Temari said in an inquisitive tone prompting me to turn back to her "do you..." she trailed off before regaining her composure with a shake of her head "do you hate me?" she asked.

I let out a sigh and paused before I gave my answer "...no Temari I don't hate you" I took a deep breath "I just don't trust you" I answered truthfully Temari closed her eyes at that and looked towards the ground "I understand..." she uttered softly "I should probably go find Shikamaru and tell him the news" Temari followed up, looking for a way out of this unpleasant conversation no doubt "I concur" I replied and with that she was off with a brisk step.

I had always believed in honesty over sparing one's feelings and Temari was no exception, while I did not resent her like Kankuro is often apt to express I do not trust her decision-making abilities; for one as intelligent as she is Temari often makes mind bogglingly stupid choices, her thinking is too rigid. I suppose this is why I trust Kankuro more-so, his thinking is more creative and lateral and his will is not so easily dominated or persuaded by things like 'orders' or 'protocol', I've always found myself in the middle ground between the two, not so 'out there' as Kankuro is at times but neither confined to 'thinking inside the box' as Temari can be, though on most any matter brought before me I have found myself heeding Kankuro's council over Temari's whenever there was disagreement.

"Oie, Gaara!" a familiar voice called to me as I found myself lost in contemplation, I turned towards the direction, it was Naruto...with Hinata in tow, and I could not help but feel my dark and heavy heart lighten at her grace, a rare smile formed upon my lips at seeing her again. Naruto looked...curious...he had a strange aura about him and as they approached I noticed his eyes had taken on odd toad-like slits and his skin a slightly different complexion "you know it's my birthday today, right?; my 20th" Naruto continued as soon as he reached me "I had plans with Sakura but she's not talking to me since we broke up, so I was wondering if you wanted to join me and Hinata?; we were probably gonna grab drinks or something since I'm old enough now and wanna see what all the fuss is about" to be honest I didn't really have much interest in celebrating Naruto's birthday...but spending time with Hinata, yes.

"Sure Naruto, that sounds enjoyable."

"Oh wait...you and Hinata are both still nineteen right?, so you can't."

I chuckled "you forget Naruto, I am the Kazekage; I doubt very much a word will be said against us" I pointed out.

"Alright, true, true" Naruto said "then I was thinking we could all go to that place in the village that pervy sage and Tsunade would always hang at."

I sighed "Naruto, would you mind if we went somewhere a 'little' bit more upscale?, a seedy Sake House is no place for a lady" I gestured towards Hinata, who seemed oddly quiet and had this strange shocked expression that she arrived with and had still failed to lose.

"I don't have the money for anything like that..."

"-I'll pay, it is your birthday after all" I interjected "I guess so then" Naruto replied "being Kazekage must pay good, huh?"

I got very offended at that "every cent I make from Sunagakure as Kazekage goes DIRECTLY to the village itself, I do not spend a penny on myself!"

Naruto looked confused "then where do you-"

"I own my own business, a trading company in the Land of Wind; we export spices, cashmere, tea and silk primarily and our main imports are foreign wines, spirits and gourmet products" I explained, boasting a little.

"That sounds really interesting!" Hinata finally piqued up

I gave her a knowing smirk "prepare to be disappointed" I replied with a dry, sarcastic wit prompting a small giggle out of her.

"You don't export any books do you?" Naruto asked

I gave him a curious glance "why?"

"...just for my own sake, I need to know if those stupid Icha-Icha books the pervy sage wrote have been inflicted on another continent."

I actually laughed at that "we don't export books but I do know of another company that does, and apparently they're very big sellers overseas; sorry Naruto."

"Ughhh!" Naruto grunted "they're so bad! Why does anybody like them?!"

On this I actually concurred with Naruto "I haven't the foggiest."

Hinata was staring in disbelief "but...they're so funny!" she nearly exclaimed as me and Naruto turned to her almost as if in unison.

"No they're not!" he exclaimed back "the jokes don't make any sense!"

I nodded in agreement "I concur, I read one at Kankuro's behest insisting the same thing but...yeah, I just didn't get it."

Hinata just kind of shook her head and giggled a little "well anyways, so you're like loaded then?" Naruto asked.

"I wouldn't say I'm 'loaded" but I'm comfortable, yes" I replied "In any event, I know of a place here in Konoha my brother recommends and his tastes are, if anything, even more expensive than my own so I know it's good."

"You don't have to go through all this trouble Gaara, this was kinda spur of the moment on my part."

"Nonsense" I dismissed "besides, this will be your first time ever imbibing, yes?"

"Imbibing?"

"Drinking alcohol."

"Oh, umm; yeah actually."

"Well, to be completely honest I'd rather your first experience be with someone who 'knows' a thing or two about beverages rather than follow the behest of a common binge drinker" I said with some condescension.

"This coming from the guy who's known to polish off an entire wine bottle by himself in a single sitting?" Hinata teased with something of a mischievous glint to her eye.

"How'd you know about that?" I demanded playfully.

"Word travels fast" she continued teasing.

Naruto smiled at our exchange, almost a knowing smile "lead the way, oh-knowledgeable one" Naruto joined Hinata in teasing me.

I shot him a knowing look and raised a finger "listen you, just because I'll put up with it from her doesn't mean I will from you too" I couldn't keep a straight face, a smile cracked through and then I began laughing prompting Naruto to laugh too. "Come! It's this way..."

…

It's funny, just like I'd observed before...with Naruto I feel so intimidated, so dominated and hesitant to speak or do anything, scared in a way, and after that display earlier I couldn't lie and say I wasn't at least a little frightened, the power he just displayed, and so effortlessly...I always thought that sort of thing was restricted to the stuff of legend or perhaps the Kami themselves. Seeing Naruto beat the piss out of my father like that though, wow, I...had never been so turned on either! I felt like Naruto could protect me from anyone, anything even, it was such a comforting feeling but confusing...dammit, I still wanted him, no, I wanted them BOTH. I wanted Gaara to kiss gently in the forest like before, to make passionate and sweet love to and Naruto to, well, throw me over his shoulder, toss me onto a bed, tear my clothes off and just 'take' me, overwhelm me with all of his raw power and 'fuck' me.

My heart was pounding out of my chest 'calm down Hinata' I thought to myself, ugh, what a mess I've gotten myself into in just a few days, I thought being around both of them would end up giving some perspective on this but it's just intensifying my feelings both ways!

"About those slits in your eyes..." Gaara suddenly asked.

"Oh these?, it's nothing; just Senjutsu."

"The art of the sage?!"

Gaara said with some shock, he had apparently heard of this "heh, yeah; I mastered it, I was training for Pain to attack Konoha and this was the only way I'd stand a chance, but he never came."

Gaara went quiet "...I see" he answered after a pause.

"I'll deactivate it, I was only using it to make it easier to find you; I can sense Ki in this form" Naruto continued.

Gaara remained silent for a few more moments before he spoke again "there is a similar thing in the Land of Wind, but it has been a century since the last man mastered that path" he spoke cryptically.

"Wha?, you mean the Land of Wind has its own sages?"

"Had, and not exactly; the path of the sage is a toad art, beings of the fire and allies to Konoha, what I speak of is an art native to the flying weasels who live above the Land of Wind, not since the first Kazekage has their art been mastered" Gaara continued.

"What's that?" Naruto asked.

"The art of the Shaman" Gaara answered "the exact nature of his powers are lost to time, but the legends say he could speak the tongue of animal and spirits, he could make the mountains talk and the dead dance; he could command the sky and bend all natural phenomena to his will, he could even change his form."

"Like a transformation jutsu?"

"No, different than that...stranger, more terrifying to behold, more powerful too; they say at his height he was the mightiest of all Shinobi in the known world."

"What happened to him?" Naruto asked with interest.

"Pride, the weasels had warned him that to overuse his power would cause what they called 'Ba sickness' sickness of the soul and he would grow feeble and weak, you see, to use their powers a Shaman separates their consciousness from their living form, do this too much and the separation gets stronger and stronger and the Shaman's physical form grows weaker and weaker" Gaara explained. "He grew too weak to rule and as such, like all successive Kazekage including myself, was assassinated; it is said that with his death a curse that all Kazekage whom succeeded him would too be assassinated was written into being by the Gods in their anger at his hubris."

"Gods?" I spoke up, I had heard that in the Land of Wind they believed in many Gods who ruled over all aspects of life.

"Yes, the Gods of my land...you have Gods in the Land of Fire too yes, they are called Kami I believe?"

A common misconception "it's not that simple, the Kami do rule over all things in the Land of Fire but their nature is different than that of your Gods, there are tiny Kami like those that inhabit rocks or blades of grass and great Kami who are more comparable to your Gods in scale and scope. There are the Kami of rivers and mountains, the Kami that are our own human ancestors the Kami of the thunder and the wind, these things aren't really separated they're all part of the same...thing" Gaara nodded back, though I got the impression he didn't entirely follow me.

"I have been told that even though there are many Gods in the Land of Wind, it is common for one to be closest to or honor one specifically above all the others, is this true?" I inquired, Gaara nodded back at me "which one is it for you?" I inquired.

"Such a personal question" Gaara mused and then paused before answering "Set" he answered.

"What is Set God of?" I asked.

"The desert primarily; but he is also God of storms and chaos, of warriors and combat, destruction and control, God of darkness and rival to Horus who is God of light and the sky, hunting and warfare, of regality and the established ways" Gaara turned to Naruto "I apologize, you must be completely lost" he said with a laugh.

Naruto who was walking beside me shrugged "nah, I know a little bit about this stuff so I'm not completely lost...but I'm not really all that religious" Naruto paused "Horus sounds like he'd be kinda cool though" Naruto continued.

"He can be" Gaara answered "...when things don't need to change that is" he added "in any event, we're here" Gaara gestured ahead at a rather small and inconspicuous building, the door was small but there was a large window next to it where you could peer in, it looked crowded but sort of quiet with minimal lighting, people were sitting at small square tables as servers brought bottles to and fro. "After you birthday-boy" Gaara stood aside and half-bowed with one arm across his abdomen and flourishing with the other in a mockingly exaggerated fashion, Naruto just laughed it off and proceeded inside. Gaara immediately took the opportunity to fall back and talk to me more privately "why did you appear so shocked earlier?" Gaara asked me

I hesitated a little before I answered "I-I saw Naruto...beat the ever-living piss out of my dad" Gaara's brow raised in some surprise "not only that, he made it look easy; that, that Sage technique stuff he did...I'd never seen anything like it, never seen anyone that strong."

Gaara looked at me silently, almost like he was peering 'through' me "you still have feelings for him" he said plainly.

"I-I..." I stuttered than gulped "I have feelings for both of you" I answered honestly.

Gaara nodded "well, you have known him longer than I, and with Sakura out of the picture you can now pursue your heart's 'true' desire, so it would likely be best for the both of us to forget yesterday ever happened, hrrmn?" Gaara said sharply, his expression turning stern.

"Gaara-I" I tried to formulate a response but he had already turned and entered the establishment, suddenly I wished I was invisible again...

…

This place was FANCY, I could tell just be looking around at all the expensive decorations that if you wanted to spend time here you had to drop lots of cash, suddenly I felt a hand clasp my shoulder, I turned to see Gaara "come!, let us grab a table" he said with a smile as he walked on ahead of me. Gaara didn't wait to be seated, just plopping himself at one of the tables that was just cleared "here's good" Gaara spoke and beckoned me over "come! You too Hinata!" he beckoned over past me towards her, she seemed like she was dragging her ass for some reason "in my land there is a saying" Gaara began, he was talking almost like he was addressing a crowd "it is often said when things aren't as they should be or if things could be better and it is a simple saying; the beer will flow again" Gaara said with an odd smirk as Hinata took a seat on the left side of the four-sided black table Gaara seated us at.

There was this weird tension now that I didn't quite understand, Gaara seemed weird and Hinata was averting her eyes towards the table...

…

I've been down here since then, barricaded myself in my workshop, can't have distractions...no distractions! I took another swig from my bottle of whiskey and resumed my tinkering with that damned heart, I've learned all I can through trial and error, examined every goddamned textbook and tome; NOTHING!, How did Sasori do it? What am I missing? Why didn't Chiyo leave behind any text, any documentation on these puppets or anything for that matter? So much knowledge lost! "Argh!" I cried out in frustration; puppeteering, engineering, it's the future, I know this, I've always known this and yet to be set back so much just because no one ever shared their discoveries?! It was infuriating and baffling to me all at once. I had the parts all assembled before me, all the weapons meticulously removed while leaving all other mechanisms intact, this project of mine had spanned years, I knew every part, every seem, every joint, how it fit together; such an intimate knowledge of this masterwork...everything except the heart.

I poked it, prodded it, examined it over and over and over...I've taken it apart and re-assembled it, trying everything I can think of, but every time I plug it into the body, nothing, no life, just those empty eyes and cracked face staring lifelessly at me, mocking me. Again I tried, maybe if I moved this fold over here, tightened this over here, and lined this up in the opposite way...no, nothing, I plug it in and nothing, no signs of any life. I angrily pull the thing out from the cylindrical hole in the chest and slam it on the table, feeling the rage building up in me I grab my whiskey and glug, and glug "...FUCK!" I shout at the top of my lungs and slam the bottle on the table, sending glass shards everywhere. "Ughh" I groan in aggravation as I reach to pick them up, "fuck!" the sharp sting let me know I nicked my finger "Argh! Goddammit can nothing go right?!" I cried as the blood trickled down from my finger, I grabbed the heart to throw it back in my desk...when I noticed it was finally doing something. My eyes lit up as the organic folds seemed to seep up the blood at an astonishing rate and secreted some sort of purpleish fluid "...wait a minute" I said to myself and thought back to what Sakura said "it secreted a purple fluid when stabbed..." I raised it again to my eyes to inspect it, that curious hollow chamber in the back "...it needs blood..." I said with an absent disbelief, could it really have been something so simple?

Hurriedly I unscrewed the back and grabbing the largest shard I slashed my hand open, letting the blood flow into the contraption, the organic folds, the tissue all hungrily, greedily soaking it up and secreting back into the chamber that same purpleish fluid. I watched in mesmerized disbelief and massaged my hand to speed up the blood-flow, letting it pour out of me and into the heart's chamber as it continued to get soaked up by the tissue which secreted back that purple fluid until the chamber was full. I resealed the heart, it pulsated in my hand like it was alive now, I trembled in abject disbelief "...I've done it..." I whispered, barely able to contain my excitement "BY THE GODS I'VE FUCKING DONE IT!" I laughed and danced like a drunken madman throughout my basement workshop "By Thoth by Ptah by Khnum by everything in this fucking universe I FIGURED IT OUT!" Struggling to calm myself I walked over to my workbench, where his lifeless and disarmed body laid there limply, I was nearly giddy with joy as I slowly pushed the heart in with an audible 'clunk'.

The heart seemed to churn to life as suddenly 'veins' began popping from it, seemingly stretching throughout the puppet body, its hand twitched...I'd done it...and I held my breath as the eyes did likewise. The expression was one of confusion at first but then a resigned understanding "...I see you've disarmed me" he spoke with a detached and almost disinterested voice as the body attempted to sit up but struggled against his bonds.

"I've also taken the liberty of restraining you" I added.

"Smart" he replied.

He took a curious look at me "...I killed you."

I gave big, almost evil, smirk "you can thank the redheaded chick" I was holding back mad laughter "looks like the tables have turned now, eh?; Sasori of the Red Sands!" Sasori glared at me from his bonds and closes his eyes, his chest tensed "if you're trying to self-eject, I've also taken the liberty of removing the mechanism; that heart's in there good and solid" his eyes opened and glared with apparent anger, his fingertips twitched "yeah, I also severed the chakra-relay system leading into your hands; you won't be making any threads."

Sasori turned his head to stare up at me "you've thought of everything, haven't you?" he said blankly.

"Ohhhh, I've been planning for this moment for quite a long time Sasori-Sempai" I couldn't contain it any longer and burst into manic laughter, my fists clenched and shaking.

"How long have I been inactive?" Sasori interrupted my laughter somberly.

"Inactive?, oh; well I suppose for one such as you who is more thing than man, who can be reassembled, a terms like 'living' or 'dead' aren't entirely appropriate-"

Jjust answer my question" Sasori groaned impatiently.

"About four years, roughly" I answered.

"And why have you brought me back?" Sasori asked in an almost demanding tone.

I approached nearer my workbench and looked down upon him "answers" I answered just as demanding.

Sasori blinked "answers?"

"I want to know everything you've learned about puppeteering and engineering, I want to know how to make human puppets, how to transform parts of myself into puppet parts, how you managed to keep the chakra flow going in corpses and use their jutsu; everything." Sasori actually laughed "oh trust me, I've got time; that's not the issue."

"And what makes you think I'll tell you anything?"

"Because you're an artist Sasori, and I know artists, and the greatest of us are one thing above all else; vain; your art died with you Sasori, puppeteering has ground to a halt and your genius has been forgotten, dubbed irrelevant by those without the capacity to understand it; that surely doesn't sit well with you now does it?" Sasori knew I had his number "well does it?" I repeated the question.

"...no" he answered after a pause.

I got close to Sasori's face "look into my eye's Sasori and see the passion! I too am an artist, and a man of a genius creative mind, I understands your genius, respect it, and want to continue it!" I cried into his face with a feral madness, the kind that stems from pure passion distilled.

Sarori closed his eyes for a good few seconds then said, relenting "...first you must unbind me."

…

I should have known better, this is what I get, for once I open myself up a little bit JUST a little bit and *boom* down goes my guard and I get fucked in the ass! Naruto's soooo strong, Naruto made beating up Hiashi Hyuga look easy, Naruto's mastered the fucking Sage Arts NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! I could not lie, beneath my calm and sarcastic exterior I was SEETHING, utterly SEETHING. So it meant nothing then?!, but then again...isn't that what I wanted?, didn't I originally want it all to be a moment of lapsed senses that could be forgotten? Why am I so angry? I...I feel betrayed, dark, hateful even...I haven't felt anything like this before, am I...jealous?

I looked over at Naruto slurping the expensive beverage I bought him like a fool, a dumbass expression on his face, this empty-headed buffoon...I'm jealous of him? "Good stuff, eh Naruto?" I inquired friendlily, hiding my growing ire. Naruto said something back of no consequence, I could feel Hinata gravitating towards him, slipping away, further and further towards the one she truly wanted to be there in the forest with, the one she always wanted, the one she wants now.

I could have no more of this charade and rose "well, I guess I'll just see myself off" I said with a fake smile.

"Wha?!" Naruto exclaimed as this was all rather sudden, Hinata remained silent, eyes still pointed down.

"Oh let's not be stupid here Naruto, I'm a third-wheel; you two have fun" I almost spat, I could feel the bile building in me.

"G-Gaara I-" Hinata began.

"Forget it" I interrupted, then threw some more ryo down on the table "here, have some more drinks on me and have yourselves a good fucking time" I nearly snarled then turned and stormed out.

"Wait!" I heard someone cry from behind me, could have been either of them but I didn't care enough to pay it any mind as I went off to collect my sister and meet with the Hokage, might as well get this crap over with sooner rather than later...


	12. Chapter 12

(I re-read through this chapter again and wasn't 100% happy with it, made some grammatical corrections and changed a few things around)

'I guess I'm just supposed to be miserable' I thought to myself as the Hokage mansion came into view, I noted how it was far more elaborate in decor than the Kazekage mansion and for whatever reason this irritated me. I approached to turn the knob, locked, It was evening by now and Tsunade was likely no longer taking meetings but to be frank I really didn't give a shit and gave the door a bang. Shizune opened the door and seemed shocked to see me there "Kazekage-sama-".

"I must speak with Tsunade" I interrupted her my voice rasp and sharp.

Shizune cleared her throat with a soft *ahem* "now probably isn't the best..." Shizune trailed off as she looked into my eyes, my glare was most likely downright terrifying right now. She seemed frozen in mid speech so I just pushed my way past her and made my own way up the stairs and around the bend until I came to the door to Tsunade's office area, she was most likely in there.

I knocked on the door, no answer, I knocked again "..nyughh..." I heard a grunt come from behind.

"Oh good grief!" I exclaimed in frustration and swung the door open to find Tsunade slumped over her desk, multiple empty bottles of Sake turned over on either side as I stood there in the doorway, arms folded and disapproval radiating off every pore of my being.

Tsunade slowly raised her head to see me standing there "...the fuck you want?" she uttered in a way that was between slurring and spitting as she began to sit fully erect, pushing herself up with her hands. "Pfeh, doesn't fucking matter" Tsunade continued with a drunken wave of her arm, she was obviously sloshed "sit down" she gestured at the chair in front of her desk but I remained standing and staring "oh what? You think you're better than me?!" Tsunade continued slurring then laughed "maybe you are!" I continued staring "would you quit fucking looking at me like that!" Tsunade shouted "you look like my damned Grandfather" Tsunade looked back down at her desk "...always staring, always judging..." she mumbled then turned her head back up sharply "that what you're here to do?! Judge me?!" she shouted, then laughed again. "Well Judge away!" she threw her arms up, still laughing "'cause you're fucking right, it is no different, not in any goddamned way, at the end of the day we're all the same; even you and your little pissant village!" and at that I could feel my blood boil. "Awwwe?, have I made the perpetually stoic Gaara of the Sand Waterfalls angry?" Tsunade mocked "gonna cry?, gonna rage out?, gonna strike me down?" Tsunade threw her arms out in both directions "go the fuck ahead!" she yelled "and continue the cycle of violence you claim you're 'oh so above' all of a sudden."

My teeth were clenched and my hands balled into fists, now was NOT the time for Tsunade to be pushing my buttons "...don't push me" I hissed.

Tsunade snorted "what's the worst you're gonna do?..."

I was nearing my breaking point.

"...boy?" Tsunade added and that pushed me past it, in an instant I had her pinned to the wall by her stomach with sand and my forearm pressed to her throat "GO AHEAD!" she cried directly into my face, not offering up the least bit of resistance "you may not be scared of me Gaara, but if you think I'm scared of you, you're a fucking idiot; what's the worst you can do, kill me?, think I give a FUCK!?" Suddenly I saw tears coming down her face "...everyone I've ever loved is already dead anyway..." her anger and bluster turned to sobbing and weeping, I sighed and calmed myself then let her down, she slumped onto the floor and assumed a fetal position as her weeping transformed into uncontrollable bawling.

Shizune appeared from the hall and, quite literally, leapt across the room to come between me and Tsunade, kneeling before her with one arm around her back, glaring at me "I told you now wasn't a good time!" she scolded before turning her back to me to embrace Tsunade fully.

I took a deep inhale and closed my eyes "I just came to inquire as to when we would be meeting to discuss the situation involving my sister and Shikamaru, please have the Hokage contact me with further details when she is in better condition; that is all" I said in one go and abruptly turned to leave.

…

I loved the taste of his lips, the feel of his thick dark hair, his chiseled features and that devilishly handsome grin that would always grace his otherwise expressionless face when we kissed, he gripped my hair roughly pulling me closer as I gripped his shirt with one hand and caressed his face with the other. I drew his tongue into my mouth and suckled gently on it, he moaned a little and thrust his hips up towards me, I broke the kiss off and looked down at him, grinning big "Gaara's not going to be back for some time...and what he doesn't know won't hurt him" I said huskily, with something of a purr.

Shikamaru kept smirking "we better make it quick, it's bound to be troublesome if he walks in on us" I was already way ahead of him and and removing his belt, still grinning, fuck man did Shikamaru ever make me horny and Gaara's request that we not make love while we're here was more than a little absurd as far as I was concerned.

I had already reached into his pants and whipped it out so to speak when the door barged open "Temari! We-" Gaara stopped mid-sentence as Shikamaru hurriedly zipped up. Gaara's gaze was rather blank, well, blanker than usual and almost...sad? "We're all going need to meet with the Hokage and hammer out the final details of your arrangement at some point soon, she is going to contact me with more details shortly" Gaara finished his statement, his voice hollower than usual.

"Gaara, we were just-"

"I know what you were doing, and it's fine; I guess I was just a little jealous and being bitter earlier" he continued.

"Jealous?" I inquired.

Gaara gave a frown and shook his head slightly "forget it" he sighed "I'm going to be gone for some time, so, ermm, feel free to...get back to it, I guess?" he shrugged.

"Gaara, are you okay?" I asked.

Gaara paused for a few moments before answering "no" he said "no Temari, I am not."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked.

Again Gaara paused "...no" he said.

I cleared my throat "Gaara, you know I'm your big sis and you can tell me anything; right?"

Gaara gave a half-hearted smile "sure" he said and left without so much as a second glance.

There was an awkwardness in the air now that was lingering, to be honest the mood was kind of killed for me "I'm sorry Shikamaru I-".

"You love your brother and you can tell that something is hurting him, this causes you distress, and you are further distressed by how he will not let you in; this in turn hurts you" Shikamaru said what I was going to say better than I could have said it.

"Yeah, pretty much" I acknowledged.

"Your relationship to Gaara clearly means a lot to you, have you ever tried to repair the bridge?"

I shook my head "you know I'm no good at things like that, if I open my mouth I'm bound to just make it even worse, make him even colder and more distant towards me than he already is" I replied.

Shikamaru was silent for a moment, he looked up at the ceiling and made a 'hrrrmn' noise "do you know why he acts this way to you?"

I sighed "he doesn't trust me for one thing, he thinks I make poor choices but I know that's not even half of it; the real reason is he resents me" I said somberly.

"Why?" Shikamaru asked.

I took a deep inhale, this was forcing me to face some emotions I'd rather not have to deal with right now "I think it's mostly because he feels like I abandoned him to die, feels like I never showed him any love or tenderness when we were younger and that my attempts at closeness now are less than genuine on my part."

"Is any of that true?" Shikamaru continued his line of, for me at least, emotionally-laden questions.

"I'll admit I was less than a good sister to Gaara or Kankuro when we were kids, but we talked about that already, and if Gaara called me on it I wouldn't defend any of it" I took another deep breath "as for the other thing...I'll also admit that I didn't behave with the greatest tactical sense when Gaara was taken by Akatsuki but it wasn't like I didn't care or that I was trying to dodge my promises, I just..." this was actually quite difficult for me to admit "...I was scared." Shikamaru was listening intently "I had just come back from Konoha to find that Gaara was taken and Kankuro had just almost died before my eyes after going after him and I always considered them the better fighters out of the three of us and if they didn't stand a chance..." I trailed off. Shikamaru gestured for me to continue and I gave my head a shake to recollect myself "that's only part of it though, when I get overwhelmed emotionally like that I kind of just...shut down I guess you could call it, automatic responses take over and I don't think with one hundred percent of my head and just kind of do what I'm told to do without really thinking, I think it's a defense mechanism I picked up from childhood." I sighed "and when I finally did come to my senses I was out in the middle of nowhere, Kankuro ended up having to be the one to get us organized to go after Gaara and when we finally got there, well, you know the rest and you know me...in situations like that I just end up acting like a bitch because I'd rather be remembered as mean than incompetent."

Shikamaru scratched his chin "have you ever tried telling Gaara any of this?" I shook my head again "why not?" he asked.

I was silent for a little while before answering "...what if it isn't good enough an explanation?, what if it all only makes him more upset with me?"

Shikamaru shrugged "then that's his problem, but you'll have done everything you can to fix things between the two of you and no longer have any reason to feel bad about it" I had to admit, Shikamaru's logic was flawless here.

"I understand what you're saying on an intellectual level Shikamaru, and I know it makes sense; it's just...I don't know if I could take that kind of rejection from Gaara" Shikamaru kinked his head "I know, I took it pretty well from Kankuro before but seriously, fuck him, Kankuro's a prick who just enjoys being cruel when it boils down to it so I really don't care what he thinks, but Gaara on the other hand-".

"You respect" Shikamaru finished my sentence for me as he was often apt to do.

I nodded "deeply" I added "if it had been Gaara that day who ranted at me and not Kankuro, I, I don't know if I could take that kind of rejection from him...I think my heart would just explode to be honest-" I stopped mid sentence as Shikamaru stood up and went towards the door "what're you-".

"Going after him" Shikamaru answered and was out the door before I had the chance to say another word.

…

"Gaara!" I heard a deep voice from behind as I continued on my aimless walk, ignoring it I pressed on "Gaara!" the voice repeated louder this time, growing nearer, "Gaara!" again it repeated, I kept walking when a hand grasped my shoulder.

I responded with a swift turn and a swipe of my arm knocking the hand away "what do you want?!"

"Merely to engage in dialogue" the deep monotone belonged to Shino, a friend of Hinata's.

"How long have you been following me?" I inquired.

"Since you departed company with Naruto and Hinata some hours ago, I have been shadowing you waiting for a time we may speak in private" I gave a suspicious look "I follow Hinata a lot, remaining undetected is a specialty of my clan" Shino continued "Naruto isn't good for her, nor she for him, I have known this for a long time now."

"Why are you telling this to me?, go tell her that then if you feel that strongly."

"Because it is not my place to tell her whom she may or may not have feelings for."

"That still doesn't answer why you're telling me" Shino was silent, "you've been spying on us, haven't you?" I deduced, my anger rising again.

"Only insomuch that while following Hinata I have observed you with her and you bring out something in her that I have yet to see anyone else do before" I remained silent myself as Shino spoke "Naruto on the other hand smothers it, he is too direct and domineering and she just allows him to take over, it is through no fault of his own and to be honest fault lies more with her than him. Hinata naturally gravitates towards situations in which she can play the knave, the weakling, and with Naruto around she naturally falls into that pattern of behavior, you however directly challenge that mode of thinking on her part which is something Naruto lacks the intellectual capacity to do; in a nutshell he makes her weaker and you make her stronger."

"How is any of this my problem?, she's obviously made her choice between the two of us."

Shino went silent again at that but if I didn't know any better I could have sworn I saw him crack the faintest hint of a half smile "has she?" he inquired.

"Oie Gaara!" came a new voice.

"We'll continue this conversation later Kazekage" Shino finished as he dispersed into a cloud of bugs and was gone in a gust of air.

"Gaara!" the new voice repeated, somewhat frantically.

"...I'm over here" I replied after a pause and Shikamaru came into view.

"Finally found you!, I was looking for you earlier, look there's been an incident and it looks like it's about to get real ugly."

"What?!" "Hinata and Naruto were leaving that fancy bar when the entire Hyuga clan surrounded them, Naruto is completely dead drunk and borderline useless, last I heard they were about to-"

"Get Temari and meet me there!" I interrupted and took off on my sand.

…

"The fact remains, Hinata, this one entered the Hyuga estate unmolested and assaulted father which you bore witness unto and did nothing to stop, following this you absconded with the assailant, this cannot go unpunished; an example must be made of traitors" Hanabi spoke harshly. I couldn't speak, I was petrified with fear and Naruto was so utterly drunk he was passed out on the ground, I was completely on my own...I...I should've known this would happen! Father wasn't just going to let an insult to him like this go unpunished and he had eluded to flat out wanting me gone earlier, how could I not see this coming, oh great Kami...I'm going to die.

"Enough of this, dispatch the Kyuubi and bring the traitor Hinata back to the estate, we'll figure out what we're going to do with her then" Neji added and approached Naruto with murderous intent in his eyes.

"NO!" I shouted as though it were involuntary and stood between him and Naruto, Byakugan activated.

"...move aside and this will be easier on you, sister" Hanabi hissed from behind him.

"N-n-n-NO!" I stammered "I won't let you hurt him" shit, what have I just gotten myself into?, I'm no match for Neji let alone my entire clan...dammit if only Naruto was sober, Neji reached to shove me out of the way but I slapped his hand away with a strike and assumed a fighting stance "I won't let you hurt him!" I repeated myself.

"Hinata, if you surrender peacefully Hiashi-sama may be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt but if you resist I will not hesitate to kill you if you make it necessary."

Neji wasn't joking, I could tell, but at the same time I couldn't move out of the way...to me Neji killing Naruto was more frightening than him killing me "sobeit!" Neji cried and let forth with a strike that I moved to intercept when at the last second a wall of sand divided the two of us. I looked up and saw, out of what was simply a passing dust cloud a moment earlier, Gaara materialize and drop down from the sky and land adjacent and slightly behind me, with one deft motion he lifted Naruto on a platform of sand and ascended him safely into the sky above the reach of anyone on the ground and with another knocked Neji back by throwing the wall into him.

As the dust cleared Gaara bellowed "no one harms these two!"

"This isn't your fight Kazekage!" Hanabi shouted.

"I'm making it mine" Gaara answered sharply "and I will not say it again, no one here shall harm either Hinata or Naruto!" he bellowed a second time.

Neji looked at us with absolute fury in his eyes and made a beeline straight for Gaara while the rest of the clan leapt towards us "follow my lead and you'll get through this alive, don't doubt yourself, you have inner wells of strength as of yet untapped" Gaara spoke quickly before the melee began, as though he could tell just how terrified I was. One of my clanmates, a branch house member, came right at me first and struck but his first strike was blocked by a wave of sand knocking his blow aside, sensing my moment I shifted laterally to his flank and laid into the side of his ribs with a gentlefist strike doubling him over and with another across his head knocking him out.

I didn't have any time to process what I'd just done as two more were on me and I didn't have time to wait for support from Gaara "Kaiten!" I performed the Divine Whirl and knocked them both back but a third charged up through the middle and struck me dead in the chest with gentlefist knocking the breath out of me and sending blood up my throat. He came forward with another strike but this one I deflected and knocked him back with a strike to the chest of my own provoking much the same reaction, he came back with another of his own but I bent backwards and matrixed under, as I rose I came back with a straight open palm to the middle of his face, he dropped. As he fell I noticed the two from earlier who collided with my Divine Whirl had changed their attention and were now scaling buildings trying to get at Naruto.

"Gaara!"

"BUSY!" he cried, I turned back, and practically my entire clan was on him "GET TO NARUTO!" he barked, still I hesitated "I'LL BE FINE! DO IT!"

Without any further delay I began scaling the buildings after them...

…

I clasped my hands into seals "SAND SHELL!" I cried and formed a shell of sand around me, the sound of blows hammering on the shell from outside echoed inside the chamber as I formed more seals "Sand missiles!" I continued and heard sound of general carnage. As I lowered the shell I saw the group of six that had leapt towards me were now impaled through their chests and stomachs with giant sharp stalactites of hardened sand, now the rest of the clan was hesitating in their next charge. "I'd take them to the medical-nin asap if I were you and hoped for them to survive" I recommended as I recalled the stalactites allowing them to hover threateningly as well as leaving gaping and profusely bleeding wounds in the felled Hyuga. Neji snarled at me then looked back to the rest of the Hyuga and gave them a nod, a few responded by grabbing up their felled comrades and rushing off with them as the rest, including Neji, formed a circle around me.

"He's too dangerous for the rest of you...I'll take him" Neji said grimly "head after Hinata and make sure she's taken into our custody, then kill the Kyuubi" as soon as I heard that I began clasping my hands into seals but Neji was quick and immediately disrupted my jutsu by slapping my hands out of the seal I was forming as the others darted off. "You're finished!" Neji cried and let into me with two strikes "two palms!" I staggered backwards "four palms!, eight palms!, sixteen palms!, thirty two palms!, sixty four palms!, one hundred twenty eight palms!" he laid the full force of his eight trigrams into me and I collapsed forward. Neji let out a laugh "too easy!" he motioned to move then realized he couldn't and saw his foot was wrapped in sand that had snaked its way up from underneath him "WHAT?!" he tried to move his foot as more snaked up and rooted him to the ground as I rose up, layers and layers of sand armor peeling off me.

"YOU SONOFABITCH!" Neji hollered.

"Two things you failed to consider, one; gentlefist needs to make direct chakra contact to skin, if there is anything between to disrupt or absorb that flow it is effectively just a tap, against those who possess a chakra armor such as myself gentlefist is completely useless. Secondly, your fight with Naruto during the Chunin exams seven years ago demonstrated the Byakugan's weakness in detecting attacks from below; this fight between us was over before it even began" I lectured as I lifted him into the air "now I must make this short, Sand Coff-"

"DAI-KAITEN!" Neji shouted and with a massive whirl dispersed the sand I had pinned against him and landed on his feet "Eight Trigrams: Mountain Crusher!" Neji cried and with a forceful palm thrust sent a massive vacuum of pure chakra straight at me that sent me flying backwards at tremendous speed into an adjacent defensive wall, utterly crumbling it down atop me. I shielded myself with sand as the wall tumbled down on me and struggled to my feet but Neji had beat a tactical retreat and was nowhere to be found, yet I got the feeling that this was far from over between us...

…

"Eight Trigrams: Vacuum Palm!" I fired but they dodged and kept hopping to higher and higher rooftops in an attempt to reach where Gaara had lifted Naruto, but I was quicker and gaining on them rapidly. As my cutting them off grew closer and closer to an inevitability they were forced to turn and deal with me before continuing their pursuit, they rushed me together and I repeated Gaara's words from earlier in my head as I braced to receive their charge.

Suddenly they stopped in their tracks unable to move "Shadow Possession Jutsu: successful" Shikamaru dropped to one side of me and Temari on the other from a higher rooftop.

Having no time to look a gift horse in the mouth I spat out quickly "there's more coming from behind, over a dozen.".

Temari laughed "that all? I got this" she turned and planted her fan in the ground "which direction are they approaching from?"

"Southwest."

"Gotcha."

Temari waited patiently as Shikamaru maintained his shadow possession of the other two "why don't you just shadow-strangle those chumps?" Temari called over at Shikamaru.

"I'd prefer not to kill fellow Shinobi of Konoha until I know exactly what's going on" he replied.

Temari snorted and spat "they were ready to turn on one of their own like a gang of jackals at the drop of a hat" Temari nodded over to me "they're lower than scum as far as I'm concerned, I say kill 'em" she concluded then suddenly peered out "oh look, here come the idiot brigade now" Temari said sarcastically with a hint of excitement to her voice.

The rest of my clan involved in the attack all landed in front of Temari "move aside Sand Shinobi! This is not your fight!" Hanabi, who was apparently leading them, bellowed out.

"Nah, I think I'm good right here" Temari said with a smirk.

Hanabi growled "you desert pigs sure have a habit of sticking your noses where they don't belong."

"Yeah, we do that" Temari kept up the sarcasm "listen, I'm the last bitch in the world you're going to win a pissing contest with so I'd put up and shut up if I were you, except..." Temari trailed off "thirteen, fourteen, fifteen" she counted "yeah, fifteen against me is hardly fair, so tell you what" Temari put one arm behind her back "this should even out the odds."

My sister was fuming and to be perfectly honest it was a pretty comical sight "I'M GONNA MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS YOU BITCH! ATTACK!" Hanabi and the rest of the clan made for Temari and with impressive strength Temari whipped up and opened her fan one handed and gave it a powerful swing faster than any of them could react.

"Wind Release: Cast Net!" Temari cried and incredibly narrow and sharp tunnels of wind formed in the arc of her swing inflicting deep and grave slashing wounds to the entire group, some of them were even killed outright having limbs or even their heads cut right off.

"Temari that's too extreme!" Shikamaru scolded.

"I don't show mercy to traitors and bullies!" Temari yelled back, not taking her eyes off the carnage she had just created, my sister fell to the ground miraculously only sporting minor wounds.

Hanabi got up and made a beeline for Temari "SHE'S THE TRAITOR!" she screamed and got smashed to the ground as Temari folded her fan back up and swung it like a great club directly into her ribcage.

"So, you're all ganging up on Hinata about to beat the piss out of her and somehow she's the traitor?, yeah that makes perfect sense" Temari lectured as Hanabi got up.

"She did nothing while Uzumaki Naruto invaded our home and assaulted father!"

Temari snorted "so? last time I checked he treats her like a piece of dirt he scraped off the bottom of his sandal and you're barking up the WROOONG tree when it comes to abusive fathers, little girl."

"Father knows best, it's his prerogative how he treats us and if he speaks down to Hinata or slaps her or whatever it must be because she deserves-" before Hanabi could finish her statement Temari kicked her in the ribs HARD, I heard an audible snap as Hanabi lifted into the air and Temari grabbed her by the throat and held her eye level, one-handed.

"So she's supposed to just take it, right?, take the abuse, take the beatings, all of it to make her a better person right?!" Temari spit in her face "you make me SICK" Temari walked Hanabi over to the edge of the rooftop holding her out over it "I should drop you right fucking here and watch you fall to your death, see those wastes of life behind me, does it LOOK like I have a problem with killing?!" Hanabi was turning blue, Temari was apparently gripping her so tight she was choking her "it's because of people like you, people with that attitude that I had to go through nine fucking years of hell, that my brothers had to endure hell, that the little that's left of our family is completely fucked up TO. THIS. DAY!" Temari screamed in her face "...people like you took that away from me, took the possibility of a loving family from me."

Temari was literally trembling in rage when I put a hand on her shoulder "Temari...killing my sister isn't going to change any of that."

Temari slowly turned to me, her face contorted in rage, tears streaming down from her eyes, she looked at me for a moment as though considering me before turning sharply back to Hanabi still in her grip "you're one lucky, LUCKY, little cunt; you know that?!" Temari tossed her to the side like a ragdoll and Hanabi gasped to take in oxygen.

"Anbu is on the scene, they have your brother surrounded" Shikamaru pointed out...

…

"Six Hyuga Shinobi are in intensive care as we speak Kazekage and Neji is claiming you are the one who has put them there; this is a grave situation."

I laughed, to be quite honest after everything that's happened today I really just didn't give a shit anymore "oh well, if this is to mean the resuming of hostilities between our villages then sobeit, on the morrow I can remove all of my students and instructors, return to Suna and we can exchange formal declarations of war, so it's all official and on paper" I smiled, a fake and sarcastic smile.

The chief ANBU officer sighed "my hope is that it does not come to that, this is not within our jurisdiction as it is above our authority to incarcerate a Kage, the ramifications of this incident must be dealt with between yourself and the Hokage as well as her chief advisers, however, the charges laid against both Hyuga Hinata and Uzumaki Naruto by the Hyuga clan are not meritless and they must be taken into custody until they are either sentenced or cleared."

I shrugged "then I invoke the right of sanctuary" there was silence "you do know what that is, right?"

"Yes, but-".

"If you are charging Naruto and Hinata with treasonous assault and clan treason respectively then they are technically from the moment of their charging and during their incarceration missing-nin as these are capital offenses, yes?" He nodded "and as a Kage it is within my power to grant sanctuary to any missing-nin I choose thus bringing them under my protection as temporary Shinobi of my village and making them my responsibility, so, I invoke the right of sanctuary and claim Hyuga Hinata and Uzumaki Naruto."

There was a long pause"...technically you can do this, yes, but I doubt very much that the Hokage is going to be happy about it."

"She can blow me, in fact, with all the blowing your village seems to give your Daimyo I'd wager she's got a lot of experience at it."

Suddenly another ANBU agent dropped in "more dead and injured on the rooftops, looks to be the work of the Kazekage's sister; Temari."

I sighed, closed my eyes and gripped the bridge of my nose between my forefingers "I will pay reparations to the families out of my own pocket and Temari will receive strict disciplinary action" I said.

"And should the Shinobi you grievously injured not make it?"

"Then their families may expect reparations as well, now, are we done here?"

"I suppose we are Kazekage, just remember that as long as you are giving sanctuary they must lodge with you and must be accompanied by either you or one of your Shinobi of no less than Jonin rank at all times."

"I am aware how sanctuary works otherwise I would never have invoked it."

"Fair enough Kazekage, it would be a true shame if what happened here today means the end of peace between our villages but it very well could."

I said nothing and returned to collect my sister, her boyfriend, Naruto and Hinata and fill them in on how I just saved their asses...

…

"...and that's what's going on" I had waited until we were back at the home I was staying in before I explained everything; me, my sister, Shikamaru and Hinata were all in the main room and Naruto was sleeping it off in the spare bedroom.

Hinata looked at me, her face pale with terror "wh-wh-what if-".

"If you are found guilty of wrongdoing don't worry, I have a contingency plan."

"Which is?" Shikamaru asked, I looked in his and my sister's direction but was silent "...you don't trust me, do you?" Shikamaru said, then let out a sigh "would it help if I assured you that anything you say now will not leave this room?, I intend to wed your sister Gaara which makes you family by extension and betraying your trust would be like betraying her, which I have no intention of doing."

I looked over at Temari "Gaara, all Shikamaru had to do was barge in and say 'Gaara says we need to meet him *here*' and boom I'm there ready and prepared to kill for you, if THAT isn't enough for you to trust me then I don't know what exactly it is you want from me!"

I let out a deep breath "...my contingency plan is that we flee."

"Flee?" Temari replied incredulously.

"I'm going to contact Kankuro ahead of time and tell him to be prepared, if they're found guilty he can be here within a few days with several units of Shinobi to provide us cover while we spring them and get out."

"First of all, none of that will be necessary as neither Hinata or Naruto will be found guilty of capital offenses, though assaulting a fellow Shinobi is a crime within Konoha, attempting to enact vigilante justice as the Hyuga did is a much graver offense; they have more to be worried about. Hinata did nothing wrong in attempting to prevent her clan from participating in an illegal act, she'll be cleared. Naruto however will face some form of punishment, probably a month of obligatory D rank missions and grunt work and at worst they'll strip his Chunin rank and bump him back down to Genin; no one's facing exile or imprisonment over this." Shikamaru laughed "not like a prison strong enough to hold Naruto exists anyway, and they'd never let the Kyuubi out from Konoha's control" he added.

"What about Temari? any idea on what kind of political ramifications we can expect?" I asked

Shikamaru sighed "that is a bit more serious, although technically the argument can be made that as the Hyuga were participating in an unsanctioned attack they were forfeiting Konoha's protection should anything happen to them thus making Temari's actions not an act of war and, as the Hokage definitely does not want to enter into another Shinobi war, it's likely she will adopt such a position."

I paused in my speech to contemplate Shikamaru's words when Temari interjected "listen, Gaara, Shikamaru has a lot of experience with how things work here in Konoha politically, he knows more than we do when it comes to this; we should trust him, I promise you Gaara he's not trying to lead us astray here."

I let out a deep exhale "...fine" I turned to Temari "however, using your cast net like that was incredibly foolish on your part!" I scolded

Temari looked back at me rather angrily "don't give me that shit Gaara, first of all they were coming at me to kill me and if they got past me they were going to kill Naruto and do who knows what to Hinata I did what I had to!" Temari paused to think for a moment "and you're being a hypocrite, you nearly killed six of them yourself and were going to kill Neji if he didn't escape!" she concluded.

I stared back at her "fair enough."

Temari looked back at Naruto "friggen lightweight" she said with a laugh "his dumb ass is still passed out."

"He didn't know how strong those things you bought for him were, he drank like nine of them" Hinata piqued up.

I looked at Hinata in disbelief "how is he not dead?"

"The server looked at us that same way!" Hinata tried to smile but I could tell it was halfhearted then looked around "umm...I don't want to be..." she started stammering then steadied herself "I don't want to be rude but could you both give me and Gaara a moment b-by ourselves, I-I-I want to talk to him" she managed to say with only minor stuttering.

Temari gave her a rather large smile "sure hon, c'mon Shikamaru."

Once they were gone Hinata closed her eyes as though she was afraid and began speaking "Gaara, I want to apologize to you, I...what I did was wrong, I acted with my feelings instead of with my head and I ended up hurting you and I'm sorry" I was silent "...do you forgive me?"

I looked at her plainly "to be honest Hinata I don't really know, I came to your aid because I care about you, this I cannot deny, but at the same I am also very angry with you, these past few days I let you in quicker than I've ever let anyone in, I made myself emotionally vulnerable before you; something which I never do for anybody and you reward me by playing with my heart, do you expect me not to be angry?"

"I wasn't playing Gaara, I really did feel something for you then; and I still do I just-"

"Just what?"

"I feel the same way about Naruto too! And I'm confused!" I went very quiet when Hinata said that and looked towards the ground, after a few minutes of silence Hinata asked "...should I leave you alone?"

"That would probably be for the best" I answered.

Hinata started tearing slightly "o-o-okay" she muttered.

I stood up "you can stay here in the living area, I'll withdraw to my bed chambers" as I returned to my room all I could think about was Naruto, how strong they say he is, about Hinata's feelings for him, about all the people who love him...

...Naruto...


	13. Chapter 13

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Hiashi screamed in such a furious rage spittle rained from his mouth and he slammed his fist on Shizune's desk. "I AM ASSAULTED WITHIN MY OWN HOME, FOUR OF MY CLAN DEAD AND SIX HOSPITALIZED BY THE HAND OF SUNA, MY ELDEST DAUGHTER A TRAITOR AND THE HOKAGE CANNOT EVEN BE BOTHERED TO MEET IN PERSON?!" He slammed both his fists this time.

Shizune groaned in frustration "Hiashi, according to the reports your clan attempted to assault and kill Uzumaki Naruto; is this true?"

"HE ASSAULED ME IN MY OWN HOME!"

"Is this true?!" Shizue raised her voice.

"...yes but-"

"Then they were killed as missing-nin and not Shinobi of Konoha, regardless of Uzumaki Naruto's actions such vigilantism is strictly forbidden and immediately revokes their Shinobi status upon its undertaking."

Hiashi was seething "so we are forbidden from defending our honor?!"

Shizune was getting visibly irritated "the ENTIRE reason we organized into Hidden Villages in the first place was to do away with petty clan feuding like this, if you had a problem you should have reported it through the proper channels and disciplinary actions would've been taken, your clan's 'honor' does not enter into this-"

"HOW DARE YOU-"

"-INSTEAD! You chose to respond to Uzumaki Naruto's alleged attack on your person in kind via your clan."

Hiashi fidgeted in his seat slightly at this "don't be preposterous! I gave no such order, my clan acted upon their own initiative."

"That's a lie, you're just covering your ass" I broke my silence.

Hiashi turned to me, scowling "I wouldn't expect a clanless desert swine like you to understand." Je turned back to Shizune "Uzumaki's attack on my person was an attack on them all; how can you blame them for reacting in anger!"

"Send in Naruto" Shizune let out a relenting call and in he strolled still moderately hung over "Naruto, is it true that you assaulted Hiashi."

"Yeah! I punched him right in the gut!" Naruto declared while shaking a clenched fist "and he's lucky that's all I did!"

I shook my head slightly, Naruto's far too simple to know when it's best to just lie.

"YOU SEE?!" Hiashi gestured at Naruto "he's a savage!"

"Naruto, do you have any explanation for your actions."

"He hit Hinata!"

"OUTRAGEOUS! I would NEVER lay a hand on my daughter"

"LIAR!" Naruto pointed and shouted.

"HOW DARE YOU!-"

"ENOUGH!" came a loud call as the adjacent door swung open and Tsunade stumbled in.

"Hokage-sama! You should rest!" Shizune said in a panicked tone.

"You're losing control of the situation, I'll handle this," Tsunade said with a groan as she shambled her way behind her desk "up!" she signaled Shizune and took her place before shooing her away. "Naruto!, as punishment for your outburst I'm assigning you to a full month of D rank missions and suspending your Chunin rank until I see fit that you're able to handle the responsibility that comes with the title."

"THAT'S IT?!" Hiashi shouted "HE ASSAULTS ME AND YOU-"

"As for you!," Tsunade interrupted "as your Shinobi saw fit to act outside the law here in Konoha all their medical expenses are to be paid out of your own pocket and you are lucky I am not charging them with treason!, and the only reason I am not charging you with treasonous misconduct is because I cannot prove that you gave the order!"

"If this were my village we'd interrogate one of the Hyuga until a confession could be extracted, one way or another" I interjected.

"WELL IT ISN'T YOUR VILLAGE GAARA! IT'S MINE! AND WE DON'T OPERATE THAT WAY HERE!" Tsunade shouted at me.

I gave a shrug "good thing too, for Hiashi's sake."

Hiashi looked at me and snarled, then back to Tsunade "what about my Shinobi the Kage's sister killed!"

"As they also were operating outside the laws of Konoha when this transpired their fates are not my concern!"

"I must also point out that in spite of this I have promised to pay reparations out of my own pocket as an apologetic gesture."

Hiashi gave a sharp laugh "reparations?!, as though that will make up for their deaths to their families."

"I can hardly bring them back to life Hiashi, what else would you like me to-"

"YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FILTHY MONEY YOU CLANLESS DESERT SWINE!"

"THAT'S IT! OUT! BOTH OF YOU!," Tsunade screamed over him "I'VE MADE MY DECISIONS; DON'T LIKE THEM?! TOUGH SHIT!"

"Whatever, a month of D ranks was still totally worth it anyway...and it's not like I earned that Chunin rank" Naruto said and was the first out.

Hiashi gave Tsunade a cold stare "...this insult to the Hyuga clan first by Suna and now by our own Hokage cannot be forgiven; you will regret this-"

"I SAID GET OUT!" Tsunade cut him off and he stormed out.

I began to rise "not you!" Tsunade pointed at me "you, stay"

"...is that an order? Hokage-dono?" I said lowly in a challenging tone.

Tsunade waited for Hiashi and Naruto to leave before she let out a deep and exacerbated sigh "...Gaara, can you just not?; I'm not in the mood to have my balls busted right now, besides, we need to talk."

"Very well" I remained seated.

"About last night" Tsunade began.

"Yes?" I replied blankly.

"I should explain myself...I was..." Tsunade sighed then slapped her palms on her desk "DAMMIT GAARA WHAT YOU SAID AT THE EXAMS GOT TO ME, ALRIGHT?!"

"Good!" I snapped back "it was damn well supposed to!"

"I get it Gaara, the Shinobi world is ultimately built on the backs of the innocent and fueled by the blood money of the wealthy; it's how it fucking works and it sucks BUT at the same time are we the ones to blame for it? People pay us for a service and we provide it. Let me give you an example, recently a mission came in for us, it was an assassination job and the buyer wished to remain anonymous but he provided us the cash and the target was eliminated. I ask you Gaara; who killed that man? Was it the Shinobi or the one who bought the Shinobi's services? The buyer is the one who wanted him dead and our Shinobi was just the tool he decided to use." She sighed "it's not personal for Shinobi, it's just business, is it our fault how those who have the money wish to use our services?, their demand has shaped our business not the other way around" Tsunade finished.

"You sound just like Baki" I said somewhat condescendingly.

"Are we wrong?" Tsunade fired back.

I frowned slightly "it's a bad way to look at it."

"ARE WE WRONG?!" she repeated, shouting, to which I had to give a sigh

"...No, you're not wrong"

"Then what's your problem?!"

"IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN THIS WAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!" I shouted in frustration. "The day, no, the very second the very INSTANT being a Shinobi became a business and not an individual's calling this shit became inevitable, the Hidden Villages haven't made Ninjutsu better, the whole system has cheapened it, deformed it, mutilated it into something horrible, into a blight upon the world and we as Shinobi now are the ONLY ones who can fix that!" I fired back passionately, my normally stoic demeanor dropping entirely.

"What would you suggest then?"

"Abolish the Chunin exams for one thing."

"What?"

"You know as well as I do that the Chunin exams exist to bring in revenue, they're little more than an excuse to attract wealthy Daimyo and merchants to spend money and gamble, the original purpose they were intended to serve hasn't even been a thing for some time now, but we continue the practice for all the wrong reasons; it's gone from being a tool to maintain Shinobi alliances and relations to simply creating a mass global market that's made everything much worse." Tsunade wasn't interrupting, she seemed to be listening intently "we should be more autonomous, in theory each Village is autonomous from their nation but in practice this is not true because we still need their money, so, the simplest and most obvious solution is to abolish that need" Tsunade's expression went incredulous at that though she remained quiet. "We'd need to become more than just killers but farmers, bakers, metalworkers etc. and we'd need to share all things amongst ourselves, bartering if necessary, there would be no currencies of ANY kind within any of the villages, no one would be able to exert any kind of financial control, all of that would be regulated internally. We would go back to the old philosophies of Ninjutsu from the days of myths; protecting the innocent, aiding the weak, guarding the common man and making sure their simple lives go unmolested by bandit, government or other forces, we would-"

"Gaara" Tsunade finally interrupted me "all of that sounds lovely but it's fucking impossible."

"How do you know?"

"Just listen to yourself! It's pure Utopian nonsense! People don't operate that way and you'd never be able to get all Shinobi behind something like this, a radical fraction MAYBE and that's still a big maybe" she reasoned.

"...I'd make them" I growled lowly.

"Make them?"

"Manipulate then, bend them to my will, force them if need be; I'd drag the Shinobi world kicking and screaming to a better tomorrow whether it liked it or not."

"You sound like a despot."

"What is a Kage BUT a despot?!" I raised my voice. "We have absolute power over our villages should we choose to just take it, if I am to be a despot I'd be the kind that betters the lives of the many and not the kind that pursues their own petty agenda or sits on their ass and lets the world around them go to shit!" I declared authoritatively.

Tsunade stared at me hard for a good ten seconds, a stare which I returned, before she finally uttered "...you're serious aren't you?"

"Completely."

Tsunade laughed and shook her head "Grandpa would've loved you" Tsunade smiled, an almost bitter smile, "he'd talk all the time about the Shinobi world going in the wrong direction, how in his day Ninja cared about things bigger than money." Tsunade sighed "and he's dead, just like Dan, just like Nawaki, just like Jiraiya."

"All victims of this incredibly violent world we Shinobi have ultimately shaped, I'd think you of all people who have lost so many because of it could see my point and my disgust with it."

Tsunade looked up at me, her face cracking with emotion "...maybe you're right" she said with a shrug "but I'm too old for this kind of thing now, too broken."

"You look fine to me" I said with a shrug "and fifty seven isn't terribly old."

Tsunade smirked "you've done your homework on me then."

"I know your techniques well enough; I know that gem on your head is what keeps you young and in a pinch can be used to heal all wounds in your body if you're near death" I elaborated.

Tsunade gave a weak smile "...you just don't know the other half."

"Other half?"

"It keeps me young on the outside Gaara...the inside is another story."

I piqued a curious brow "firstly, every time I use my gem to heal myself it ages my body a significant portion and secondly..." Tsunade frowned slightly "...secondly, though it keeps the outside of my body and all that is superficial looking young it actually accelerates the aging process for everything that actually matters, you know, my lungs, liver, kidneys and all that."

I gave her a disapproving look "before you say anything, yes it's vanity, and yes, it's stupid doubly so because as a Medi-Nin I know the ins and outs of just how damaging that is but what can I say? I make no claim about being perfect, besides, I'd been monitoring my own medical charts this whole time." Tsunade frowned before she continued "then one day a few weeks ago utterly out of the blue I just...I couldn't breathe, I was rushed to the Medical-Nin and they put me on an oxygen breather for a little while, did some tests, told me that I essentially had the lungs of an 80 year old who'd been smoking a pack of cigs every day for their entire life. Naturally I didn't believe them and insisted there must be some mistake, but there was none; the charts, the signs, it was all there, I just hadn't counted on such a sudden aging and degeneration spike like this." Tsunade gave me a serious look "I'm dying Gaara."

I had an 'aha' moment in my head "...that would explain-"

"Yes, I don't have nearly the stamina I used to...those few blows were literally all I had and if you had pressed that fight-"

"You would have been screwed."

Tsunade nodded "I'm preparing to step down as Hokage after these exams are concluded" she said solemnly.

"...Why are you telling me this?" I asked after a short pause.

"To be honest Gaara, my advisers have been pushing for either Kakashi or Danzo to be the 6th Hokage and Kakashi really doesn't want to take it, so it was looking like a forgone conclusion, I didn't like it but I figure they know best right?" Tsunade gave a wry grin "but now after talking to you it's apparent to me why I didn't like it, Danzo is old and so are his ideas, the new Hokage needs to be from your generation, right now this Shinobi world needs some fresh perspective and we're certainly not going to find it through the traditional channels."

I nodded, actually feeling somewhat pleased with myself that my little rant actually had some impact "who do you have in mind?" I asked.

Tsunade was silent for a few moments before she spoke "I have two candidates in mind, both with their own drawbacks and advantages."

I pondered a moment "you're considering Naruto?"

"He is one of the two, yes."

"And the other must be Sakura"

"How'd you know?"

"They're the only two possibilities, any other choice amongst my age group would be either impossible or incredibly foolish; Shikamaru is a no go due to his relationship with my sister and Neji is a strange combination of brilliant and stupid, you simply do not want someone like that wielding the power of a Kage." I paused for a moment "and aside from those four, there's no one else of my age here who has either the intelligence, skill or personality necessary to be a Kage."

Tsunade gave a short laugh "we're on exactly the same page then."

"Though to be honest, neither Sakura or Naruto are ideal choices" I added.

"Would you care to elaborate on that?" Tsunade asked.

"Sakura, to put it bluntly, is too much like you in some ways but lacks your age and experience; she's definitely got a good head on her shoulders but she follows her heart more than is wise, she's too sentimental and too emotional, the politics of being a Kage would eat her alive, she's too easy to manipulate." Tsunade nodded in apparent agreement "as for Naruto, well, it's obvious really; he's too simpleminded and lacks the necessary managerial and diplomatic skills, true, he's likable enough but that can only carry you so far."

"Basically, you think Naruto would need to smarten up and Sakura would need to toughen up."

"In a nutshell, yes."

"Which so you think is more likely?"

I reclined and thought for a moment "Well, toughening up is something you can teach but smartening up is, well, a little bit more complicated than that-"

"So you're saying Sakura is the better candidate to put forward then?" Tsunade interrupted me.

"Why are you even discussing this with me?," I asked "don't you have advisers for this sort of thing?"

Tsunade shot me a disbelieving glance and laughed out loud "I trust them about as much as I trust myself not to drink and gamble when presented with the opportunity."

I laughed back at that "fair enough, but what about some of your own Shinobi then, why are you coming to me with this?"

Tsunade gave a light shrug "because to be honest Gaara, in my entire life you are only the third person I've ever met who's had the courage to tell me my shit stank and as for the other two one's dead and the other...I don't think he would give particularly good advice." Tsunade sighed and shook her head "what I'm saying Gaara is you're a combination of balls and brains as well as sense and I'm old enough to appreciate how incredibly rare that is and what's more is you're legitimately concerned about the Shinobi world at large and not just your own village so I can count on you to give genuinely honest advice." I smirked "and don't let any of that go to your head!" Tsunade immediately added.

"I'll try not to" I replied dryly...

…

I waited for him outside, the entire village was abuzz with what happened but I hadn't heard until a few moments ago. I've been cooping myself up in my home, not going out, locked in my room...I've been feeling so miserable, so lonely, I haven't wanted to see light or to see, or be seen by, people. What Naruto said to me, it cut me to my very soul and I'm still not over it but when Lee told me what had happened I rushed over here, I swear, if anything happens to him I'll – that thought was cut off as soon as I saw him come through the doors of the Hokage mansion, he looked glum but unharmed which was a relief to me. "Naruto!" I called, even with all the pain I was still holding inside I was just so darned relieved to see him unharmed, he seemed shocked to see me.

"...Oh, hey Sakura" he said awkwardly.

"I heard what happened and I just wanted to see if you were okay" I gulped, my heart was racing, I felt dizzy and I was filled with all these conflicting emotions. I wanted to hug him and I wanted to punch him, I wanted to scream at him and I wanted to kiss him, I wanted him to be mine and I wanted to let go of him.

"Yeah I'm fine" Naruto said "I made out with a month of D-ranks and my Chunin title stripped" he continued somberly.

I moved closer to him and Naruto seemed to recoil slightly "listen Sakura I still-"

"I'm not here about that" I interrupted him "I know you're still trying to figure shit out, and I'm okay with it" a complete lie, I couldn't be more not okay with it but I hadn't come here to pressure him "I'm also sorry how I reacted, some of the stuff I said was out of line" I continued.

Naruto shook his head "no Sakura, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you because this is all my fault" he frowned "you had every right to freak the fuck out on me like that, I never should've agreed to a relationship in the first place and I never should've slept with you that night because deep down I knew from the beginning I was just going to hurt you." Naruto gave a half-hearted laugh "seems like that's the only thing I'm good at, hurting things and breaking stuff, but, point is Sakura that I wronged you and not the other way around, I felt weird about this from the beginning but I went along with it anyways and just ended up hurting you."

I let out a sigh of my own "I'm sorry too Naruto, I should've never pressured you to begin with, I should've taken the first no as 'no' and just went on with my life...this is as much my fault as yours" logically I knew this to be true but my heart was another matter; I still wanted him.

"Aside from all that though" Naruto began "Sakura, I'm glad you came by because I need someone to talk to, I need to figure my shit out and without that Pervy Sage around I don't have anyone to bounce ideas off anymore, I'm really confused about life right now to be honest" he sounded sincere "do you wanna grab lunch?" he asked. My heart jumped a beat at hearing that, dammit, am I setting myself up for failure and hurt the same way I did with Sasuske? Am I just attaching myself to someone who won't return my feelings all over again? Wouldn't it just be easier to forget about it and move on?...only one way to find out I suppose.

"Sure Naruto, that sounds lovely."

…

I was waiting on my brother's meeting with Tsunade outside her office with that Hinata girl but my mind was far from here right now as this morning was fucking hectic between having to explain to the other Jonin what was going on, Baki had somehow concluded that Gaara declared war on Konoha, and reading/responding to letters from Suna I've been running all over the place. Not only that but we've received some pretty...well...disturbing news from home that I'm waiting until Gaara is in a better mood to spring on him, dammit Kankuro, I always knew he was a few cards short of a deck in some regards but what they say he's done is just...ugh...no point worrying or thinking about it now. I wished Shikamaru was here with me right now but he was gone, duty calls I guess. To be honest I wasn't really worried and neither was Shikamaru this morning when he saw me off but even still...I always felt so lonely when he wasn't around; so terribly, terribly lonely.

I took a deep breath and focused my mind away from the hectic insanity that was the past few hours and took in my surroundings. Hinata seemed frightened which was kind of funny to me considering that out of all of us she had the least to be worried about in terms of political fallout, she didn't really do anything. Then again that probably isn't what's scaring her, no, her fear intensified after Hiashi emerged from Tsunade's office clearly enraged and throwing us both sour glares. Hinata sank into her chair...I flipped him off, probably not the most politically savvy move on my part but seriously fuck that guy. "You can't let it define you" I broke the uncomfortable silence and Hinata snapped to attention, nearly jumping out of her chair as though I had knocked her from a dream.

Timidly, she turned to me "a-are you talking to me?"

"There's no one else here" I pointed out to which Hinata gave a nervous nod. "You can't let it define you" I repeated.

"Wha-what do you mean?" Hinata stammered out in nervous confusion.

"The abuse, you can't let it define you" Hinata went completely quiet "look at you! Just THINKING about it damn near immobilizes you!" I snapped as Hinata gazed back at me transfixed. "The instant you let that shit define who you are and how you think of yourself you are completely fucked" I smacked the back of my hand into my palm to emphasize my point "your father says you're weak? Fuck him! Your cousin is an arrogant cock who thinks he's better than everyone? Fuck him too! Your sister is a spoiled rotten little punk who thinks she's better than you? Fuck her as well!" I continued my rant of sorts. Hinata remained quiet "none of that shit should matter to you!"

"B-but..." Hinata began to reply before she trailed off.

"But what?!"

"But they're my family, they're my clan!"

"Who gives a shit?!" I threw my arms up in dismissal "my father never thought shit of me either, the day I stopped caring what he thought is the day my happiness and strength spiked."

Hinata seemed to be regarding what I said for a moment before she turned her head away and looked down "...I'm not strong enough to do that."

I sighed and shook my head "and until you stop telling yourself that you never will be."

Hinata turned back to me sharply, her expression now angry "you think it's just that easy don't you?"

"IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY YOU DUMB BITCH!" I shrieked in frustration and slapped my knees with the backs of my hands as I groaned into the sky. "You know what's easy?, taking their shit, playing the knave, telling yourself they're right so you don't have to push yourself to prove them wrong, that is the EASIEST shit in the world" Hinata shut up real quick "you know what else is easy?, not making decisions and waffling on what you want, pussing out when it comes to decision time and speaking of that you need to make up your mind already; do you want the blonde kid or my brother?"

Hinata's eyes went wide in shock "oh don't give me that shit I'm not an idiot, I saw the way you were looking at Gaara and Naruto the whole walk here, news flash sweetheart; you can't have them both." Hinata looked a little ashamed "hey I'm not judging, to be honest I can see the appeal; he's cute enough and he beat your dad's ass because he hit you and that shit is romantic as fuck plus it shows he cares about you and is strong enough to protect you, his personality is easygoing and aside from being a bit of a dumbass he doesn't seem like he'd be hard to get along with" I added. "And as for Gaara...well...he's my brother so I can't comment on looks because that's just creepy and on personality I'm going to be a bit biased but I'd wager he's a fair bit deeper than that kid, smarter too, maybe a little bit more insecure which can be a turn on for some chicks and he probably 'gets you' more, Naruto's probably not deep enough to get you entirely."

"He called me dark and weird when we were kids once," Hinata said softly and I laughed "but then he added that he likes people like that!" Hinata spoke over my laugh.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he gets it," I shook my head "that boy hasn't seen or endured shit."

Hinata got angry again at that "he has too!" She yelled at me "he's the Jinchuriki of the Nine Tails, everyone persecuted him as a kid! Everyone looked down on him! He had no one!"

I snorted "you think that's so bad? you've been through worse yourself."

Hinata kinked her head "...what?"

I leaned in closer "being surrounded by people who SHOULD love you but don't is even lonelier than being all alone and ANYONE who tells you otherwise is a fucking FOOL!" I ended that sentence sharply "you and Gaara share that in common, it's a kind of loneliness that even Naruto doesn't understand, in fact very, very few people do." Hinata remained quiet "you better decide quick too, that redheaded chick is looking to dig her claws in deep to Naruto and never let go and Gaara has a laundry list of suitors he's been ignoring, and well, with the way you've made a fuckup of the entire thing that might have been enough to push Gaara into the awaiting arms of at least one of them."

Hinata looked at the ground "...I really have made a mess of this all, haven't I?"

"Yeah, acting on your heart tends to do that unfortunately and I'll tell ya Gaara might just be the last person in this world who's heart you want to play with because once you lose his trust..." I sighed softly "...you never get it back."

There was a pause before Hinata said in an inquisitive tone "what do you mean 'never get it back'?" she asked.

I shook my head "forget it" I dismissed "the point is you should do what you gotta do to make up your mind and do it soon and stop being such a pansy about it."

Hinata took a deep breath "you're right" she said then stood up and walked towards the door.

"Wait, where you going?; aren't you under Gaara's protection right now?" I asked.

Hinata looked back at me "you saw my father on the way out, I'm obviously off the hook, if I wasn't he'd have at least taken the time to gloat" she pointed out before heading straight out the door.

…

She was absolutely right, I had to be sure about how I felt and there was only one way to do it, I needed to go see him and I needed to confront all my fears revolving around him, I needed time alone with Naruto...just had to find him now. My search would prove to be short lived as it wasn't long before I heard shouting voices.

"OH SCREW YOU NARUTO!" Sakura's voice rang clear and loud from the nearby Ramen booth, Ichiraku's, I should've looked here in the first place! "I KNEW TALKING TO YOU WAS A MISTAKE!" she continued shouting, standing now, the other patrons were dead quiet, even Teuchi was silent as Naruto looked away from Sakura, staring into his ramen bowl sadly.

"...I'm sorry-"

"SAVE IT!" she interrupted snappily before turning sharply and storming directly past me, for a moment her eyes caught mine and she seemed to be...crying? I shook thoughts concerning her from my head, I'd come here for a reason and I couldn't as Temari put it 'puss out' like I have so many, many times before; I took a deep breath and approached.

"Hi Naruto" I managed to say without stuttering which was a surprise even to me as Naruto looked up. I put on the biggest most beaming smile I could manage "girl troubles?" I said in a cute tone, pointing out the obvious. Naruto sort of half-smiled back at me and then shook his head "no, -me- troubles" he said solemnly "Sakura's only mad because I did something really dumb."

"What was that?" I asked and Naruto let out a heavy sigh.

"...Sleep with her" he said after a long pause.

I started to waver in my own mind '...maybe this is a bad time' I thought to myself 'NO DAMMIT!' I immediately stopped that train of thought 'that's the same crap that's lead to this whole mess' I reasoned in my mind, I brushed my bangs with one hand as I had known more confidant girls to do when they're attracted to a boy; I guess it was supposed to make them seem elite and uninterested, part of the game that's supposed to be played maybe?

"I guess it's over the stuff you talked about with me earlier?" I asked and took a seat beside him.

"Weah" Naruto answered "like I said, I thought with my dick and not with my brain" Naruto frowned "...and I just ended up hurting her" Naruto paused then turned back to look at his ramen bowl "...that's all I'm good at...hurting people..." he uttered lowly, moping.

"That's not true" I reassured him, I put a hand on his shoulder, I felt my heart jump, the same fear I always felt but I pushed through it, I kept that smile painted to my face "you're good at making me smile" I said honestly which seemed to brighten Naruto up a bit. Naruto turned to face me "you're good at helping people too" I pointed out "think of all the people who'd be in a worse state right now if not for you" I continued.

"Yeah, I guess that's true" Naruto said, a small smile beginning to grace his face.

"You're also good at protecting me" I said earnestly, I slowly moved my hand up from his shoulder and past his neck to cup the side of his face.

Naruto had this transfixed expression, his eyes locked with mine when suddenly I...I felt this twinge of pain shoot through my stomach and for a split second I saw in my mind the moment me and Gaara shared in the woods beyond the borders of Konoha, the kiss we shared, how I felt...I saw him slipping away. I shook the thought from my mind, I was here in the moment, what's now is what's important, never before had I a more golden opportunity to have Naruto to myself, I'd be a fool not to take it! "I meant what I said those days ago Naruto, about how I feel about you, how I've always felt" I continued as Naruto remained silently staring at me "and I had such a lovely time last night, even with all that happened" I continued and began to lean in to kiss him when AGAIN that same sharp pain rushed through me and another image flashed through my mind; this time I saw us high above the rooftops of Konoha, Gaara taking my hands in his own, sharing his hopes and desires for the world with me, I saw him crying and broken; casting it all aside.

I shook this too from my mind 'I just need more time with him' I rationalized in my mind "wanna get outta here?" I asked and liltingly allowed my hand to drift from Naruto's cheek, grazing it with my fingertips as I went, mimicking ever-so-carefully everything I knew a woman was supposed to do when seducing her chosen man.

Naruto said nothing but slowly nodded...

…

"Temari, please sit down" Tsunade said calmly as I entered, Gaara was still seated.

"Where is Hinata?" Tsunade asked and I paused not knowing what to say, I didn't want to get her in trouble with her Kage.

"It's fine, she's not in trouble" Gaara said and I let out a light sigh of relief.

"She took off" I answered.

"Where to?" Gaara asked pointedly.

I paused before I gave my answer, unsure how Gaara would react "...she took off after that Naruto kid I think" I answered. Gaara's expression changed slightly, almost impossible to perceive but being as accustomed to his moods as I am I noticed it and I knew from experience it meant it had taken a dark shift.

"It doesn't matter" Tsunade spoke aloud "she's off the hook anyway, and so are you" I again breathed a sigh of relief.

"But!" Gaara said sharply "you may be off the hook as far as with Konoha and Tsunade, but you're not off the hook with me" I turned to Gaara and glowered at him "...did you really just bring me in here to chew me out?" I grumbled.

Gaara sighed and shook his head "it's nothing you haven't heard from me before Temari, you need to control your temper better-"

"Oh that is a fucking LAUGH coming from you!"

"You killed three of them" Gaara retorted.

"And you nearly killed more!-"

"Nearly killed Temari, nearly, that's the key word here; nearly" Gaara interrupted me. I sulked into myself and looked away, arms folded "I didn't take anybody's damn head off!" Gaara continued.

"...You were going to implode Neji into a mushy puddle of human jelly" I retorted sourly, not looking at him."

"Yes, but I didn't"

"Only because he got away!"

"Can you two do this on your own time?!" Tsunade interrupted pointedly with a raised eyebrow then chuckled to herself and shook her head "siblings" she commented to who I could only assume was herself. "The reason you were brought in Temari is for us to explain the details of how your stays here in Konoha are going to work, as you know myself and your brother here have-"

"You don't need me for this, I'll see myself out" Gaara interrupted.

Tsunade stopped and looked at him puzzled as he rose "I have issues which require my attention and I have already been here quite awhile, we already hammered out how it's going to work and I trust you'll fill Temari in; my presence here is unneeded" Gaara stated in a brusque manner and left through the door without waiting for a response.

Gaara's exit had blanked the air with a discomforting quiet. Tsunade sighed at me "telling him that wasn't smart on your part" she lectured.

"I'm a terrible liar" I said with a shrug.

"Guess such a young Kage comes with pros and cons" Tsunade mused.

I piqued a brow "what do you mean?" I inquired.

Tsunade gave a shake of her head "doesn't matter," she gave as an answer "in any event, while here in Konoha for half the year Sunagakure will be essentially 'lending' you to us so you will of course be..."

…

'I JUST COULD'T DO IT!' I screamed at myself in my head. At the end of the day I just can't do it, my feelings for him are too strong. I can't help but get over emotional and freak out. I just care about him too much and first I panic and then I get angry and I just can't keep it inside! I slammed the bottoms of my fists into the concrete underneath me in frustration leaving cracks in the ground. This isn't like me, it really isn't. I've matured so, so, SO much from that stupid little girl of years past, I *know* I have and yet here I find myself. Here I find myself again with these non reciprocated feelings, or at least I think they're non reciprocated? I can't tell with him, I can't tell at all. I know he's hurting inside and I know he's pushing me away but I don't understand why! Everything has just gotten weird since that night I...

That's when it hit me, ever since that night I went to Naruto's drunk and we fucked things have been crazy. I'd moved too fast. I'd scared him away! That was it! If I had just let him have his space like he wanted in the first place none of this would have happened! "...Tsunade" I said lowly to myself "it's her fault!" I shouted at no one in particular. I knew I shouldn't have listened to her; I'm such an idiot! I took a deep breath and rose to my feet. Wiping the tears from under my eyes with my arm I resolved to march myself down to the Hokage mansion and give her a piece of my mind. I walked briskly; the pounding trot to each step I took resonated throughout my being, I could feel the wrath and anger at everything that has happened these past days well up inside. As I neared the mansion I saw a figure in the distance walking in my direction with an equal briskness of step. The figure neared and I recognized it to be Gaara.

As he neared I saw his face was fixed into a hard stare ahead, he didn't seem to notice or even regard me as though he were looking through and past me. I felt some my anger inside directing itself at him. Gaara is also to blame. It was Gaara that inspired Hinata to move and place the seeds of doubt in Naruto. It was Gaara that set this entire chain of events into motion, if only he'd kept his big mouth shut. As Gaara neared I glared at him but he kept his stare directed ahead of himself without so much as regarding me but stopped as soon as we were directly horizontal of one another.

"Do you want something?" he rasped without looking at me. He was disregarding me and that made me mad.

I balled my right hand into a fist, he was so snide, so arrogant, saw himself as so above it all...he reminded me of Sasuske. At that realization I turned and let fly with a sudden right hook catching him off guard and colliding directly with his left cheek. Gaara flew back and into the air like a torpedo before crashing into the ground right in front of the Hokage mansion.

I continued my march ahead as Gaara raised up from the ground, layers of armor cracking off; he glared at me with what I could only describe as a wicked smile and clasped his hands together into seals. Dozens of tendrils of sand ending in Shukaku-like claws sped out from all sides of him directly at me. I charged ahead and let out a warcry as I knocked and kicked each one aside with my enhanced strength without slowing my approach a fraction. Gaara appeared shocked at how quickly I closed the distance and before he could even react I launched an uppercut directly into his stomach sending him flying into the air. With a great bound I soared high into the sky faster and higher than the force of my blow ascended him. My fists raised above my head in a double hammer I smashed them down onto his spine at the same instant I rose my knee crushing him between a rock and a hard place. Stunned as he was I grabbed him and raised him over my head intending to literally slam him head first onto the ground as I descended.

Suddenly my descent stopped sharply as I felt myself jerked back and choking. A tendril of sand had slipped around my neck. I let go of Gaara and broke the tendril off but another raised behind me and with a powerful lash sent myself crashing downwards. I managed to land on my hands and with my enhanced strength propelled myself back upwards with a handspring of sorts launching myself back into the air after Gaara. I wheeled my arm back with the intention to cream him again, he was up high on a cloud of sand recovering from my attacks and fortunately for me directly in my path. He turned, his face a picture of extreme shock as I punched him, sending him careening back down to the ground. I handspringed off an adjacent building, rocketing myself down after him and as soon as he crashed landed backside first dead center on his chest with a powerful *thud*. The first thing I felt as I crashed on top of him was his lungs compress deep into himself from under the force and weight of my ample behind. My legs were splayed out over his shoulders and my left hand clenched around his throat; I saw him gasp as the air was forced out from him, saliva mixed with backed up blood sprayed from his mouth. Confident that he was sufficiently pinned I wheeled my arm back and punched down directly at his face only to connect with nothing but a hollow shell of sand.

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed in disbelief as the body I was sitting on melted into sand beneath me and I found myself caught in a whirlpool of quicksand.

I looked up and saw Gaara hovering above as I sank "that large rear end of yours is a powerful weapon" he chided "knocked the wind right out of me" he continued. I snarled at him as I continued to sink, I struggled but to no avail, the entirety of the ground beneath me was all give and I had nothing to grab onto "fortunately for myself substituting out from under you wasn't too much of an issue" Gaara continued as he cracked the side of his jaw with his hand "I'm surprised you managed to hurt me, your strength has clearly grown tremendously." Gaara raised his hand to his chin as though pondering "no, I -could- make a joke there but it's just too easy" he continued mocking me.

"When I get my hands on you...I'm gonna fucking kill you!" I growled then shouted as I continued my descent into the quicksand beneath me past my midsection and almost up to my chest.

Gaara scowled down at me "what have I done to elicit such anger from you?"

"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" The noise of our brawl must've gotten Tsunade's attention as she exited the mansion right before I screamed that.

"I ruined what now?" Gaara asked incredulously.

"You started it all! If it wasn't for you Hinata never would've stuck her nose in mine and Naruto's business! None of this would've happened!" I shouted "AND YOU!" I directed this at Tsunade "if you never convinced me to to go to Naruto when he said he needed space then things wouldn't have gotten worse!" I felt my strength spurred by my growing rage and with a mighty flex I dispersed the whirlpool around me, scattering huge amounts of sand in all directions. Gaara however was ready and swirled the sand around me in an obscuring sandstorm. As I leaped up to my feet I raised my arm in front of my face to protect my eyes and charged forward in an attempt to leave the cloud when something hard cracked me in the side of the head. I swung blindly in the direction of the attack but just whiffed air when I was hit again from the rear, I turned and swung again but still; nothing but air.

The attacks increased in frequency, never hitting from the same spot, I tried to focus on what the attacks were exactly when I caught a glimpse through the sand. Gaara was spawning and then dispersing sand clones all throughout the cloud, he must be using the same sand to keep making them disappear and reappear all throughout the cloud; as long as I was in it I was at his mercy. Extending out my arms I slammed my hands together in a mighty clap forcing air in both directions, this forced the sand particles further apart. I got ready to repeat this tactic but as though he were a step ahead of me Gaara consolidated the particles together and formed multiple sand clones; there looked to be a dozen surrounding me. "BRING IT ON!" I let out a roar and they all charged at once. I looked around for Gaara but he was nowhere to be seen and the sand clones were closing in fast. I charged straight at where the largest concentration of clones were approaching and threw a combination of strikes, each blow dispersing a clone back into sand particles but I kept pushing forward with each strike.

I figured out Gaara's plan. He wanted me to stay put and let the clones come at me then he'd just reform the sand cloud from their particles after I pulverized them; clever, but I saw through it. I kept pushing forward. I was much faster and stronger than the clones and their superior numbers did them little good against my superior taijutsu. I kept dodging, bobbing, weaving through their strikes and smashing them down, never staying in one spot, never letting enough sand get together in one place for the cloud to reform. In no time at all, all the clones were down and I looked up to see Gaara in the sky on his cloud of sand "COME ON!" I called up at him "COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT!" I grinned wryly "I PROMISE I WON'T SIT ON YOU AGAIN!" I chided, tauntingly slapping the side of my hip as I did. Gaara just looked down at me, his arms folded, his gaze condescending as always "WHAT?! YOU SCARED?!" I laughed "I DON'T BLAME YOU! YOU SKINNY WEAK LITTLE-"

"LOOK BEHIND YOU, YOU IDIOT! I heard Tsunade call from the sidelines.

I looked behind to see all the sand clones conjoining together into some sort of massive mound of sand. I looked back up towards Gaara and saw a thick shell of sand forming around him as an eye formed above. "Oh no you don't!" I said and with a mighty bound and a pivoting leap from the side of a building I was headed straight for him. Summoning all the chakra I could muster into my foot and at the peak of my velocity I delivered a spinning kick directly to the center of his shell...and I accomplished little more than making a small dent. I started falling fast but caught myself in a tumblesault and landed on my feet. As I looked up I saw the shell repair the dent I made and Gaara's third eye began descending towards the mound of sand which was now taking on a vaguely humanoid shape, only gigantic; taller than the walls of Konoha. The eye descended into the middle of what I guess could be called the head of the monstrosity that was forming and from there it quickly took on a definite shape; that of a giant one eyed Oni wielding a huge club.

"..an Oni made of sand?" Tsunade commented bewildered from the sidelines as more onlookers had gathered looking on with shocked expressions. With sudden and surprising speed the Sand Oni swung its club in a great vertical arc towards me. I narrowly dodged around towards its flank but it caught me square in the midsection with the back of its free arm sending me right back. It whirled around as I was stunned and swung its great club into me knocking me into the sky and directly towards Gaara's shell of sand. The force of the blow had left me completely immobilized; I couldn't move an inch, I was utterly helpless in the air. As I approached at an incredible velocity Gaara quickly dispersed the shell and appeared to be holding what was a halberd or some other kind of pole-arm made of sand. Gaara whirled the pole-arm over his head building velocity and at the exact same moment I reached its range brought the bladed edge down towards me. I felt my life flash before my eyes as I braced myself for a beheading when I suddenly and sharply stopped, I opened my eyes to see the bladed end of his weapon directly at my neck and my body held in place by the detached hand of the Sand Oni.

Gaara looked hard into my face before the stunned onlookers then dispersed the weapon "I'm impressed," he said, his eyes widening slightly with his words. "I'd wager if you weren't so emotional at the moment and in a better state of mind you'd have really given me a run for my money; didn't think I'd have to bust one of my best new Jutsu out to stop you." I struggled against the grip of the Sand Oni but it was just too strong, even with all my chakra, all of my strength I couldn't budge it. "Now, are you ready to calm down and discuss whatever it is that's troubling you like an adult?"

I felt my blood boil inside at first but once the rational part of my brain kicked in I realized he was right; this was pointless. I let out a deep exhale "yeah, alright; I'm fine" I said in a resigned and slightly embarrassed tone.

"Good" Gaara replied as he began descending with me "thanks by the way, I needed that more than you know" he said to me.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused.

"That fight, I needed a good fight; it cleared my head of some pretty negative thoughts" he elaborated as we descended to solid ground.

Once we landed the hand grasping me dissipated to sand and returned to the gourd on Gaara's back. "Do you drink?" Gaara asked bluntly.

I nodded "yeah, I'm a sake girl myself."

"Excellent" Gaara declared with a clap of his hands "I think that fight deserves one," Gaara beckoned me "come, my treat."

I was taken aback by how suddenly we had gone from trying to kill one another to something so amiable "that's very generous of you" I gave a polite bow.

Gaara dismissed it with a wave of his arm "think nothing of it, it is customary where I am from to share drinks with a worthy opponent when there are no hard feelings."

I considered his offer for a moment before I gave a shrug "why not? Sure!"

…

She was clinging to my arm and I'm not gonna to lie, it felt nice. It felt nice especially after all the drama and bullshit I've been going through in my mind with Sakura, it was good to enjoy something simple. I looked over to Hinata, her cheek was resting on my shoulder; it was hard to imagine a prettier sight. I looked down at her and she looked back to me with this forlorn doughy eyed expression, it reminded me of something but I couldn't place it and for some reason it...bothered me. I shook it from my head 'it's probably nothing' I thought to myself as we sat there on the bench looking at all the people passing by.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" I asked.

"Mean what?" Hinata replied.

"About all the things I'm good at" I said.

"Mmmn-hmm!" Hinata answered earnestly "everyone who's life you've ever touched has been made better for it," she continued.

I nodded, "yeah" I replied, "I try to do good things wherever I go, doesn't always work out that way though" I sighed.

"Just forget about all that for now" Hinata said with a smile "let's just focus on the here and now" she concluded.

As I looked down into her smile there was something about it, something strange but familiar; I didn't like it. I ignored it. It's probably just me being weird. "Yeah, I guess you're right" I answered her.

"Remember the Chunin exams?" Hinata piqued up, probably in an attempt to take my mind off other stuff.

I gave a short laugh "how can I forget," I gave her a knowing look "I kicked Neji's ass for you."

"I remember," Hinata said "you swore an oath to beat him on my blood" she continued.

I gave her a slightly embarrassed look "you saw that?" Hinata nodded "I wasn't totally unconscious" she explained.

I shook my head slightly "yeah, I was trying to look intimidating and badass," I paused before I continued "plus it was symbolic; I was making that promise to you as much as I was making it to myself."

"It was really-" Hinata paused and blushed. She let go of my arm and withdrew slightly, clearly embarrassed.

I turned to her with a curious half smile "it was really what?"

Hinata put her hands to her cheeks, blushing, shaking her head "don't make me say it!" she practically squealed.

"C'mon tell me!" I pressed "it was really romantic!" she blurted out while fidgeting her shoulders back and forth.

I gave her a strange look and a sort of laugh "ha, to be honest there quite a few things I was going for with that...but 'romantic' wasn't one of them" I answered.

Hinata gave me a pouty look "you think I'm dark and weird still, don't you?" I laughed again.

"Well yeah, but there's nothing wrong with that; I said I like people like that didn't I?" I answered.

Hinata smiled at me "yes, you did" she replied, gazing deep into my eyes. I had this sinking feeling in my stomach as she leaned in closer to me...

…

I had taken Sakura to the same establishment I'd taken Naruto and Hinata last night and they were more than happy to see my returned patronage. The two of us sat at an open table near the entrance with a view leading directly out onto the streets of Konoha. Sakura had taken a look at the list of sake they served and gave me a stunned look when I told her I'd cover whatever she ended up getting. I would soon see why when the server returned with a rather expensive bottle of Daiginju-shu sake. I had to give her credit, she certainly had FAAAR better taste than Tsunade who was perfectly content with swilling back cheap Futsuu-shu.

"Didn't realize you had such a discerning palette" I commented.

Sakura lifted her small cup up to the server as they filled it and set the rest of the flask on the table before turning her attention back to me "I developed a taste for the expensive stuff pretty quickly, Tsunade took me out for my 20th and got me absolutely smashed on the cheap stuff and ever since then it's tasted vile to me so what other options did I have really?"

"You could not drink" I offered an alternative.

"Well, yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Sakura said with a laugh as the server returned with my bottle.

"Thank you, this will do nicely" I said as the server simply uncapped the bottle and left it on the table for me to pour myself. Sakura looked at me curiously "they know me here and I prefer to pour for myself," I carefully decanted the liquid into my glass "they always pour in the bottom sediment" I continued.

"That's an interesting bottle, can I look at it?" Sakura asked.

"Sure" I handed it over and Sakura turned it over in her hand.

"Oh, it's written in the dialect of the Land of Wind; must be a pretty far off import," Sakura put her index finger under the text "...brown ale" she read it aloud before handing the bottle back.

"You can read the Land of Wind script?" I asked, more than a little shocked.

"Yeah" Sakura answered.

"Is that something they teach in the Konoha Shinobi academy?" I inquired.

Sakura shook her head "no, you can get by in the Ninja world only knowing the Land of Fire script since it's written and read in every Hidden Village," Sakura gave a shrug "it's something I taught myself on my own" she answered.

Sakura was continuing to impress me "you're quite knowledgeable" I praised "do you know why it is that the Land of Fire script and tongue are known throughout all the Hidden Villages?" I asked.

Sakura gave me a look like I had two heads "that's an easy one!" she dismissed "the Shinobi arts originated in the Land of Fire and were spread to the other nations through the native culture and language that exists here; of course it's understood and spoken by all Shinobi regardless of their village."

"_How is the sake"_ I asked Sakura in the native Land of Wind tongue.

"_Very nice, thank you"_ she replied without missing a beat.

I laughed "very good," I commended "the accents on the vowels were a little off but it was nothing that made it so you couldn't be understood" I offered a small critique.

Sakura gave a shrug "not much opportunity to practice it" she answered.

I nodded "quite true, even my village hardly uses the Land of Wind dialect anymore and we live in it."

I took a sip of my beer "What else do you know about my land?" I asked.

"Can you be more specific?" Sakura asked while raising her sake cup to her mouth to do likewise.

"Just in general" I said.

Sakura took a sip and let out a refreshed "ahh," before lowering her cup "I know that the culture of the Land of Wind is divided into two broad groups; one nomadic and one settled. The settled groups live either in the cities which are mostly confined to the southeastern part of the country by the ocean or in agrarian communities based around the fertile desert oasis' that dot the Land of Wind while the Nomadic groups live in the far southwest. As opposed to the Land of Fire which has one Daimyo The Land of Wind has many. Daimyo in the Land of Wind are measured in strength by the amount of oasis' they control as the oasis' are essentially the sole sources of agriculture and fresh water; the more oasis' they control the wealthier they become and thus the bigger the armies and cities they can support and the bigger their political muscle. Currently the mightiest Daimyo controls roughly half of the oasis' and owns the largest city though the other Daimyo have formed sort of an unofficial alliance against him"

Sakura took a break to take another sip of her sake "Economically The Land of Wind has the most active mercantile class due to its massive natural harbors along its south eastern beach and the large demand for its goods; foreign trade accounts for over half of its gross domestic income. The divisions between the wealthy and the poor are more extreme than in any of the Great Nations with the wealthy being ludicrously so and the poor often struggling to so much as feed themselves, banditry and outlawry are more common in the Land of Wind than anywhere else on the continent. The main religion is polytheistic; Horus, Isis, Anubis, Set, Osiris and Ra all spring to mind as prominent Land of Wind deities."

Sakura began to raise her cup for another drink "I can keep going if you want" she said dryly with a shrug.

"No-no that's more than enough for it to be apparent to me that you know what you're talking about" I replied before taking a hearty gulp of my beer.

"So, what do you know about the Land of Fire?" Sakura challenged. I was taken aback with how readily she put me on the spot "less than you know about the Land of Wind I'm afraid" I began. "I know that the Land of Fire trades extensively with the Land of Wind and we are its main supplier of goods from beyond the ocean. Though the Land of Fire does trade with the lands beyond the ocean it has but one large natural harbor which it shares with the Land of Waves which limits its trading capacity. However its agrarian economy is far more stable than ours due to possessing more fertile lands."

I finished my beer and motioned for the server to bring me another "I know that your political structure is far more solid than ours due to having a single Daimyo and your Hidden Village has a far more direct relationship to him than ours to our many feuding Daimyo even insofar as your Daimyo having elite Shinobi guards. Sarutobi Asuma served as one in the past if I am not mistaken. I can't quote figures on the Land of Fire's GDI as you did for the Land of Wind off the top of my head, but I'm sure I've got the statistics written down somewhere back in my office at Suna. As for religion I know the native faith is known as Shinto which combines aspects of Polytheism, Pantheism and Animism and is centered around the worship of spiritual beings of various power and origin known collectively as Kami, though a foreign religion from the Land of Earth known as Buddhism has gained significant traction here. I know little of its tenants or practices but from what I understand it's based around a refusal of earthly goods and an inner spiritual search for enlightenment."

Sakura nodded "good enough" she said with a devilish smile and took a big gulp out of her sake cup then held it out for me. I looked confusedly at her outstretched arm and cup "I finished my cup" she pointed out and gave it a small shake.

"Oh, where are my manners!" I said as it dawned on me and grabbed the carafe to pour "forgive me, but sometimes I forget the local customs" I explained as I refilled her cup...

…

Hinata leaned in close, her eyes closed, her lips pursed; it was obvious what she was intending. I froze up not knowing what to do, my stomach was in knots but not in that kind of butterflies way but in that way that felt very, very wrong. Hinata kept leaning in and I didn't know what to do, on one hand I wanted to kiss her and see where things went but on the other hand this feeling in my gut, it just was unbearable and the closer she leaned in the more unbearable it got. I know she'd always had a crush on me, the last thing I want to do is push her away and hurt her, I don't want to hurt anybody! When suddenly it dawned on me, I'd been an idiot all this time!

I grabbed Hinata's shoulders and held her back "Hinata...this is wrong" I said.

…

No...nonononononono! I shook my head. I didn't just hear that. I couldn't have just heard that. This is what I'd been afraid of! This is why I never made a move! This is why...EVERYTHING!

"I don't feel this way about you, I'm sorry" Naruto reiterated.

I felt my limbs go weak, my body started shaking, all the pain, all the grief...I couldn't bare it and it just came rushing out in a loud cry and as if on cue I heard thunder crack above indicating that it was likely going to rain soon.

Naruto looked at me, his expression was one of nervousness as I began to bawl out buckets of tears "NOBODY LOVES ME!" I wailed as Naruto closed his eyes "I'M GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER!" I continued as the rain began to pour down "I'VE FUCKED IT ALL UP-"

"OH WOULD YOU STOP WITH YOUR SELF-PITYING BULLSHIT ALREADY?!" Naruto bellowed at me. I went quiet as he glared in frustration at me "stop putting me up on this pedestal, alright?!" Naruto continued "you've been obsessing over me for nearly a fucking decade just building up this image of me in your head." Naruto sighed "the truth of the matter is Hinata that you're not in love with me, you're in love with the idea in your head that you have of me." "It's just like-" Naruto stopped and his eyes went wide as though he just had a huge realization "...it's just like Sakura and Sasuske." Naruto made a short, sharp "huh" almost laugh sound then grinned then broke out into laughter "oh man, I'm an absolute fucking moron" Naruto said with a shake of his head.

I was staring at him, a mixture of confusion and pain "Hinata" he began "you don't even feel comfortable being yourself around me," Naruto maintained direct eye contact with me "this whole time you've been fronting, this isn't you."

He was right "I-I-I'm just so scared of being myself around you."

"That's because deep down you KNOW this isn't real!" Naruto said "you aren't yourself around me because you know the archetype you've concocted in your mind of me isn't me and today you got over that fear by playing into the your own fantasy!" Again, he was right. "You have to see that, that's not healthy and is no basis for ANY kind of relationship" Naruto sighed "you have to find someone who you truly, TRULY, care about for who they really are on a deep level, someone who you feel safe sharing your innermost self with, someone who-"

"It's Gaara" I answered lowly "Gaara's the only person I've ever met in my entire life who I don't feel scared being myself around at all" I realized this as I said it and raised my hand to my temple. I slowly turned to look at the ground "...Naruto...I think I might've screwed everything up," I gulped "the last time me and Gaara talked he was angry with me and said I played with his heart, then Temari told me that when you lose Gaara's trust you never get it back." I was shaking and grasped my head in both hands "I'm a fucking idiot, I just threw away the best thing that's ever come into my life!"

"Yeah, you and me both" I turned to Naruto and tears were welling up under his eyes "I don't think Sakura is ever going to speak to me again; she fucking hates me now" Naruto shook his head, his face contorting into a frown almost against his will as tears poured down his face. "She's the most loving, kindest, most beautiful woman in the world and I had her complete devotion and I JUST FUCKED IT ALL UP!" Naruto slammed his fist onto the bench. As I looked over at Naruto I couldn't help but feel responsible, even though I knew him and Sakura were together I took the strength Gaara gave me and I used it to drive a wedge of doubt between then...the man I had professed to love was sitting there crying and suffering because of me.

I knew then what I had to do. I grabbed Naruto's hand and said in a tone of urgency "we have to go find them!"

…

We had been talking at length about a variety of subjects ranging from our mutual appreciation for good drink to things of a more philosophical nature to art and politics to a variety of other subjects but as drink has a tendency to do our topic of conversation had shifted to matters more personal and somewhat sillier.

"So, why are you the one who's paying again?" Sakura asked gesturing at me with her drink in hand before taking the last of her sip and refilling the cup.

"Well because customarily it is the victor who treats in these kinds of situations" I said, boasting a little.

Sakura raised an eyebrow "ohhh, I see...so next time I'll be treating then" she grinned, then drained her cup in a single gulp.

I gave a dismissive chuckle "Sakura, you're a good fighter but I'm somewhat above your league-"

"Oh bullshit, I seem to remember somebody coughing up blood while their lungs were being crushed under my fat ass!" Sakura said probably a bit more loudly than would be prudent but she was rather drunk.

I shifted a little uncomfortably "you...don't have to say it like that" I commented. "Eh?," Sakura vocalized then looked around and down at the side of her hip "it's true" she gave a shrug then looked back at me, pointing. "And youuuu!" she dragged her syllables a little "you're just lucky you substituted out from under me mister...becaaauuuuse" she gave the side of her prominent bottom two affectionate pats "I don't think you had very good chances of throwing me off" she then burst out laughing and started slamming the tabletop with the bottom of her fist.

I shook my head "I knew I shouldn't have gotten you that third bottle-"

"Hey-hey!" Sakura interrupted "the winner treats right?" she continued laughing and took a big sip of her sake.

I sighed and relaxed a little, she probably needed this time to unwind and it wouldn't be helpful of me to be my typical, stick-in-the-mud self "you are correct, I was merely expressing concern that you may have exceeded your constitution for drink."

"Suuuurreeee" Sakura said sarcastically.

"By the by, you shouldn't speak so disparagingly about your figure as you do" I commented and Sakura gave me a puzzled drunken look "where I am from figures such as yours are considered quite attractive." I gave a shrug "Temari or Matsuri would be jealous of your butt to be honest," I paused in thought for a moment "especially Matsuri; she's got absolutely nothing back there" I commented.

"YOU SUPERFICIAL ASSHOLE!" Sakura shouted jokingly.

"What?!, it's true!"

Sakura started cracking up "oh man, you are soooo not 'above it all' like you act" Sakura emphasized the 'above it all part' with a silly sing-song voice.

"A man's not allowed to have his preferences?" I replied.

"I guuueessss soooooooo" she said in a mocking tone then took another sip her her sake. "So than what do YOU find most attractive on a girl, eh?" Sakura asked me with a wry, mischievous grin.

"Ohhhh a kind personality, a pretty face, a-"

"GET TO THE PART WHERE YOU'RE NOT BULLSHITTING!" Sakura roared and slammed her fist on the table.

"Big tits." I said bluntly.

"PLFFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Sakura burst out laughing uproariously, "wow! That wasn't typical male at all!" She continued sarcastically.

"You asked!"

"I did, I did...and I thank your for your honesty" Sakura said with a snicker.

'Big tits' perhaps not the most flattering of ways to be reminded someone but it never the less made me think of the events that have transpired between myself and Hinata and I let out a sad sigh.

"Oh what's eatin' ya? Spit it out!" Sakura half asked half demanded to which I shrugged.

"Just nonsense" I sighed again.

"Look" Sakura said "I may be drunk right now but I think between our fight earlier and all this crap just now I've figured something out about life." I gave Sakura an incredulous glance "I've been miserable obsessing and obsessing over Naruto but now that I've had a few drinks and I've calmed down I figure; eh, let people do what they're gonna do and the bullshit will probably resolve itself."

I pondered Sakura's drunken words of wisdom for a moment "...perhaps there's some truth to that-"

"HERE THEY ARE!" I heard a desperate cry before I had so much as finished my sentence, I turned to see Hinata, with Naruto in tow, literally sprint then leap towards me and wrap her arms around me in an embrace "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry" she repeated over and over.

Having absolutely no clue what else to do or even what was going on really I returned the embrace "just, calm down; tell me what happened" I attempted to calm her as she appeared to be hysterical.

Hinata looked up at me, she was sniffling "I went to see Naruto because I was still confused about my feelings and I went to kiss him but then he said it was wrong and then I realized you were the one I really had feelings for but I thought I screwed everything up because Temari told me you never forgive people so I came running looking for you and I'm sorry and..." Hinata hugged me very tightly and started tearing up "I'm just so glad to see you!"

I returned her embrace out of sheer not knowing what else to do "it-it's fine Hinata, here please, take a seat" I offered her a chair "now calm down, deep breaths, tell me what's-"

"I love you" she said between sniffles.

My eyes widened in shock at that "I, um..."

"I love you Gaara" she repeated "you're the only person I've ever felt such a connection with and you're the only person who's ever gone so far out of their way to-"

I pulled Hinata in and kissed her on the lips, partially to shut her up but mostly because I wanted to. I looked deep into her eyes and smiled "I love you too" I said "you're the only person I've ever met who truly makes me feel loved and I can honestly say that the moments we shared are the only moments I can recall where I've ever not felt that inner pang of misery that's always plagued me; you're the only antidote I've ever found, that's gotta mean something" I spoke honestly. The eyes of literally every patron were on us and our display but I honestly couldn't give two shits.

Sakura, who was still sitting directly across from me was watching the display with some amusement "and just as I got done telling ya!" she laughed "I must have supernatural timing or something."

Naruto sheepishly walked up to Sakura "hey" he said to which Sakura gave no reply "I've figured my shit out finally and I've realized that I'm an idiot and I know you probably don't want to talk to me ever again but I wanted you to know that I realized that the way I feel about you is-"

"Naruto" Sakura interrupted, she eyed him up and down almost as though she was getting ready to devour him "you have about ten seconds before I rip your clothes off and sit on your face, this is either going to happen here in public or in your bedroom so if you don't want me to embarrass you in front of all these people I'd suggest you start running" she said in a tone of absolute seriousness with a deadpan expression.

Naruto looked back at her in complete shock "ten" she began counting down as Naruto looked around at all the people staring at them "nine."

"Oh shit!" he shouted and ran out the door.

"EIGHT!" Sakura shouted as she chased right after him.

I watched the two of them run off with a smile then turned to Hinata "how about just you and me have an evening to ourselves" I said calmly to her.

And so we did.

((Closing Notes: Alright, well, for those of you who've stuck it out from the beginning to this point; Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! This brings an end to the current love-quadrangle story arc as well as sewing the seeds for the subject matter of the next arc. Also since it's more pronounced in this chapter than any of the others I'm gonna point out that I am definitely trying to give each of the different nations a separate and distinct cultural identity based loosely on real life ones.

Obviously with the Land of Wind I'm taking a lot from Ancient Egypt but I'm also going to be mixing in various Near Eastern and Mediterranean cultures with some of the Shinobi traditions of Suna based taken loosely from the Hashashin/Assassins of Middle Eastern lore. The Land of Earth I'm pretty much basing entirely on Imperial China with all of its various cultural groups and dynasties. The Land of Fire is obviously very Japanese and I'm not 100% on what I'm doing with the Land of Water or the Land of Lightning yet but I'll have them fleshed out by the time either becomes truly pertinent.

Anyways, thanks again for reading and I hope you've enjoyed.))


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